I dreamed a dirty dream of you baby, you're crawling on the bathroom floor...
No actual dirty dreams included.
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Severus Snape was in his seventh year at Hogwarts. His life was shit. His only breaks from misery were potions, reading and flying. His parents were dead. His friends, if he could call them friends – they were more associates, were idiots. Lily was with bloody fucking Potter. She hadn't spoken to him in years anyway. He went to Malfoy parties hoping to find something to make him care, but he really was just a poser. He didn't follow their obsessions with pureblood and they all just seemed to want something from him. He wasn't sure what.
It was a Tuesday night and he was covering prefect rounds for Rosier, in exchange for a carton of muggle cigarettes, when two students flew by him on broomsticks, Minerva McGonagall running after them. " Come on, Snape!" she yelled in passing.
Severus's relationship with Professor McGonagall was confusing. He didn't have a crush. He didn't think her motherly, though at times she had been, far more than his own. It was almost like friendly. Like Old Friends he read about in books. He wasn't in her class. He didn't often see her and when he did, she asked him about his projects and potions as if she actually cared. He knew she pitied him- they all did. He hated people who pitied him. The school mediwitch had just become intolerable. He was healing his own wounds now. With McGonagall, it was different, he didn't mind so much.
He followed, of course.
They caught up with the boys as they entered the Ravenclaw tower and into the first room. Once caught, both surrendered their brooms immediately and were sent to their own rooms with detentions, and other punishments which would make the Ravenclaw quittitch team very unhappy indeed. Severus had never been in any dorm but Slytherin and he took the moment to look around. This was a large room with all windows looking out over the lake, full moon streaming in, bright and beautiful. There was one large canopied bed. The Slytherins' had a vip room (dark and dank) and this must be the Ravenclaw.
The Professor handed Severus one of the brooms. "Well", she said, " It would be a shame to waste such an opportunity."
" Professor?"
"The halls of Hogwarts provide a unique obstacle course for broom flying, you know? It has to be two o clock in the morning. We're unlikely to get caught."
"Caught? We are the catchers."
"Precisely!"
She giggled and looked around, her eyebrow cocked in a conspiratorial way, small sly smile. She wanted to take up where the errant students had left off. She wanted to fly through the halls and she was inviting him to join her.
He watched as she mounted the broom. "The tapestry corridor is particularly good for jousting as I remember." She lifted and flew around the room three times, around him and out the bedroom door, " Are you coming?"
He laughed out loud. The sound startled him, it had been so long since he had heard his own laugh. He got on the broom and went after her.
Severus got back to his own dorm at half three and slipped into bed. Professor McGonagall floated around the room above his head all night long and for many years to come, in his dreams.
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The first of June was cerastium harvest day and Severus Snape was at the edge of the green houses picking the tiny flowers. He should have a student do it. A Gryffindor in detention, but it was one of the chores he actually liked in this all the Gods forsaken hell that was life. Five years into his commitment of servitude, he had few pleasures. It was a beautiful clear, hot and sunny day and he had sat down in the clover to lift his face to the sun when her voice drew his attention. She was arguing with Filch. She was in a magnificent rage; gave him no quarter. He had taken away one of her student's book bag and refused to give it back. Filch was actually in the right. The student had been using the bag to knock a nest out of a tree. But to watch her yell at him, to see him squirm under her attentions...
Filch left as quickly as possible but she took out a handkerchief and wiped the sweat from her brow and down her throat into her robe. She smoothed down her robes and tucked a strand of hair back into her tight bun.
About a year before, he had decided that she was beautiful. It was the last day of term, the students were in fact gone and the staff room was chaos. Toasting of drinks, paper airplanes of student work flying everywhere with the aim of the hearth. She had taken off her hat and though still in its bun, her hair was quite a messy bun. She was all smiles.
Back in the garden, she turned to go, catching Snape and holding his eye a moment before she left. Snape lie back and fell asleep thinking of Minerva McGonagall.
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Severus had been dreaming of pudding. A rare nice dream so he was already particularly put-out to be jolted awake. Dragged from his sleep to the Gryffindor Girl's Lavatory, he assumed a student was the trouble. Something about the chandelier. The students would only say Professor McGonagall was asking for him, when he asked why she wasn't tending her own house. Then, to his horror, he realized who it was swinging from the chandelier. A few students were tossing towels, robes, whatever they could find under their head of house, some held wands at the ready, others stood around gaping. Minerva McGonagall was swinging from the Gryffindor girls lavatory chandelier.
