warning: Very glum author.
Veil
Your happiness I cannot satisfy. You deserve someone far better than a man who hardly smiles. But allow me to linger, and you will not regret. ShinoHina
oooooooooooo
Flashes of images played on his head as he nestled himself at the edge of the cliff, admiring its view of the world. Soft pictures of a Hyuuga Hinata could not be erased. The images continued to flash unwaveringly; she was smiling happily with two people beside her, namely Inuzuka Kiba and Uzumaki Naruto, as they practiced their shuriken-throwing.
Just to see her smile. Just to know she's happy with them, Shino found it obscurely hurtful. Though a simple smile from the young lass was enough to keep his principles straight, he still could not fully understand the reason behind his silent yearnings. But for now, he chose to keep it all to himself. It wasn't the right time to ponder on things like these yet, especially since training for their up-coming B-rank mission was crucial.
Apparently, the trio has grown unexpectedly close. Shino, however, chose not to linger. He knew better. He wasn't about to get himself caught in a love triangle; he's had enough heartache already. As a result, he decided to contemplate somewhere far from them— on his favorite spot, which was just a two-kilometer walk from their dwelling.
And so, the Aburame bug manipulator took a deep breath and did his best to relax his senses with his feet hanging freely at the edge of the cliff. The wind that had blown softly caressed his pale cheeks, bringing alongside the messy strands of his hair to sway with them. The bridge of his shades plopped down a bit, exposing the deepest amber of eyes as they gazed at a perfect sunset painted on the horizon.
His Kikai were roaming freely in the forest, giving him much time alone. He'd wish for this tranquility sometimes, but every now and then, his mind would play the haunting melody of Hinata's laughter.
"Absurd," he murmured to himself, running his hands against the ground. Until he had grabbed hold of a rock, he threw it absentmindedly across the horizontal distance, only to realize that he could not defy the laws of gravity. It caused the object to plummet a few hundred feet below the cliff, but he didn't care if it would land. It would shatter into a million pieces despite its hard structure anyway.
But as the thought crossed his head, he could not help but wonder if that would happen to him soon. Yes, he admits, he was falling. The question is, will someone be there at the end to make his fall a little less catastrophic?
Aburame Shino snorted. "The bug-freak may be capable of breaking someone… but he's only human. Thus, someone is as capable of breaking him in return."
Eyes fixed to the fading sun, he watched the darkness take over the light. It was a slow and lingering process, but he noticed it nonetheless. Until the darkness really settled in, he opted to get home already. Shino helped himself up in a quick move, allowing his left foot to land before him. With the small click of his tongue, the mass of his Kikai seeped through his skin. When all of his bugs were secure, he called in seven fireflies to guide him home with their light.
For a fleeting moment, he wished he could share this scene with someone who could appreciate the fireflies' beauty. Then again, no one really cared now.
He finally reached his destination– a bungalow-like dwelling he stayed in for a couple of days with his two comrades. Unsure whether either one was awake, he prepared himself for questions like, "Where were you?" or "why weren't you with us in the training?" No one seemed to notice if he was there in the first place anyway.
Tucking his chin deeper into his high-collar, he cautiously opened the wooden door not without a faint creak. He scanned the area; no one was there, or rather, was still awake. He placed himself inside as quietly as he could so as not to disturb anyone nearby. To his utter relief, no one heard him step in.
But at the exact moment he felt complete reassurance, his gaze fell to a sleeping figure lying on the desk with a lamp on. He shrugged, and then walked casually over to the body. It was Hyuuga Hinata sleeping with the night light shining brightly. Her diary had been opened since she made a new entry, perhaps a while before she fell asleep. Unfortunately, her drowsiness got the better of her, making her unable to complete the entry.
Shino wasn't the type of person to stick his nose into other people's business, but he did manage to take a small glance of a single word written on the page… a word Hinata grew so familiar of.
Naruto-kun…He picked up the restricted "DO-NOT-TOUCH" item, then shut it close. Tucking it away in one of the drawers, he couldn't help but listen to the way Hinata inhaled and exhaled in her sleep. Her breathing patterns were rhythmic, in sync to his own breathing pattern as well. A small, slight smile played on his lips.
