A/N: Hey! So, this is the first fanfic I've written for Star Wars! It's also the first smut fic I've ever written (ooohhh). That being said, I *do* have an idea of where this could potentially go, so I may or may not continue it. Your thoughts/comments would be greatly appreciated. :)
Scour
The moons of Ach-To hung high and blindingly brilliant in the evening sky, their enchanting luminescence casting a gentle, radiant glow on the world beneath them. The island's vast, ink-black ocean roared and thundered in the distance, the faint cries of a gaggle of porgs echoing against the sea's hollow wail.
Rey shivered in the bitter air, but didn't let the cold slow her down. She tightened her grip on the holster that was slung diagonally across her chest, housing her saberstaff, and continued her aimless trek through the darkness. She wasn't entirely sure where she was headed to; all she knew was that she had to get there.
She'd been in dire need of the chance to really settle in and clear her head since arriving on the island. Her energy had, so far, been split between two tasks: convincing Luke Skywalker to train her (which had taken a great deal of tenacity - he'd only recently agreed to it), and fighting off the dark, looming influences of his nephew.
Ever since the destruction of Starkiller Base, since the moment Kylo Ren entered her mind and saw her deepest, most intimate thoughts, something... strange had been happening. She probably should have told Master Luke about it, but the man already seemed so frazzled and paranoid, that she figured it would be better to deal with it alone. Even still... whatever was happening between them... it was getting worse.
A Force Bond was what Kylo kept calling it; a connection between the minds and hearts of two force-sensitive individuals, allowing them to see into each other's thoughts and feel the other's emotions at will. He was very adamant about reminding her of the spiritual implications of the Bond: it was a union deigned by the Force itself, willed by the higher powers of the universe. In short - it was fate.
Rey shivered again, not from the cold, but from the ugliness of that word, and all the ugly connotations it carried with it. A fated union? Between her and Ren? The thought alone made her feel sick.
"We cannot continue to ignore this..." Kylo had whispered to her one night, the same night that he seemed to have given up fighting what was becoming more and more inevitable. His voice called to her like a searing, forbidden sonata as it echoed through the chambers of her frayed mind, and Rey winced at the sound. "We cannot hide from each other... the need to... to be near you... it's too great... I know you feel it, too..."
She'd immediately pushed him away at that, falling into a listless sleep, ignoring any and all attempts he made to reach out to her again. She could give a kriff what the universe wanted. Kylo Ren was a monster. He was a pathetic, lowly, inhumane animal, and she would stop at nothing to bring him - and the First Order - to justice. She hated him.
And yet... even still...
She'd be lying to say she wasn't feeling the effects of the Bond, or whatever the hell it was. The empathy they'd developed for each other had become so natural and so refined, that it was difficult to know where Ren's feelings ended and hers began. There were nights where she'd lie awake in bed, hating herself in a way she never had before, wanting nothing more than to just... be near him. There were days where she'd be training with Master Luke, and a rogue thought or emotion would filter through her brain - usually an intense, all-consuming rage - that she knew for certain couldn't have come from her.
And then there was something else...
The Bond greatly warped her perception of reality. It clouded her judgment. It got the best of her, time and time again, and it was making her feel... attracted to him. Physically. The fixation and shared consciousness had gradually turned to lust. She imagined him touching her with his large, powerful hands. She envisioned the sight of his tall, rippling frame beneath the layers of endless black. She wondered what it would be like to run her fingers through his dark, feathery hair. She wanted to... to...
"No," Rey said aloud, anchoring herself back to reality. "You're not thinking clearly. Just... relax. Just empty your mind and relax..."
Suddenly, the world around her begin to shift.
She felt the Force crackle and buzz with energy as a distinctive, heady pressure formed like a dark cloud at the edges of her mind. Rey gasped, the sensation stopping her dead in her tracks. The feeling itself wasn't unpleasant - on the contrary, it was disgustingly familiar, almost… comforting - but it was certainly unwelcome. She tried to push it out as quickly as she'd felt it, but the pressure was too strong, too persistent.
