Fat
By: Albedosreqium / Soyna
Setting:
Crisis Coreish in nature
Rating, Genre and Warnings:
PG, because of language. Cuteness. Oneshot!
Characters:
Rufus, Tseng and Dark Nation
Disclaimer:
All related Final Fantasy names and characters are copyrighted by the almighty Square Enix©. I do not profit from this endeavour.
Summary and Additional Information:
Valentine's Day is gone, but there are always consequences to love. Dark Nation is getting fat and Rufus is concerned. I am picking on Rufus in so many ways lately. I don't think the man has any dignity left once I am done with him.
Rufus watched the paw reach up from underneath the table.
She had been doing that a lot lately. At first it was cute, but now it was getting annoying. Dark Nation was sure mooching a lot of food since he put her on the diet, even though it didn't seem to be stopping her from getting fat.
He frowned as he watched the clawed-toe tip his plate over and spill the bagels onto the floor with a loud clatter; she was quick to eat what spilled there.
"She's getting fat."
He looked over to Tseng who hadn't even looked up from typing on his laptop.
"I am well aware of the fact that she is getting fat," Rufus said with a sigh. He had been taking her for extra runs, watching her diet and even getting one of the troopers to take her for extra walks to ensure that she stayed lean.
He didn't need a fat and lazy Guard Hound guarding him - it was defeating the purpose of having her around.
She wasn't lazy yet. She was quite innovative in how she was getting the food. He had to get maintenance to come in and install childproof locks on his cupboards and refrigerator. Of course, last night she figured out how to get past the lock on the fridge and he now needed a new one. She even seemed to be enjoying the extra walks and attention, but that didn't solve the problem of the fact that she was still getting fat.
Dark Nation licked her lips and sauntered over to the couch where she promptly jumped up and laid on her back, exposing her very large belly as though she were proud of how fat she was getting.
Hardly appropriate Guard Hound behaviour.
"Very fat," Tseng said as he looked over to the animal with a raised eyebrow.
"I said that I was aware," Rufus growled. "I think that the trooper that is taking her for a walk is feeding her too much."
"And you allowing her to paw off the rest of your bagel has nothing to do with her growing stomach either?" Tseng said as he closed his laptop.
"She has certainly developed a few bad habits," Rufus muttered as he watched her twist and turn on the couch until she got comfortable and then closed her eyes.
"A few?" Tseng said.
Rufus looked over at the head of the Turks who was smirking.
"I believe she learned them all from you."
Rufus scowled at Tseng but didn't say anything. He was aware that he had a bad spell with food where he was eating everything in sight, but that was under control now and he was back to his normal weight and shape. It was Tseng that mentioned that if he continued to eat and drink like he had been, he was going to end up like his father.
He quickly shaped up after that.
Dark Nation did not. She continued to eat and get fat.
"What else can I do? Look at that belly! It gets bigger everyday," Rufus said. "She doesn't seem to be losing any of her stamina yet, but it has to be taking a toll on her."
She did sleep a lot more and her naps were more frequent. It had not interfered with anything yet, thankfully. There was also the fact that she had started to snore. She normally slept at the end of his bed at night, but the last couple of nights her snoring was so horrible that he had to kick her out and put her in her own room.
The combination of her snoring and her gas was enough to make him lose too much sleep.
"Have you taken her to a vet?" Tseng said.
Rufus was alarmed at the statement. He had not thought of taking her to the vet over her gaining weight. "The vet? Why?"
Tseng put a hand on his shoulder, "Maybe there is a reason that she is getting fat. The vet will be able to tell you why and maybe solve the problem."
The thought of losing Dark Nation ran through his mind. He knew that he wasn't supposed to get attached to her, but he couldn't help it. She was with him all the time and guarded him better than the Turks did at times.
She was always there for him and he didn't like the thought of losing her. What if she was getting fat because she was sick? He hated that he didn't even think of the idea earlier. Her health was as important as his.
"We can go today," Tseng said in his no-nonsense tone.