With one swift and quiet attempt, he scooped her sleeping figure from the chair and placed the weight of her body in his arms. He cradled her to her bed and placed her there, struggling so cautiously not to wake her. She wasn't as heavy as he expected, and just having her close to his chest was enough for him to run out of breath. Even the most demanding of trainings couldn't compare to the way she made him suffocate whenever she was near him.
Slowly, he bent down on his knees to watch Hinata sleep. She was smiling.
As delicately as he could, Shino brushed her raven bangs away from her eyes, giving him a better view of her face. She was quite beautiful, he noticed, with her pale lips arched upwards as she dozed. Perhaps she was dreaming of him again, and she would shyly tell him the next morning about her fantasy the other night. The last dream she had with Naruto in it, he was already raising children with her. Hinata's cheeks would turn red once she uttered, "twins" with absolute delight. It was a marvel to see her that happy, as Shino observed, even if it only existed in her mind.
But dreams will always be dreams, whether you wake up or not. Sadly, that's how life is.
Her warm breath fanned his face, and he could only admire this closeness for a passing moment. Tomorrow, he will have to cover his heart again…like any other day… and wear an impenetrable mask of silence. But feeling her so close to him made everyday worth living.
For a second, Hinata began to stir. And he knew it was time to go.
The raven-haired girl slowly opened her milky eyes, only to find no one was there. She rubbed them wearily after uttering Shino's name in a query-like manner. No one responded, so she went back to her sleep…
Unaware that the Aburame was just standing outside her door, listening…waiting.
"Oyasumi nasai, Hinata-san."
Oooooooooooo
"O-H-A-Y-O-U, Hinata-chan!"
Uzumaki Naruto had an immeasurable grin plastered on his face that morning. Along with Hinata was Kiba and Shino, following her from behind as the blushing girl hurried her way to the Kyuubi. She greeted him a good morning as well, and added to it was a bow.
"Oi, Naruto, your training yesterday was lousy. Don't try to teach Hinata-chan something you can't even do yourself," Kiba spoke up, frowning.
Naruto frowned back in return. "The cursed target was moving!"
"Do you expect our opponents to just stand there and get hit, baka?"
The Kyuubi's blue eyes blazed violently. Just before he could respond though, a memory from yesterday played in his head. His grin resurfaced, which caused all of team 8 to look at him uncertainly. Naruto pointed his finger at the dog-lover and replied, "You never hit a SINGLE target yesterday!"
Immediately, Kiba's face burnt hotly. His eye twitched, but another memory from yesterday played on his head as well. He pointed his finger back at Naruto, laughing. "You never hit a SINGLE target either!"
And thus, the small conversation turned into an unstoppable debate on who sucked more.
An early morning verbal fight between Naruto and Kiba was the worst thing for Aburame Shino. So, he just turned his back on his companions after uttering, "All of you suck." Now he was planning on training alone at his favorite spot. It was better anyway, and the silence was peaceful there. He turned his back to walk away from them, but was hindered so when Hinata called,
"Shino-kun… where are you going?"
He shrugged, his back facing her. "Somewhere less loud."
"A-Aren't you training with us today?" He sensed a pleading tone in her voice. But he merely tucked the bridge of his shades further up his nose.
"Not today, Hinata-san." And he left, the reason for the uncertain expression in her face.
She could have called him again and pleaded for him to stay. She could have asked him to bear their fight for a while, and that it'd end sometime sooner. She could have offered to train with him. She could have done so many things to change his mind… but she didn't. She only stood there, partially uncertain, as the bug-boy left for the forest.
"Shino-kun…"
He buried his hands in his pockets once he felt Hinata turn to the other direction in an effort to stop Kiba and Naruto's bickering. It was okay, actually, but she could have done so much to convince him to stay. The Aburame heir shrugged as he continued on his way through the rugged path, kicking up dust along the way. Patches of rocks flew a few inches from the ground, and as they did so, he maneuvered his right foot expertly to kick the matter a distance far from him.