"Scavenger…"
She scoffed in annoyance as his voice rang out in a faint whisper, like a plume of wind echoing over the roaring sea. She tugged at the strap of her staff holster and resumed walking, faster now, as if to outrun the pull of his omnipresent call.
"Are you there…?"
The weight in her head was building. Her vision blurred, ears starting to ring and goosebumps raising on her skin as he reached for her. She hid from him as best she could, masking her distinct signature through the Force, but he was too quick. He was always right there, trailing behind her, gaining momentum.
"Couldn't you at least answer me...?"
She ignored him. She pushed into the Force with as much strength as she could muster, trying to cast him out, but he clung to the connection before she could break it, re-entering with a vigor that made her feel dizzy.
"What good will it do to resist me?" Kylo Ren asked. The bite in his baritone voice suggested he was no longer toying with her, but now legitimately annoyed. "You know you can't hide."
"Shut-up," she muttered between clenched teeth, ascending a large rock and pulling herself on top of a bluff. She scanned the moonlit waters below, crashing against the shoreline, and shut her eyes again, concentrating, attempting once more to push him out.
She could feel the Force twisting and bending beneath the weight of their tug-of-war, her trying to snap the connection while Ren held on desperately.
"I'm not letting you pull away," he growled. "There are matters between us that bear discussion."
"I have nothing to say to you, Ren."
He scoffed. "Is that so?"
"Yes. So why don't you do the both of us a favor and leave me alone? I have no desire to talk to you. Not now, or tomorrow, or ever. Do you understand?"
He was silent for the briefest of instances, before letting out a deep, labored sigh. "You're as stubborn as a bantha, sand rat."
"And you're twice as foolish as one."
He pressed on, disregarding her vexation. "I've been trying to reach you for days. Why are you ignoring me?"
She paced the length of the bluff, again moving faster, desperate, wanting to do anything in the world but talk to him.
"Because you're revolting and I despise you. I assumed that was clear."
He actually laughed at that, a foreign, low-pitched sound that was strangely disarming, having come from him.
"'Despise' me… you may lie so freely to yourself, Scavenger, but you can't lie to me. You know that. The Bond doesn't allow much room for secrecy."
Ugh. She wished he would stop giving credence to it. She wished he would stop making it real.
"But it is real," he told her, a hint of desperation in his voice. "And for the life of me I cannot understand why you choose to run from it…"
"Just leave me alone!" Rey cried out. Her heart was racing and her voice was strained in its sheer urgency. A surge of emotions welled up inside of her just then - rage, shock, pain, disappointment, fear - and she couldn't decipher which feelings were his and which were her own.
She shut her eyes in an effort to fight off the sudden sting of tears. "Just… please," she whispered, defeated. "Please leave me alone…"
Kylo Ren was silent for a moment. In fact, the stillness stretched on for so long, Rey would've assumed he'd actually left, if not for the fact that she could still feel him. When he did speak again, his voice was tight, measured in its tone yet still wracked with emotion. He sounded almost... wounded...
"I can't."
She opened her eyes and found him standing right in front of her.
The cliffs were gone. The ocean had vanished. In fact, the island itself was nowhere to be seen. Instead, the two of them were standing in some mysterial place she'd likely only ever visited in dreams. A dark, hazy, empty realm, swirling with thick plumes of mist, the ground beneath their feet throbbing and humming with raw, unrestrained energy. Rey gasped, looking around her in shock. She'd heard Master Luke speak of places such as this before; of a sort of Force nexus - a state of consciousness comparable to a lucid dream, where Sensitives could meet while being miles away, where everything happened in their heads yet still felt real.
And that was precisely what Rey told herself as Ren regarded her silently, her heart starting to race.
It isn't real. He isn't really here, she thought. This is all happening in my mind...
"I wouldn't take much solace in that, if I were you," he replied breezily to her internal monologue.
The wicked knight loomed above her, tall and strikingly powerful, but Rey refused to feel intimidated. The long, winding scar she'd given him made him seem older somehow, a distinctive mar against his otherwise youthful (if not jaded) face. His full lips were parted in an odd sort of reverence as his hazel eyes danced across her countenance, surging with an intensity she could feel down to her bones.
She swallowed, surprised by the sudden hoarseness in her throat. "Why are you harassing me - ?"
