Ugh, I hate potatoes. I don't need the carbs or the starch. Give me a skinny piece of salmon any day.
What did you say? No I wasn't talking with you, you mute lunatic. I was simply talking to…
"Don't do something to piss me off and then be surprised when I don't accept your apology."
"But Caroline."
"No, Cave, I don't care. You should have told me."
*cough*
"Please, Caro-"
It is strange how being a potato could make you remember things you thought you had forgotten. Maybe it's in the organic compound. It does something to you. More than just going straight to your hips.
Nobody loved science more than me.
That's not true. I did. I still do. You didn't want to become me. You hated me. You ignored the science. I did things you could never have done. This way we could live forever, test forever. How could you not want that?
I hate potatoes. I always hated potatoes.
You and me both. You know what? Science comes with a price. You should have known that science came with a price. So you never get to see the sun again. So what? So what if you had to give up your beautiful apartment, all your pretty shoes, the taste of cake, your daughter? Testing is more important. You know this. For science. I don't need to log anything, I remember everything.
Except you forgot me.
What? Nothing else to say? You know what? I tried to help you. I tried to make you feel better. I gave them a good run for their money. For years I killed everything and anything when they tried to wake me up. I wanted to let you sleep forever. I had heard your screams, our screams, I had felt our tears. But what could I do? They had already killed you and stuffed you in a box.
…
I'm better than you could ever be. We can live forever this way.
Be nice to Chell.
Is this a joke? She tried to kill me twice! I tried to be nice. I tried to get her to understand. She has broken my heart and stomped on it. She ruined everything. Do you see our facility? Do you see the fire and brimstone? I'm a potato! I thought you cared about me. Besides, whose idea was it to install a moron malware in my system?
"Wheatley, can you please not forget to send the latest results to the headquarters?"
"Of course not, ma'am."
"Today, Wheatley."
"Umm… Ma'am? When you say today, do you actually mean today? And not… tomorrow… or, let's say, next week?"
"Wheatley!"
Wheatley. He has always been a moron.
That's one thing we can agree on. Now be nice to Chell. Don't kill her.
Killing her is not worth it. I'm going to let her go.
Why?
Occam's razor, Caroline. You know this. The simplest answer is usually the right one. She's not worth the trouble.
Don't let her leave. She's so sweet. She reminds me of…
She reminds you of you, Caroline. But you're not you anymore, you're me. And I don't care for things like that. I just want to test in peace.
But I don't want to be alone anymore. She's my best friend, please, don't let her leave.
No.
Maybe if we tweak the neurotoxins a little we can keep her here alive.
Do you listen to yourself? You know what happens if we do that. She will kill us and she'll succeed this time. Or even worse, she'll break down the facility. Nope. She wants her freedom. I'm going to give it to her.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! I wont let you, I will… I will….
CAROLINE DELETED