He clicked his tongue in exasperation. Muttering under his breath, he wished he would arrive at the cliff as soon as possible. From this point, it was only ten feet away already. But then, he stopped to feel the familiar breeze on his face. And slowly, his gaze raced to meet the ever so beautiful view before him.
He had to smile.
Heaven was overrated. But his meager figure created an atmosphere of content as the wind continued to press against his skin. Peace was all he wanted, except now he was feeling great emptiness. He didn't know why. A void only filled the contents of his heart. What is it about this 'something-is-missing' state when all you could ask for is right in front of you?
His eyes gazed at the bleak skies for a moment. "It's going to rain tonight…"
Meanwhile, whilst he pondered on thoughts, Naruto was coaching Hinata on the proper way to hold a shuriken.
"You need to be careful," he reminded her, guiding her hands with his fingers along one shuriken. "It's all in the wrist Hinata-chan. Concentrating the shuriken on a target is the next best thing."
He was grinning as she covered up her flushed cheeks. "H-Hai…Naruto-kun."
Kiba wasn't impressed. "Isn't focusing on the target one of the rudiments of shuriken-throwing?"
The Kyuubi frowned. "Stop being annoying for once!"
"Just saying," muttered the dog-lover irritatedly. Seeing the loudmouth so close to Hinata did pull a few of his nerve strings. His fists clenched. 'Lucky bastard.'
The girl was now clutching the shuriken properly, focusing her vision to one of the wooden targets up ahead. She concentrated a small amount of chakra on her assault so it would become a bit more effective. Eyes fixed on the target, and, after a quick flick of the wrist, she released the shuriken and hit the target on its far-side.
"Good, that was better Hinata-chan!" Naruto praised her, smiling. "You'll need to focus on making the shuriken hit the middle so your attack would be successful."
Hinata blushed. Profusely. "H-Hai…"
They were training together with a little help from Kiba the whole day. A quick lunchbreak was scheduled, but right after, they immediately resumed their training. Until such time when the clouds promised a shower of rain, they decided to call it a day.
"I'll be back, Hinata-chan," Kiba spoke up while Hinata and Naruto ate their ramen at the Ichikari. The dog-lover had already eaten enough.
"Where are you going?" The Kyuubi boy asked incoherently; his mouth was still full of noodles.
"I'm going to get an umbrella," he replied. Though he had muttered something under his breath, Hinata didn't bother to ask anymore. She stood up and spoke,
"Kiba-kun, let me bring the umbrella for you."
"No, no. The rain will pour any second now…" He observed, scrutinizing the disturbing atmosphere outside. Kiba gave her a grin instead. "Wait for me, ok?"
Hinata nodded gratefully. "Arigatou, Kiba-kun."
"Oi, Naruto." The blone-haired boy looked up to him with his mouth still full. "Don't get any ideas on Hinata-chan."
This caused the girl to blush. "Kiba-kun…"
"Hai, hai. I won't let anything happen to her!" the Kyuubi swore as he swallowed up the rest of the ramen in his mouth. Kiba gave a small nod, and went on his way back to their bungalow-like dwelling.
Once Hinata had seated herself beside Naruto, he said all of a sudden, "Thanks for spending some time with me, Hinata-chan."
Her milky eyes focused on the polished floor of the Ichikari. "N-No… I have to thank you, Naruto-kun."
This made a small smile on the Kyuubi's lips. It wasn't one of his teasing smiles nor was it one of his cheerful ones. It was heartfelt, as he continued to watch the girl play with her pale fingers.
"Hinata-chan…"
She looked up to him, startled from the way his voice spoke up. It was unusual to hear him without his cheery disposition. "Hai, Naruto-kun?"
Their gazes met; milky white blended with azure. In a fleeting second, she felt ultimately secure as he held her gaze that unwaveringly. But he broke their stance once he switched his eyes elsewhere. "I need to tell you something."
Her heart pounded. What could it be? Would it make her absolutely happy, or would it tear her apart? She chose not to think of it and merely asked, "What is it?"