"Surely you don't think I want any of this, do you?" he asked, ignoring her. He broke their gaze, and she could feel his desire, his ache for her, and the shame that immediately followed it. "Do you think I enjoy having to live like this? A shell of a man, lying to myself, lying to the Supreme Leader, going on without the one thing I desire more than anything in the galaxy… that I can never have?"
She clenched her jaw, her body beginning to tremble of its own accord. "That isn't my problem."
"But it is," he snapped, looking back up to once again disarm her with the power of his stare. "Because you feel exactly the same as I do." He took a step towards her. She stepped back. "The Force has willed this Bond between us. You can't pretend that it has no affect on you. It is conscious-altering. It drives you mad with an insatiable need to be near the other person…"
She shook her head. "I'm not listening to this…"
"You know it's true, Rey..." His eyes were beseeching as they searched hers, and in that moment, it was as though the fearsome warlord Kylo Ren had vanished, and in his place stood Ben Solo, a desperate man making a dangerous plea. He continued to advance on her, and she continued to retreat. "I am not usually a man who begs, but..." he trailed off. Shook his head. He swallowed and cast his gaze to the ground, and when he looked up to meet hers once more, his eyes were wild and scorching, his voice undulating with emotion. "I can't take this anymore..."
She glared at him. "I don't care."
He took a final step, and this time, she held her ground. She tried to ignore the stirring in her lower belly, the racing of her heart as Kylo gazed down at her with a hunger that set her nerves ablaze. "You have feelings for me."
He hadn't posed it as a question, but rather, a statement of facts. Rey scoffed. "You're delusional," she snapped.
"And you're exasperating. I know you better than anyone," he went on. "Better than Skywalker. Better than Leia Organa. Certainly better than that... fresher-scrubber you're always running around with - FN-2187..."
"His name is Finn," she snarled, "and let me remind you of this, since you seem to have conveniently forgotten: you are my enemy. You have tortured my friends. You're on a warpath to kill my Master. You have the blood of thousands of innocents on your hands, including your own father's."
Ren twitched at that, but didn't dare look away.
"Bond or not, you're a wretched, despicable beast, and the only thing I'd ever want from you is to see you lying in a grave."
He blinked, his expression betraying that he'd been stung by her words, before he quickly pushed it away. "Those friends of yours?" he spat, "The traitor, those fools with the Resistance, Luke Skywalker… they can't protect you. They don't matter. All that truly matters is who you'll find in your darkest hours, in those definitive moments when it seems you have no one but yourself. And what will you discover in those moments, Scavenger?" He leaned in close. "That all you really have is me."
Rey glared at him, feeling the rage and pain surge within her until it reached a furious breaking point. She slapped him, hard enough to elicit a grunt of surprise from the tall, darkly-clad man before he turned back to face her with a livid stare.
"I hate you," she wailed, her vision glossing over with a fresh swell of tears.
Ren looked at her, panting, eyes drinking in the contours of her face, before he crashed his lips against hers in a wild kiss.
Rey wanted to fight him off. She wanted to shove him away and return to the island, invigorated with a new sense of strength. But she didn't. She couldn't. Her body seemed rooted to the spot, her hands seeming to move of their own accord as her fingers tangled themselves in his dark, silken hair. Ren moaned against her mouth as his tongue fought for control of hers, while his gloved hands left streaks of fire against her skin as they pulled and groped and clawed.
Rey's head lolled back in ecstasy and his lips viciously attacked her neck, biting and sucking. Stars… she hated him. She hated him for doing this to her. She hated him for making her want this, making her feel like there was nothing in the world that would satisfy her more than the feeling of his large, powerful body overwhelming her.
She pulled back, taking his head in her hands and kissing him deeply, biting his lower lip, hard enough to draw a rivulet of blood. He groaned, shuddered, and the two of them stumbled at the mutual loss of feeling in their legs, somehow ending up tangled on the floor. She was straddling him, panting, meeting his heady gaze with a glare. And with the speed of a viper, he captured her wrists and threw her on her back, pinning her down, looking at her with the intensity of a wolf about to devour its prey.