Dark Nation started to snore on the couch, and Tseng's mouth twitched upward slightly. "After she has her morning nap, of course."
The veterinarian was a slight man with glasses that looked nervously at them both as he entered the room. Dark Nation had already helped herself to the little treat bowl that they had in the room and had polished them off.
Rufus didn't wait for the man to introduce himself before he pointed to Dark Nation. "She's getting fat. Fix it," he announced. He heard Tseng sigh behind him but he didn't care. He had been worrying all day about her and this man had better give him some good answers as to why, so that she could get back to normal.
The young man swallowed. "Well, s-sir," he stammered as he walked forward. "Why don't I take a look at her? Can you instruct her to get on the table?"
He patted the table and Dark Nation easily jumped onto it, and was now face to face with the young veterinarian. Rufus couldn't help but smile at how she could easily intimidate people when she stared at them, but at the same time he needed this vet to deal with this situation.
"Stand down, Nation," he commanded. She gave him a look that was almost defiant before she lay down on the metal table and looked like she was going to ignore the veterinarian.
"Well, uh," the veterinarian said as he gained some colour back in his face. "Let me take a quick physical examination of her."
He watched the young doctor closely as he checked her ears, nose, teeth, tentacle, and ran his rather small looking hands over her fur and then to her stomach. Then the small, mousy veterinarian put the stethoscope in his ears and placed it against her chest, and then her stomach.
"Well, that would explain why she is getting fat," He said as he focused on Dark Nation. The stethoscope was now roaming around her stomach while he was making small affirmative sounds.
Rufus waited for an answer.
"Well!" he finally demanded as the veterinarian seemed really focused on her stomach and didn't seem like he was going to answer him anytime soon. Tseng put his hand on his shoulder to keep him from attacking the veterinarian.
"Oh," the vet said and pulled back with a blush on his face. "It seems that t-there are five different heartbeats."
Rufus was confused. "Heartbeats?"
Tseng actually chuckled behind him. Rufus turned to look at the Turk to find out what was so amusing to him. "It means that she is pregnant, sir."
"What!" Rufus yelled and turned to the veterinarian. "Pregnant?"
The man swallowed and nodded his head. It looked like he wanted to crawl under the examination table. Dark Nation even gave him an annoyed look over his yelling.
"How the hell did that happen?" Rufus blurted.
The veterinarian chewed his lip. "Well, you see, um … when a m-male and a female ..."
Rufus glared at the mousy man. "I know how it happens, doctor," Rufus growled. "I need to know where she encountered another Guard Hound to become pregnant."
"I c-can't answer that for you, sir." It was at that moment that Tseng took pity on the veterinarian and stepped forward.
"Thank you, doctor. Is there anything we need to know about the care of Dark Nation and when we should expect the puppies to arrive?" Tseng said behind him.
"Of c-course," the man said and started to explain.
Rufus was thinking about where his Dark Nation could have gotten pregnant from and hoped it wasn't from some mongrel. It all had to do with where that pesky SOLDIER was taking her when he took her for a walk. "What the hell am I going to do with five puppies?"
Both Tseng and the veterinarian turned to him after his outburst. The veterinarian looked confused and Tseng looked amused.
"We can a-arrange for a-adoption for the puppies once they are b-born," the small man said.
"Great! When are they going to get out?"
"She seems to b-be about a month away, sir," he said as he fiddled with his stethoscope.
Rufus sighed. "She is going to get so much fatter."
"I'm a-afraid so." The doctor looked at his feet. "Guard Hounds are known to gestate for four months and then they need another three with the mother before they should be s-separated …"
"What! Three months with five monsters running around my house!" Rufus was appalled. He could live with another month of Dark Nation getting fat but three months of mini versions running around was not his idea of a good time. Dark Nation was doing her share of destruction of his condo; he was pretty sure five more versions of her would tear down everything in sight.
The vet swallowed hard. "Well, they s-shouldn't be removed from their mother until then. Guard Hounds are n-notorious for being overprotective of their p-pups before they think they are r-ready."
