12 Ways to Woo a Witch
Homelife
AN ~ Right, this is my first long fanfiction and as seems tradition, I'm starting late at night . Warning: this is pure Harmony, (with interferences from Ginny the FANGIRL of course) all the way. Don't like, don't read. It would be a waste of time.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own Harry Potter or have the power of Legilimency or else Harry would not have ended up with the fan-girl and Hermione would not have wasted her time on a halfwit. If you hadn't guessed, this contains Ginny bashing, but I decided to be nice to Ron this time. Mostly.
(P.S., in my world, some very important people didn't die. )
Harry Potter was busy cleaning. Again. It had been nearly a year since the end of the war, and yet Grimmald Place was still a mess. The summer before his fifth year at Hogwarts had only scratched at the surface. Now with Remus (godfather), Tonks (recent godmother), his own godson Teddy (apparently loving blue candyfloss hair at the moment) and his original godfather Sirius living there, the ancient Black house needed to become habitable again. Not to mention baby proofing, both magic and Muggle. However, they were on the home stretch as Harry, with great relief, took the last box of the junk in his room and began to sort through it.
As the wizard radio hummed in the background, anyone with any sense would see that Harry was not the same boy as most people knew him before the War. On the outside he hadn't changed much, aside from growing those last few inches (though not enough to catch up to Ron), but from the inside he was almost unrecognisable. Over the past year and half, he had become a man in every sense of the world. While still being able to enjoy childish fun with his friends and family, he knew he could not remain that way forever. The War had left many scars, both on his soul and his body.
However, he did not despair too much. His best friends Ron and Hermione, having been through much of the same things as him, had helped each other heal their wounds. Harry smiled to himself as he tossed several broken something-or-others into a box to bin, as he thought of Luna Lovegood. The trio had stayed at the Burrow for a while, getting ready for the trip to Australia to revive Hermione's parents. 'Loony' Luna had walked several miles from her house to Ron's to 'visit' but you could never tell what was hidden in that beautifully barmy head of hers. Over the few weeks at the Burrow, Ron and Luna had become closer and closer and eventually had decided to make a go of it, even with Luna returning to school soon. Having, for once, talked things over with Hermione maturely, they had both agreed that without the threat of death hanging over their heads, there really was no reason for them to be together. Before, it had merely been desperation to not be alone when it ended, and now it wasn't ending at all. In the end all four of them decided with the recent media attack on the Burrow, that it would be a welcome break to escape to Australia.
Harry glanced over a wall, entirely dedicated to photographs. Hermione had charmed it so that you could place a photo of any kind and it would meld to the wall seamlessly, the edges blending in with the wall behind it. He smiled as he saw some of the photographs taken on the flight over. Ron as well as Harry was eager to try the Muggle transport, and Luna and Hermione agreed that it would make them less inconspicuous.
There was one with the diminutive Luna curled up on the expanse of Ron's chest, with one of his arms engulfing her as she read. Occasionally, Luna would look up from the book she was reading and gaze up lovingly at Ron as he slept. There was also one of Hermione and Harry attempting the balance multiple objects on both of them whilst they slept, having asked a humoured fellow passenger to take a picture with the enchanted Muggle camera.
Harry looked down as he came to the end of the junk. At the bottom, rested a very dusty book. He was about to throw it away when it remember Hermione's scalding remark last time she saw him do it.
"Harry. What. Are. You. Doing?" Her chilling tone made Ron, Luna and Harry freeze in their individual chores.
"Er…" Harry had the expression of a deer caught in the headlights and it took all of Ron and Luna's willpower not to laugh.
"That most likely belongs in the Black library! At least check what it is before recklessly throwing it away!" She sighed in exasperation. Having been put in charge by Sirius to be in charge of the books in the clean-up, Hermione had taken her job very seriously. Harry hastily dusted off the cover and nervously read out,
"Crumple-Horned Snorkacks of West Wales and their Breeding Behavior." It was a large volume for such an obscure subject. He looked up to Hermione to see her brows furrowed at what to do, with what she believed, a book of nonsense. Her face cleared and she turned to Luna.
"Would you like it Luna? I'm sure it would be useful to add to your collection." Luna smiled, and Harry handed it too her, still looking at Hermione with a slight fearfulness. Hermione saw his face and snorted loudly before doubling up. Ron and Luna soon joined her while Harry smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his now pink neck. Between gasps for air, Hermione gasped,
"I haven't seen you… that scared of me since…since I gave you that mushroom soup back in the tent!"
"Hey, I didn't know what was in it! You could have mistaken a deathcap for a, a, chestnut cup or something…" He didn't know if these were mushrooms at all but they sounded about right. With the three unlikely to stop laughing any time soon he took his revenge by enchanting the huge bag of dust and rubbish to burst over them all. In the end the room they were tidying looked worse than before and when Sirius came to inspect it, he found them all panting on the floor covered in dirt. He merely raised a suggestive eyebrow and said,
"Well you have been busy."
Harry shook his head with a grin and dutifully dusted the book off only to find the book Ron had given him for his seventeenth birthday; 12 Fail Safe Ways to Charm Witches lay in Harry's lap. He had always thought it had been a prank present but after seeing Ron attempt to use some of its techniques on Hermione he had realised it was merely Ron's ignorance about girls that had prompted him to buy it. Thinking it could be a funny thing to read sometime he stood and tucked it in the secret cupboard behind a small painting. There wasn't much in there. Just a dead snitch, a secret stash of chocolate (for Hermione's 'bad days' where they would curl up on his bed and Harry would endure chick flick movies that never seemed to fail to make Hermione cry at the end, if she was still awake) and now this book.