Hours might have passed as they held each other's stare. The sound of their combined, labored breathing and the thrumming of the terrain beneath them filled the atmosphere, and Rey could feel everything coming from him - the rage. The hatred. The torment. The self-loathing. The desire.
He was the first to break the silence. "Not quite as audacious when I've got you held down underneath me, are you, Scavenger?"
With a grunt, she tried to push him away. He held on, his jaw taut with determination. She sensed the Force refining itself under his instruction, seizing hold of her body and immobilizing her where she lay. She gasped in frustration, paralyzed, powerless beneath him. The unified weight of his strong body and the Force's potent influence was draining the air from her lungs, and she sputtered and struggled, reaching out with her mind, fighting (and failing) to break his intense, concentrated control.
Rey gasped. The pressure on her chest was winding up towards her throat by his unspoken command, tightening like a fist. It was getting dangerously hard to breathe, and - judging by the unhinged, calculating glint that flickered in his dark eyes - that was wholly intentional. But even through his determination and thirst for blood, his maddening desire to end her life (and, in turn, his own everlasting turmoil), she could feel his lust. His need. And she tore into the Force, exploiting it, overpowering his mind with feelings and sensations of passion so agonizingly potent that she could actually feel it weakening him.
The pressure at her throat began to dull as his concentration faltered, his breath coming out in increasingly ragged pants, his body trembling, his eyes falling half-lidded. Rey lifted her chin defiantly, feeling both triumphant and viciously aroused at the sight of him like this.
She ground her hips into the firmness that was building against his inner thigh, drawing out an agonized grunt from the man on top of her.
"You're weak, Ren," she said, breathless, taunting him. "You can't even kill me because of how badly you want to fuck me. And you're pathetic for it."
The expression on his face was somewhere between dangerous fury, inconceivable shame, and raw, simmering lust.
"And what's worse," she went on, "this is the only way you'd be able to do it. By force. For all your talk of some intrinsic, insatiable need I have for you, I'd rather die than give myself to you freely."
Kylo snarled, cupping her chin and forcing her to meet his wrathful stare. "Your obstinance will be the death of me."
She clenched her teeth. "Good."
And with that, he kissed her again, this time with enough ferocity to knock the wind from her lungs. She let out a yelp of surprise as his teeth and tongue began to explore every inch of her mouth with unrestrained fervor, transitioning again to her neck, her earlobe, her collarbone. She trembled with every graze of his lips, felt her insides somersault at each passing, heated gaze.
He broke the kiss suddenly, taking a fistful of her dark hair and yanking it back, hard enough to draw an aroused whine from her lips.
"I may not be able to kill you, sand rat," he said, his voice low and heated. "But I will fuck you within an inch of your life."
"Do what you will," Rey said defiantly. "I'll never give in."
"Oh, you'll give in," he promised her. "And you'll do so willingly - dripping wet and screaming my name."
There was an intensity and thirst she'd never known before in the way he undressed her, his breathing ragged and his hands moving like lightning as he tore off the robes and fabric that concealed her tanned skin from his view. And she took note of the way his hands trembled as he reached up and undid the ridiculous, dark cape swaying around his shoulders, followed by the belt that secured his black tunic, until he was looming above her in a sleeveless shirt, suspenders and trousers, pulling off his gloves with his teeth. The act itself - the muscles of his broad arms rippling as he tossed the articles aside with abandon, eyes never once leaving hers - was somehow incredibly sexy.
"I'm going to make you cum harder than you've ever thought was possible," he told her, lowering his suspenders and pulling off his shirt to reveal the scarred, strapping figure underneath. "By the time I'm finished with you - I swear by the Force itself, you'll never dream of resisting me again."
Rey was already wet, her nether regions throbbing with anticipation and need, but she'd never admit it aloud. "We'll just have to see about that…"
He tore off the last few concealments clinging to her sinewy frame, letting out a groan of arousal as he took in the sight of her. His large hands trailed upwards from her hips and reached for her modest breasts, fingers twisting and caressing her nipples in a rhythm that made her throw her head back and bite her lip in an effort to stifle her moans.