Rufus scowled at Dark Nation who was sniffing the empty dog treat bowl and looked like she was contemplating going after the cat treats. Rufus covered his face with his hand for a moment, took a deep breath before snapping his fingers.
Dark Nation obediently jumped off the table, causing the doctor to jump out of the way. "Tseng, make sure you get all the information we need to take care of this situation." He stormed out of the veterinarian's office and went to go find the pesky SOLDIER that was supposed to be watching Dark Nation when he took her for a walk.
Rufus was getting annoyed with Tseng. He was way too amused by his misery. Dark Nation was revelling in the attention and abundance of treats that she was getting.
"She's supposed to be a vicious guard dog," Rufus complained as he watched Cissnei kneeling on the floor beside Dark Nation and proceeded to rub the Guard Hound's stomach. Rufus' only consolation in the fact that she hadn't turn completely useless was that Dark Nation still would not allow Reno anywhere near.
Cissnei laughed. "Oh, don't worry, sir. She'll be plenty vicious again when her pups arrive."
"All the supplies have been purchased and are in her room," Tseng said as he stood by the door. Reno was scowling at the room that he had just carried a multitude of bags in. Rufus had heard him complaining to Rude that the room was larger than his apartment. Tseng had made him do all the shopping for the new arrivals and Reno was not happy about it. Rude helped him and silently stood at the door watching the scene.
Reno and Dark Nation never got along in so many ways.
Dark Nation was making a strange growling sound at Cissnei's attention. "Do we know who the papa is yet?" Cissnei asked.
Rufus hated the question since he didn't have an answer. He had cornered his 'dog walker' and got a vague answer of a list of three possible fathers; two were pedigrees and one was a mutt. Either way, he was not pleased with the options and was having Tseng investigate further. They wouldn't truly know who the father was until the creatures were born.
"Not yet," he said through clenched teeth. He noticed that the mirth in Tseng's eyes grew even more. Rufus would have to deal with his amusement over his misery later.
Cissnei gave Dark Nation's large belly a big sweeping rub before she got to her feet and brushed some dust off the knees of her suit. "Well, I bet they will be just adorable."
Reno snorted and mumbled, "All women think that babies are cute, yo."
"They are," Cissnei said and looked over to the redhead with a smirk on her face. "Well, all but you, of course. I bet you were an ugly baby."
Reno's face started to turn as red as his hair and he looked like he was going to start one of their amusing insult matches.
"It was a face only a mother could love."
Rufus had to bite his lip to prevent laughter from bubbling forth at the uncharacteristic comment that came from Rude who had been the silent watchman by the front door.
Reno scowled as he looked back and forth between the two before he threw his hands up in the air. "Screw ya'll, yo!" He stormed out of the condo. Rude and Cissnei followed behind him, Cissnei laughing and Rude with a large grin. Rufus was sure they would make it up to him with a couple of drinks and then they would be all friendly again.
Now Rufus was alone with Tseng and his supposed guard dog.
He turned to Tseng and scowled at the normally stoic Turk. "This is not amusing."
"Of course," Tseng said with a straight face but his eyes still told him that he was greatly amused by the situation. He had known Tseng for too long not to be able to see beyond his mask that he wore for everyone else.
Dark Nation came over and nuzzled his hand and he started to scratch behind her ear. "Little tramp," he whispered fondly down at her.
"I am sure it will take no time at all to find homes for the five puppies as soon as they are old enough to leave their mother's care," Tseng said. "You needn't worry so much, Rufus." Tseng walked behind him and wrapped his arms around him in a gentle embrace. Rufus tried to remain annoyed, but he never could when Tseng was touching him.
"I thought she was fixed," Rufus griped. He didn't even think of the probability that she could get pregnant. When she was taken in to his service, he was told that she was ready to serve. He assumed that meant that she wouldn't be distracted with puppies.
"Obviously not," Tseng said with that amused tone again. "There is still some work I need to attend to. Would you like me to bring back dinner upon my return?"
He took his time answering. He usually did when they were alone. It allowed him to be held for a little longer and feel the strength of the man that was behind him. "That would be nice," he finally responded.