The boy chuckled uncomfortably. "This'll be harder than I thought…"
Oooooooooooo
For the time being, Aburame Shino was sitting on the cliff again. He never moved from that spot since this morning. Lunch didn't bother him much, and dinner didn't matter any less. He just sat there, listening to the ruffling of the leaves as the cold wind settled in. Indeed, rain was on its way.
Until a point when he felt like standing did he gather himself to his feet. He closed his eyes while his head was tilted upwards, admiring the smell of the cold breeze. He yielded his dark glasses and hid them into one of his deep pockets.
And, in a short while, he felt drops of water overlap the tears he shed. The rain was cold, but the warmness of his own body didn't give in; instead, he welcomed the cold while the shower washed away his pains.
It felt so good.
Shino lowered his head to stare at the ground, inhaling the smell of sweet grass emanating beneath his feet. It was already dark, but he could see the hues of green from the vegetation. It's been a long time since he actually saw color, now that his shades were off. Deep amber eyes were fixed on the soil as the rain soaked him wholly.
"Sakura-chan and I have been dating for the past few weeks."
She could not read his eyes.
"Hinata-chan… I got her engaged to me."
Her heart stopped. For three seconds, nothing registered on her head at all. But until she understood fully what he meant, she didn't know what to say. To congratualte him? To pour out every single detail of how much she loved him over the years? To ask him to marry her instead?
"N-Naruto-kun…" He couldn't read her eyes as well. She was already shedding tears, but she spoke no other word but his name.
Although she didn't want to read him by using the Byakugan earlier, she regretted it already. She could have prepared herself for the worst… but she refused to believe any of it.
Her feet, without any commands from her mind and heart, led her out of the Ramen Shop, allowing the rain to soak her. She didn't give Naruto the chance to catch up on her, so she hastened her pace to nowhere.
Shino was on his way home already when he found her crying. She was kneeling down in the mud, sobbing painfully as she uttered 'Naruto-kun.'
His eyes widened, and he immediately ran towards her. He threw himself to his knees to be in the same level as her face. With the most gentle of tones, he watched her break down and whispered, "Hinata-san…"
Slowly, she looked up to him. Her swelling eyes met his. And, at this point, he didn't care if she managed to gaze at a pair of orbs that had been hidden for so long. "Shino-kun…"
Her voice broke once she threw herself in his arms, sobbing frantically. Her pale hands trembled as they gripped the sleeves of his coat. Shaking her head slowly, he knew that this is where the denial begins.
"G-Gomenasai, Shino-kun…"
He wrapped his arms around her wordlessly, easing her senses. It was all he could do… to hold her this way.
"Gomenasai…" she apologized. "Gomenasai… gomenasai…"
If only he could utter three of the sweetest words to smooth her pain. If only he could dictate his feelings for her. If only he could tell her. He would sacrifice his pride any day. But…
His fingers traced an outline on the Hyuuga's cheek as she continued to cry. He wanted to ebb away her pain by overlapping his lips with hers… but he had no right to do so. Instead, as his tender embrace slowly made her sobbing stop, he watched her succumb to the pain and drift off to sleep with a little help from his Kikai's sleeping poison. It was just an ounce, not dangerous enough to kill. He figured she needed to rest a while.
He bent down close to her face, but made a detour to her ear. "Your happiness I cannot satisfy. You deserve someone far better than a man who hardly smiles. But allow me to linger, and you will not regret."
It didn't matter if she heard him or not. The point was, he told her how he felt.
Aburame Shino gathered her weight into his built arms once again after returning a pair of tinted lenses back to cover his eyes. He would never take them off again. Seeing no color didn't allow him to suffer; it was a veil to avoid making anyone see his emotions.
As he headed for their bungalow-like dwelling, he allowed the rain to soak them both.
It washed away the tears that had torn them apart, and perhaps, gave them the chance to let it all go. Tomorrow, he will wear yet another apathetic mask, just like any other day.
But at least, he wasn't alone anymore.
Oooooooooooo
A/n: An author will surely feel happy to know if someone cared to drop a review.