His lips soon replaced his fingers, and with a needy sigh, he began sucking and biting, hard enough to surely leave bruises, but not in a way that she found at all unpleasant. Rey couldn't conceal the moan that tore from her throat as shock waves of electricity coursed down her spine and went straight to her clit.
Kylo chuckled darkly at the sound. "Look at you, Scavenger," he teased. "You want me to take you already, and I've hardly even touched you."
She didn't speak, didn't protest as one of those large, talented hands slid down her body, fingers easing gently into her core, rocking back and forth, making contact with that sensitive area inside herself she'd never been able to fully reach. Her toes curled, and she let out another groan of desire.
"Stars, you're tight," he growled. "Wet. And all because of me." He gave her a wicked smirk. "How unfortunate for you…"
"Go to hell," Rey said in a strangled voice.
He didn't retaliate, instead lowering himself between her thighs and pressing his mouth against her swollen clit.
Rey gasped as waves of exhilaration tore through her nerves, like a clap of lightning lighting up a dusky sky. His tongue and lips were swirling and sucking, doing wild, inconceivable things to her body, lapping at her with a ferocity that made her head spin. It was almost too much...
"N-No..." she gasped feebly, her brain and mouth operating on two different wavelengths, "You have to... to... ah..."
"What was that?" Kylo asked tauntingly.
"You have to... to stop..."
"Stop?" his tone was laced with derision, the faintest of smirks playing against his mouth as he gazed up at her from the apex of her legs. "Doesn't seem like you want me to stop at all."
He was right. Rey's head was thrown back, eyes shut, lips parted as she moaned and twisted in ecstasy. She was no stranger to physical pleasure - she'd had a partner or two back on Jakku, and she was certainly an expert in the ways of self-satisfaction - but this felt… different. Perhaps it was the fact that it was all happening in her head, a clever trick of the Force that allowed their shared fantasy to play out like a dream.
Or maybe it was just him. Maybe it was just the ardor and eagerness with which his mouth devoured her pussy, the chill-inducing ecstasy that came with seeing the dark warrior wild-eyed and powerless to his own lust.
Whatever it was, the pleasure was astonishing.
He pulled away suddenly, and her body twitched at the loss of warmth, before his fingers began circling her clit once more. He watched her while she moaned and writhed and gasped, his dark eyes burning like gas lights from beneath the curtains of his raven hair, lips puffy and slick, chest heaving in a ragged pant.
"You're infuriating," she breathed.
He smirked slightly. "Why? Because you're enjoying this more than you'd care to let on?" he growled, his fingers slipping deeper inside of her. Her only response came in the form of a hiss between clenched teeth and he bit his lip, groaning. "I knew you would. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist me for long."
He took one of her wrists in his hand and yanked it down to cup his cock, thick and firm and leaking.
"Do you see what you do to me?" he said, moving her hand up and down to stroke it. His breath hitched at the contact. "Leaving me hard as a rock from just the taste of you... I guess we're both weak, aren't we? We're both only human. The Force is greater than all of us. No one would blame us for being powerless against it."
Something struck a nerve in her at that. No. She was done with his teasing. He was enjoying this far too much. Rey narrowed her eyes, propping herself up against her elbows. Using a trick she'd picked up on in combat, she tightened her thighs, twisted her body, and pushed forward until she was straddling him again. Kylo let out a grunt of surprise as he landed on his back, his eyes wide with sudden apprehension as Rey glared at him.
"On the contrary, Kylo," she said. "I'm the one with all the power..."
He didn't have much time to process this before she sank down onto his length, uttering a strangled cry of want that sliced through the mystical quiet of their otherworldly domain. He felt larger than she'd imagined he would, and her body opened and stretched to accommodate him. She pushed down on him again, and again, relentless and ardent, wanting to see him squirm, to falter, to lose his control. And he did, grunting, muttering curses under his breath. Rey's hands coursed down his chest as she dug her nails into his alabaster skin, trying to mark him, trying to retain some semblance of control. But it was becoming far too easy to let go, as his hips rolled into hers, their bodies writhing in perfect unison, a dark, demented dance that was choreographed just for them.