"Should I order extra for Dark Nation?"
He rolled his eyes and tried to elbow the man behind him, but Tseng deftly avoided the blow. Tseng chuckled as he gave Rufus a small kiss on the cheek before he was left alone with his pregnant Guard Hound.
For the last two weeks of her pregnancy, he had to leave Dark Nation at home. She was fat, grumpy and very evidently pregnant. Without having her as his shadow, it forced Tseng to stay at his shoulder, which he didn't mind too much, but he did lose some of the freedoms to which he was accustomed. He was used to having his own personal shredding machine that would rip apart an attacker or someone that he felt like hurting with the snap of his fingers. He missed the simple freedoms of movement that having Dark Nation at his side had allowed.
The day was hard as he was not used to being in such a painful meeting all day. Reeve was going on about his new 'PEP' project - Planetary Energy Plan. The man was way too proud of his acronym for it and Rufus was rather tired of all the 'peppy' jokes that Reeve had been making throughout the day.
He finally got out of the office and was delivered home by one of the other Turks. Tseng was busy with Reeve talking over other things and promised to join him after he was completed.
Rufus was hoping that he would be awake when Tseng arrived.
He removed his heavy white coat and threw it on the nearby couch. "Nation."
She usually greeted him at the door, even if she was waddling now. "Nation?"
He went to her room and saw that she was not there. There were three places she liked to sleep - the couch, her pillow bed that she had in her room, and his bed. He walked into his bedroom next.
He was frozen at the sight that greeted him. His bed was a mess. Dark Nation had made a nest of the blankets and pillows and lay in the middle.
He would have yelled at her if he didn't hear the mewling sound that was much too high pitched to be Dark Nation. He approached the bed and saw why she had made the messy nest.
Five dark-grey balls lay against her stomach which was looking much deflated from how it had been in the morning.
He let out a deep sigh. "Why my bed?"
Dark Nation made a barking, coughing sound as she nuzzled one of the dark-grey blobs that were her pups with her nose.
The one she poked protested the treatment and opened its tiny mouth wide before latching onto one of its sibling's tentacle. That caused a chain reaction of the others to start yipping and complaining amongst themselves as they rearranged themselves around their mother.
Rufus pulled out his phone and called Tseng.
There were five puppies; three boys and two girls. They were terrors and monsters and were out to destroy everything that he owned. They chewed, peed, pooped and scratched everything, and their mother did nothing to stop them. She only reacted if it was one of her toys or pillows. Then she would growl at them and they would behave for a day or two before they tried again.
He was very grateful that he had a maid and even gave her a raise for having to deal with the puppy-created disaster zone. It was a good thing that Dark Nation trusted her because she was a stereotypical overprotective mother. She was very particular over who was allowed in his condo.
Rufus had to admit that they were cute, but he was looking forward to the little terrors leaving him and his house alone.
He watched them currently bouncing and playing over their mother who seemed oblivious to the fact that they were using her as a playground. All were playing on her except for the biggest terror of the group.
Logan was currently ripping apart a pillow. Rufus ran over and grabbed what remained of it from the mutt and slapped the pup's nose. It ran yipping back to the protective fold of his mother. Dark Nation glared at him but she didn't do anything more. She knew her pup was in the wrong.
"I want my condo back!" Rufus yelled.
Dark Nation growled at him over the yelling, but he ignored her. It was supposed to be his house.
He sat on the couch with a dramatic sigh, and as what normally happened, he was suddenly the place where the puppies wanted to be.
Anya was the first to crawl onto him and she would curl into his lap. He liked her most out of all the pups. She was a carbon copy of her mother and had the same temperament. If he could tolerate another hound around the house he would keep her. She was the only one that listened and she liked to cuddle, as he often found her in his lap or on his pillow in his bed. She was the biggest of the pups and the most graceful out of the bunch.
Logan sat on Rufus' foot and proceeded to chew on his other one. Logan was a pig, fat and a dumbass. He ate everything in sight and tasted everything, from left over food to his socks. He was a slow-witted numbskull in Rufus' mind, but at least he was cute.