"Out, All of you! Out. You, out!" He pointed especially to the third year hiding behind the armoire looking under her robes. No, a clingy nightdress of some sort. Her robes were on the floor. The students fled.
"Professor?!" He was at a loss for words.
"Haahhaaa! Professor, yourself!" She actually swung to the next chandelier and caught it as she yelled out the words to an old Scottish drinking song. He warded the doors and transfigured all the robes and towels on the floor into pillows.
She was extremely fit. Without sleeves he could see the muscle of her arms and shoulders and when she kicked her legs up he could see she had shapely thighs. In fact, the nightdress left little to the imagination.
He had watched her for nearly twenty years at this point. Just the thought made him feel old, though he wasn't even out of his twenties. It had been a crush in the first years, as she had always been kind. He was a brilliant child and she had encouraged his interests and was more tolerant of his shortcoming than most as he grew, even as he got into more and more trouble and his grades dropped. That strengthened when she stood up for him and tried to soothe him after the werewolf attack. He respected her and he appreciated her. Short of the broom incident though, all that was gone by fifth year when everything had changed. He had shut everyone out.
A few awful years later he was staff. Though he had watched her, not until he became staff had he actually seen her. She wasn't kind anymore. She was brutally honest, called him on every rudeness, every sneer, and berated him for being uncivil with the other professors, and students, and house elves..everyone really, which he was. He was a terrible teacher. She never failed to tell him so. She called him anti-social, which he was and demanded he join the staff for cards, which he refused for three years. She had an acerbic wit, that she used on him, as much if not more, than his colleagues. It turned him on in ways he couldn't really understand. Though she would never flirt or encourage him in any way, she also had caught him watching her and didn't look away quite quickly enough so he treated her the only way he could. Take points from her house. Eventually, they became friends.
He rushed below the swinging , singing woman, wand and arms outstretched in case she fell.
"What are you doing!? Come down!"
She laughed.
"I'm swinging, Severus! Join me!" She only called him Severus after a few too many drinks, very rarely. She went to swing to the next . She missed. Snape also missed and they landed in a heap into the pillows. Her, laughing, no cackling; him, yelling out her name.
"Minerva!"
He had never said her name out loud. Only in daydream. Only in his head.
She crawled on top of him and looked down into his eyes. He was.. terrified and it showed and she laughed again. She briefly transformed into her cat, digging her claws into his chest, laughing when she came back again.
"I think someone put something in my tea." laying down on top of him completely now, with her head on his chest.
"What!? You were drugged!?" He started to get up but she propped herself back up and held him in place.
Her hair was longer than he had imagined...and he had imagined. It pooled around his head and shoulders as she leaned over him. She laughed again. "I think so! (giggle)You should try some." She was half straddling him at this point and he had a hand on one of those shapely naked thighs. Severus's body was already betraying him and was very tempted to make a fool of himself. Suddenly, she jumped up and grabbed his hand,
"Come! Let's wake up Pomona and Albus! They'll want some too!" Just a little back to herself, but not enough to put clothes on ..
They didn't wake the others. They woke up Poppy instead and he stayed until she slept. After he found the sixth year Hufflepuff joker and determined that she had only been slightly over-dosed with a Zonko's product, he went back to his own rooms and though it was daylight, dreamed of Minerva swinging from the chandeliers and her long hair ensnaring all his senses.
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i Monster. Daydream in Blue
Daydream
I fell asleep amid the flowers
For a couple of hours, on a beautiful day
Daydream
I dream of you amid the flowers
for a couple of hours, such a beautiful day
I dream a dirty dream of you baby
You're crawling on the bathroom floor
You float around the room and you're naked
Then you're flying out the bedroom door
I dream a dirty dream
I dream a dirty dream
Daydream
I fell asleep amid the flowers
for a couple of hours, on a beautiful day
Daydream
I dream of you amid the flowers
For a couple of hours, such a beautiful day.
I dream a dirty dream of you baby
You're swinging from the chandelier
I'm climbing up the walls 'cause i want you
But when I reach you, you disappear
I dream a dirty dream
I dream a dirty dream
I dirty dream
I dirty dream
I dirty dream
Dream
Daydream
I fell asleep amid the flowers
For a couple of hours, on a beautiful day
Daydream
I dream of you amid the flowers
For a couple of hours, such a beautiful day
Daydream
I fell asleep amid the flowers
For a couple of hours, on a beautiful day
Daydream
I dream of you amid the flowers
For a couple of hours, such a beautiful day
Shetland Mouse-ear (Cerastium nigrescens)