The Bond only seemed to make matters worse - or better, perhaps - as it fizzed and sparkled jaggedly through the Force. Each move, each breath, each sigh was intensified as Rey and Kylo felt the other's sensations in addition to their own. The pleasure was so immense, so stupendous, that it took her breath away. She wanted - no, desperately needed - more…
Judging by the way his face was contorted with raw, carnal desire, and the ragged, needy growls that were tearing from his throat as she rocked into him, the experience was much the same for him. "Rey…" he was whispering, over and over again. "Rey…"
She leaned down, never one to pass up an opportunity to torment him, even in her current state. "Like I said," she panted. "You're the one who's weak."
He choked out an amused, breathless laugh. "Am I?" He drew himself into an upright position, taking her firmly by the hips and effortlessly shuffling her so that she was on all fours in front of him. One of those wide hands reached up and twisted back her hair again, freeing it of its three buns, sending a river of chestnut brown cascading down his forearm. Despite herself, her body throbbed at the raw display of dominance. Uttering a groan that was quite possibly the sexiest sound she'd ever heard leave a man's throat, he thrust into her, hard and endlessly, and she trembled and moaned.
"Need I... remind you..." he growled lasciviously into her ear, his breath hot and insistent against her neck, "that you're the one who's... on your knees... in front of me... needy... and breathless... at the feel of my cock?"
Her toes curled at the filth and indecency of his words, and she whined desperately as he fucked her deeper.
"I wonder... if any other man... could ever... fuck you half as well as I can?" he purred derisively. Rey felt a sudden tilt in the Force once more, and she sensed that Kylo was exploiting it, using it to intensify her pleasure. A spectacular feeling of lust washed over her and she wailed and writhed and shuddered, senseless with desire.
His hand freed her hair from its grasp and slid down to stroke her clit, sending her nerves spiraling with inconceivable want. His lips found their way to her ear once again, and he bit her earlobe. "I highly doubt it," he rasped.
She came with a deep, drawn-out cry, her ears ringing and her vision dotting with stars. He followed moments after her, uttering a cracked groan as he laid his head against her back, silent and panting. Rey toppled over, her arms and legs too weak to continue supporting her weight, and Kylo's head came to rest on her shoulder. She found that she was too spent to push him away.
Her entire body was pulsating in time to the thrum of her heartbeat, a numbing, almost-supernatural euphoria settling into her senses as she started to cool down. Seconds ticked by, and Kylo soon lifted his head to gaze at her, raising a cautious, trembling hand to brush a loose strand of hair from her face. That same hand cupped her cheek in an appallingly blatant show of affection, the pad of his thumb circling her lips.
For just a moment, Rey allowed herself to revel in the sensation, in the touch she so desperately craved. Kylo regarded her with a hazy sort of awe, like she was the answer to a prayer, the lilting melody of a song that wouldn't leave his head. And then, to her unabashed astonishment, he leaned down and kissed her; not with the same carnal, intemperate need that he had exhibited before, but with a gentle tenderness that was as disarming as it was... enjoyable. Rey sighed against his lips, her fingers once again entwining themselves in his hair. Her eyes fluttered shut, and she felt the warmth suddenly elude her body, the euphoria fading, Kylo's touch suddenly a dull, distant memory. As the world around her melted away, his voice was the last thing that echoed through her head:
"Come find me, Rey... I'll be waiting…"
The promise trailed off in a whisper that was soon eclipsed by the roar of a sea at high-tide. Cold, biting air fanned at Rey's once-flaming skin. A gentle ocean mist sprayed against her cheeks. The ground beneath her was no longer hot and undulating like a presence in and of itself, but cold, and flat, and rough. Frowning, she opened her eyes, gasping and sitting upright.
She was back on the island. Her staff and its accompanying holster had been discarded several feet away from her, and she was completely alone. The only reminder of previous events that persisted was the faint, throbbing ache between her thighs, and the still-frantic racing of her heart.
Rey shut her eyes, hanging her head in shame and defeat. She sat like this for a while, mentally kicking herself for her weakness, her recklessness, her stupidity.
She despised that man. Stars above, how she despised him…
And then, rising on trembling legs and collecting her saberstaff, she began the long walk back to camp.