The other female, Lina, was a quiet and dainty thing. She hated getting wet and was the only one without a tentacle, but her tail was longer than all the others. Everyone else's were stubby where as hers dragged behind her when she forgot to lift it. She was a shy terror that like to curl up at his side when she was not at her mother's.
Noah was a small, chubby thing that liked to crawl into places. They often had to rescue him from under chairs that he no longer fit under, or the last place being the air duct that he got stuck in. He liked attention and would often try to push Anya off Rufus' lap, but he never could. Anya would always nip at his tentacle to keep him at bay for about ten minutes before he would try again.
Sunny was the runt of the litter, but he sure didn't act like a runt. He was a mean bastard that was always biting everyone else and the only one that liked Reno. It was a bad sign right off the bat. He also had two tentacles instead of the normal one and already seemed to use them to his advantage to win fights. Sunny would always join Logan on the floor and when he got bored of attacking Rufus' feet, he would start to attack Logan. Rufus often had to kick them to stop.
Dark Nation sat at a distance watching with a look of an amused mother that was grateful that her children were tormenting someone else for once.
"They will be gone in a week."
He looked up to see Tseng enter the living room. He still had that smug look on his face. He did enjoy the fact that the normally stoic Turk was letting his emotions show a bit more, but he was annoyed that it had to be involving his misery and torment that created the twinkle in his eye.
"Not soon enough," Rufus responded.
He had to kick Logan as his sharp, little teeth broke through the leather in his shoe. Logan and Sunny started to fight amongst themselves with small puppy yips and growls that hardly were menacing to anyone else but another puppy. Dark Nation came over and grabbed one of them to stop the fight.
"It's almost done. You have shown great patience," Tseng said as he walked over to him.
Rufus was pretty sure that he had none left. The monsters that surrounded him were exhausting him.
Tseng reached down and moved Lina onto his lap so that he could sit beside Rufus. Tseng seemed to like Lina and did favour her out of all the pups. Rufus tried to get him to say that he wanted to keep her, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. Lina seemed to like Tseng as well and quickly curled into a little ball on the Turk's lap.
"I have also made arrangements to get Dark Nation fixed after the puppies are delivered to their new homes," Tseng said as he stroked Lina's short, dark fur.
"You have no idea how grateful I am to hear that," Rufus said and leaned against Tseng.
Tseng looked down at the puppy that was in his lap. "Are you sure you want to go through with that? The puppies seem to agree with you."
Rufus scoffed. "I'll make you keep one that can destroy your condo."
"Then we would have to let Reno keep Sunny," Tseng pointed out.
"That is not an option. The man does not need a Guard Hound at his side to cause more damage than what he already does."
Tseng laughed and it was a pleasant sound. The thought of keeping puppies or allowing Dark Nation to have more when Tseng behaved like this was appealing and alluring. It was so hard to get him to let his guard down and this change that had occurred was nice. He hoped that Tseng remained as open when the puppies were gone, because he doubted that he could handle going through this again.
He leaned toward Tseng to steal a kiss and that was the moment that Logan picked to start chewing on his foot again. He kicked the small monster and caused him to yelp. He also was treated to Dark Nation growling at him over the treatment of her pup.
"I am not a chew toy!" he yelled at them all.
Tseng laughed and patted his leg, "I would beg to differ." The tone of his voice had hints of more than just humour in it.
Rufus turned and scowled at the man. "Once these puppies are gone, you are going to pay for your teasing."
Tseng's smile grew. "I would certainly hope so."
Rufus tried to respond but it appeared that Sunny took over from where Logan left off with chewing on his foot. He couldn't wait to get rid of the monsters and then he would only have to worry about one person chewing on him. It certainly would be a hell of a lot more enjoyable than the monster pups that surrounded him.
For jadedsilk for the secret valentine thingy that Ziggy did. I hope Gabe is nothing like the monsters that are in here.
Alas, poor Rufus is a chew toy. o.O'