Letters to the World from the country known as Manchuria
Disclaimer: Axis Powers Hetalia (C) Hidekazu Himaruya
Hello, my name is Manchuria, or Manchukuo, or Dongbei, or whatever the hell do you call me. I learned about these craze about these letters so I will join
the bandwagon. And because people misinterpret me a lot. And because I called for letters, many nations responded.
Here's the list. And if you complain, get out of here!
Part 1: Letters from Other Asians
From Japan
Dear Manshu-san:
It's been a long time since I have heard of you. What happened to you after the war? I heard you were forced to fight with Kita-Chosen. By the way, why you
aren't giving me tofu cakes? It's your best product. And I heard you were trying to make one of your cities, Harbin if I could recall, join the Winter
Olympics.
BTW, what's up these days?
Sincerely,
Nihon
Dear Kiku:
Ha, it's been a long time since I was an independent country. I was forced to give up the mines to Russia and then to his slave China, and then I had to deal
with that Northern Korea guy in the Korean War. Most countries now forget me except in encyclopedias, but I am alive!
And China, heck, he's still China. And I wanted to be called as Manshukoku. You are joining the revisionist bandwagon led by China and his island sister
Taiwan. I don't want to be compared by them.
And my economy is bad these days. The only consolation is that North Korea's economy is worse off. He deserved it for following his boss like a robot! Now he
can be my slave again after all of these years! HAHAHAHA!
Well, life is hard, but then, how are you? Is Fukushima, Miyagi and Sendai OK? I heard about the quake. It's like a warzone, you know. At least I tried all I
could do along with Han China.
Sincerely yours,
Manchuria
From China
Dear Dongbei:
What's up? Let's revitalize your economy. I think I have great plans for you, aru! You will have the opportunity to rebuild your rail network. I also
persuaded North Korea to revitalize his economy, aru, and persuade his boss and his son to easen up his burden.
And prepare Harbin for the Winter Olympics, aru!
Love,
China
Dear Han:
How many times I want to be called as Manchuria rather than the damned "Northeast" name. It's the umpteenth time.
And yes, boss, I am preparing Harbin for the Winter Olympics. South Korea is annoying people again! Hah! I couldn't withstand he and his brother's claim to
my rightful territory! I do hope they finally reconcile for good. It's not good for business if one nation is a free market economy and his neighbor is not.
We are the middle way, right?
And of course, you are promising me to be given money to fix my railroads, but rarely I see them improve. My railroads are better off when I was hanging
around with Japan!
Sincerely yours,
Manchuria
P.S. Tell Japan to remind him of the Unit 731 and why he won't sober up on this. He's a hypocrite when America bombed Hiroshima but then refused to
acknowlege his soldiers raped Nanjing, used my country as a guinea pig, etc. Come on, I once ruled over you, and now with the situation reversed, treat me
fairly well.
From North Korea
Dear North Balhae:
Choson sends your regards. Choson is trying to improve his relations to you. You know, the Dear Leader Kim Jong Il once visited some of your cities. And it
was good. The problem is that the Dear Leader tries to evade reforms. The Democratic People's Republic need economic reforms like China and Vietnam. And very
well, comrade, your Manchu Han Imperial Feast is good. I have never seen these kind of food for years, not since I had to eat damned grass for dinner!
Manse to you!
Sincerely,
The Democratic People's Republic of Korea.
Dear Choson:
First of all, don't call me North Balhae. Remember you are my little brother along with the South. When I was powerful I protected you from the worst habits
of Japan and China while both of you are bickering about how your house is to be run. It was ruinous to both of you.
And yes! The Manchu Han Imperial Feast is good! Problem is that many of the meat are from endangered species. Unless we could find a way to mass clone them
in the future, I think ersatz dish is enough.
Sincerely,
Manchuria
From Outer Mongolia
Dear Manzh,
I heard you and my sister Inner Mongolia are not doing well. Too bad, she was blamed for that spoiled milk scandal. I bet China added melamine to the milk!
That annoying bastard! And I heard there are rioters there, too! Are you aware that China only uses you, like what happened to my sister, Tibet, and
Uyghuristan?
And I had to stop by at KFC. At least Alfred's cultural imperialism is for the good.
Sincerely,
Mongol Ulus
Dear Mongolia:
Oh yeah, I heard about that ruckus with Inner Mongolia. China is annoying me and hitting me with his wok! Why he had a double standard? They should give the
poor regions and me autonomy that Hong Kong and Macau had! Their economy is good, they are almost independent countries to boot!
And Russia, he's trying to steal land from me again. Damn that old Treaty of Amur River!
Well, I suggest you practice more writing your language in your own script rather than the one Russia gave you. It's like me in my case. I barely use my
native language anymore.
Sincerely yours,
Manchuria
From South Korea
Dear Manchuria,
I have created a new soap opera for you, ze! It's about your country's fall from grace from Japan-san!