He closed the painting, and turned to his reflection of a mirror mounted on the back of his door. His emerald eyes were almost hidden by his now filthy glasses and his hair flopped over his forehead, covering his now barely visible scar. An old Quidditch top clung to his chiseled torso, now speckled with dirt and sweat. His ripped jeans added to not-so-pretty sight. He shrugged at himself; he'd take a shower after he got rid of the last of the junk. He flicked his wand at the rubbish and banished it down to the bins in the back garden. As Kreacher was verging on beyond ancient, they had all agreed to do a little more around the big house. The elf hadn't seemed to mind too much. Harry was just about to strip off and head off to his ensuite bathroom, when he heard a grumble from next door. He sighed with little irritation and decided to just scourgify his clothes for now, before heading next door, to get his little godson from his nap. Harry peeked around Teddy's door to see the toddler standing up and attempting to climb out of the cot. Teddy was a year and a half old now and pushing the boundaries at every opportunity.
"Teddy," He said softly but warningly. Teddy stopped what he was doing and looked up to see Harry frowning at him. He held out his arms to be picked up but this caused him to lose his balance and fall forwards, out of his cot. With gasp, Harry's quick Seeker skills allowed him to quickly dive forward as a little wandless magic to catch him before he hit the ground. He knelt on the floor and sighed in relief before he saw Teddy's eyes fill with tears.
"Hey, you're okay Ted. It was just a bit of shock wasn't it?" Harry stood, gently bouncing the child in his arms before briefly kissing his forehead. He had quickly learnt from Tonks and Remus that it wasn't very often that Teddy really hurt himself, it was just shock, and that smiling, laughing and quick brush down was all he needed to be up and playing again.
It paid off too as Teddy was soon smiling and talking his baby nonsense words with an occasionally 'duck' thrown in.
"Okay mate, lets get you something to eat and drink and maybe we can go feed the ducks."
Harry adored having Teddy around and never minded babysitting for Remus and Tonks if they wanted to go out for an evening. Together, they trumpeted down the stairs, Teddy's laughter ringing dangerously close to Harry's ear.
"Hey guys, you're just in time for some lunch." Sirius said warmly as he charmed some bowls and cups to march themselves out of their cupboards and out onto the table. Harry strapped Teddy to his chair, tapping his wand to the miniature solar system that entertained him while they set up the rest of food.
"Finished up there?" Sirius asked as they sat down to a selection of fruit and sandwiches. It was quick finger food that Teddy could easily eat himself without much assistance. Harry swallowed his orange slice, wiping his mouth.
"Yeah, all done. Can't believe how long it took. Would have took a shower too if this little blue monster hasn't woken up." He said jokingly, referring to Teddy's favourite candyfloss like blue hair he seemed to favour as a Metamorphmagus, similar to his mum's bubblegum pink. Luckily, so far, none of Remus's more 'animalistic' traits had shown through aside from slightly sharper canines, a real pain during his teething.
"Well, you shouldn't have gotten so distracted," Sirius said with a laugh. "You enjoy the company of a toddler who can't speak far too much than a young man should."
"Are you saying you'd prefer me to take after you and dad's ways of going out to seduce young witches?" Harry grinned mischievously, throwing a small piece of his orange over to Teddy, who had already finished his grapes and jam sandwich.
"You wouldn't have the guts." Sirius said, an evil glint shining in his black eyes. It was well known that between the two men, they were very competitive and often challenged each other in casual alpha male way. Everyone normally watched them around the dinner table, often after Teddy had gone to bed, as they would throw banter at each other, with others chipping in to add fire to the fuel to see what explosions they could make. They both always took the bait. Much like Harry was about to.
"What do you mean by that?" Harry rose to the challenge quickly.
"Not much, aside from the little practise you've had with distractions like Cho or Ginny over the past couple of years means you wouldn't have any luck in a real man's world." Harry imagined that at that moment, Sirius's face looked much like the Devil's would have, 'temptation incarnate' and Remus would have put it.
"How do you know that hasn't been anyone else?" Harry said it with as much conviction as he could; it wasn't exactly true of course, but this was much a game like poker, all you needed was a good bluff. Sirius looked momentarily stumped for a minute before he played his secret ace.
"Because you and I both know you're in love with Hermione."
AN ~ Woah, that came out of nowhere. Just from writing this I've already changed a lot of the plot, hopefully for the best. Read and enjoy and feel free to review. USEFUL criticism would be useful, I'm not sure if my laptop has changed any of the words to the United States dictionary. Grr, I've changed it so many times to United Kingdom, BUT IT KEEPS CHANGING!
Sorry, if Teddy was in it too much for you guys, I just wanted to make sure you knew that my Harry in this story is very close to him, he won't be it quite so much. I promise there will be fluff, I'm so sure about lemon yet, I haven't tried the citrus fruit yet ;)
Harry will also not be all angsty in this because I want him to be happy; he hasn't had a happy life as all Potterheads know. Right, its 1:30am, I need to sleep now.
~ From xGSGx with love