Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto.
Author's Note: Well, I wrote another songfic during school. Someone save me from them! Anyway this is basically a sequel to Against All Odds, but the more cynical ending of that story ever. If you didn't know there were two endings, reread the last line before the last song lyric a few times. It can be taken two ways. This is the way I don't like personally.
Song: "I'd Kill To Fall Asleep" by New Found Glory
"Eyes are open, I'm wide awake, I feel I'm in a coma state."
Hinata rolled over running the last few days in her head, then the last few years. Her life had changed so drastically in such a short time.
In the three years since she finally revealed her feelings for Naruto they had become engaged. And in the month since they had become engaged Naruto had left for Sasuke again. Now in the few hours since Naruto left, she had cried her eyes dry, and sobbed herself hoarse. She missed him more than anything and was unsure if he would return.
"I lay here on my back and watch the fan turn."
Last time he'd gone after Sasuke… he'd died. It was a miracle that he was alive today. If it hadn't been for the Kyuubi keeping oxygen to his brain he'd be either dead, or too retarded to wipe himself.
"Conversations cross my mind, but nothing of the speaking kind."
As Hinata tried to close her eyes memories shot through her head and she whimpered dryly. Their first kiss; blue eyes closed in front of her and the blond boy whom they belonged to paused waiting far enough away for Hinata to move in and engage the lip lock herself. The first time they spoke the three powerful words; Hinata's lips moved slowly as a tear streaked down her face; the boy to whom she was speaking wiped the tear from her cheek and recited the words back to her in a soothing voice that she could hardly remember, and then kissed her.
When Naruto proposed; the man kneeled before her at a family dinner and held out the most beautiful ring Hinata had ever seen, as he asked her to spend eternity with him; she cried and fell into his arms in joy and terror. The day Naruto told her he was going; the man with the blue sparkles on his face and the golden strands on his head whispered into her ear, keeping a stern expression of objectivity as she mourned into his chest. A few hours ago when they said what may be their last goodbye; the brave man melted into a scared boy as he cried into her hair and she begged him not to go. Hinata whimpered once again into her pillow.
"TV images repeat their one line."
Hinata stared into her pillow and then turned to gaze into the pitch black.
"Back and forth, I toss and turn; it feels like strings are holding up my eyes."
Hinata imagined how sleep felt. Every time she closed her eyes something in her head would throw her eyes back open.
"I'd kill, to fall asleep. I'd kill, to fall asleep."
Hinata felt hopeless in her own bed; powerless to do anything, even help herself. She shifted to her stomach and turned her head to breath.
"I'm putting up a losing fight; I'll never see this end tonight."
She just wanted to be with her fiancé right now.
"The thought of just one dream, it consumes me."
It seemed as though time had stopped and she lay in an inevitable and inescapable circle of misery and longing.
"The numbers on the clock turn back; my pills are having no effect."
She twisted back to her left side and covered her head with her pillow trying to drown out the sounds similar to a vacuum. She closed her eyes.
"The beating of my heart keeps the time going."
Naruto's painful screams filled her head as an image of him dead on the ground filled her mind. His chest wasn't rising and falling with breath and his face was already turning pale.
"Back and forth, I toss and turn; it feels like strings are holding up my eyes."
She tried to block the image out but she couldn't with her eyes closed still. Instead it escalated and now his clothes were torn and he was bleeding profusely. She tore her eyes open.
"I'd kill, to fall asleep. I'd kill, to fall asleep."
Hinata was dead tired and she couldn't fall asleep. She wanted to be in Naruto's arms right now. She could always sleep peacefully while he held her. After the fears and fantasies left her exhausted she still couldn't close her eyes; too frightened to see what her subconscious might have in store for her this time.
"They say that when you sleep your body's at rest, I wouldn't know what sleep felt like if I tried my best."
Hinata's eyes drifted closed against her will.
"If Polaroids and memories can fade away, so can I."
Naruto's image filled the blackness in her mind and she wrenched her eyes back open.
"Back and forth, I toss and turn; it feels like strings are holding up my eyes."
She reneged herself and clenched them tight again, if only to see his face, trying to force it to contort to a happy image. Naruto's face smiled at her.
"I'd kill, to fall asleep."
Her body eased as her face relaxed. A small smile spread across her own face. She knew now; Naruto was okay.
"I'd kill, to fall asleep."
Naruto offered her a hand.
"I'd kill, to fall asleep."
She took it and they began walking together in the tall grassy fields.
"I'd kill, to fall asleep."
Hinata smiled wider as she finally drifted fully into hers and Naruto's dreamland. Tonight they were both there.
"I'd kill..."
Well this is it. I hope you like it; this is all word-for-word from the song. Check it if you don't believe me. Even the five repeats of the song title at the end, well four. I may write something else tonight but probably not. I'm not good at inspiring myself.