And how's life? I heard that your are annoyed by the song Sorry Sorry by Super Junior. What's the problem, ze!
And by the way, you are concerned with my dispute with my brother. I bet you call elder brother China to restrain my brother. I wanted a smooth reunification
, ze, not the one Vietnam and Cochinchina, and Germany and Prussia encountered.
See you in Pyeongchang! And I am waiting in the call centers!
Sincerely yours,
The Republic of Korea
Dear Dae Han,
Please, I like your soap operas and Arirang TV, but don't shove it on me.
And I hope you lose to Bavaria in the Winter Olympics. You are too arrogant for your own good, my little brother!
And I understand the risk if you and your brother have reunited in one house. I could help you, but the rest are in you and your brother's hands alone.
And wait, when is KARA performing next in Shenyang? Or in Harbin instead! I love their voice I cosplayed as them once!
Sincerely yours,
Manchuria
From Tibet
Dear Manchuria:
It's Tibet, the one without hair and confused for Aang. I am tired of my status as an 'autonomous region'. China is repressing me again! I tried a fast to
protest this but I dehydrated and be fed intravenously.
But life as a mountain guide is good. What's up for you? Are you enjoying the joys of a skiing instructor?
Sincerely yours,
Bod
Dear baldie, eh-eh, Tibet:
Hah. I am losing patience with China. Just like you. He claims he is the Middle Kingdom and the world revolves on his butt.
Wow. I wanted to visit Mt. Everest again. It's pristine, but then, those Western tourists throw garbage as though the world is a huge garbage dump. Curse
them, haha.
I suggest you buy a wig. Your skinhead appearance makes you too conspicious. Besides, according to Russia, this is a sign you are a Nazi, and you kicked out
Nazis a from your house a long time ago.
And tourism for you brings cash. Don't mope around with the 'overcommercialization' stuff and that.
Sincerely yours,
Manchuria
From Taiwan
Dear Manchuria:
Manchuria, stop hanging around with China. In fact, I am the real China. And I barely forgive you for trying to crush me during Koxinga's revolt.
I think you should become a betelnut vendor. You have the looks, right? It's just you get rid of that scar and go to a plastic surgeon or so.
Sincerely yours,
Taiwan or the Republic of China
Dear Taiwan:
Please, that episode with Koxinga is a long time ago! We're supposed to be at peace. And I am tired of hanging around with China.
And no, I am not going to a plastic surgeon. These remind me of what happened to me during the Second World War. And I eat bean cake, not betelnut. But can I
borrow your costumes to impress China and Japan? They have voracious sexual appetites.
Sincerely yours,
Manchuria
From Hong Kong:
Dear Manchuria:
What are you doing?
Sincerely yours,
Hong Kong
Dear Hong Kong:
Is that all you write? Well, for starters, you need to improve the standard of your Gundam models. Japan is suing you again.
Sincerely yours,
Manchuria
From Macau
Dear Manchuria:
Can we play mahjong these days? I also becoming a tourist destination these days, and since I learned a lot from Monaco, I had a good and thriving economy. But please don't lump me with Hong Kong. We're two different creatures, little amui.
Sincerely yours,
Macau
Dear Macau,
I'm sorry for lumping you with Hong Kong. I nearly forgot you have a separate currency called the pataca. Why tourists always pay their bills in Hong Kong dollars, I wonder?
Sincerely yours,
Manchuria
From Vietnam
Dear Manchuria,
How long since we last met? I am sorry for the ruckus you and China suffered through me. The Paracel Islands is always been mine and mine alone. And I want to visit you in the winter. I am longing for a nice winter vacation. And we switch places, can you?
Sincerely yours,
Vietnam
Dear Kinh,
I had little time, but if the Asian gang wants it, then we will!
I understand China's motives, but then he gets into trouble with Taiwan, Japan, Korea, and the Philippines, too. I had to follow the idiot, though.
Until the next time!
Sincerely yours,
Manchuria
From Thailand
Manchuria:
I had been entering this beauty pageant organized by the Philippines, and I love to be a woman for a while! Many countries consider me as gay or an idiot but they have double standards, do they?
And please hang out with my brother Laos on the Mekong. He wants a jungle trip along with you.
Sincerely,
Thailand
P.S. And please support me in the temple dispute. I am the one that built that time, not Cambodia! He has already Angkor, probably he's trying to copy my tactics to garner more tourists.
Thailand:
Stop becoming a crossdresser. You creep out many people, especially your neighbors in ASEAN. And I don't want to be involved with your feud with Thailand.
And thanks for you still remembered me. I thought you forgot me after the war as Manchukuo. Well, the past is past and we had to move on, aren't we?
Sincerely yours,
Manchuria
And so ends the first chapter. The next chapter, dealing with Italy, will come sooner or later.