"This is Home"
Shakespeare's Lemonade
Rating: K
Genre: Friendship/Family/Angst
Summary: Billy never thought going home would feel like this. Of course, his lengthy definition of 'home' didn't really help make sense of anything. Set during "Proof of Life."
A/N: The title of this story came from the Jon Foreman (Switchfoot) song. The whole song sort of fits with this story.
Bags packed and boarding passes in hand and Billy feels lost. The guys keep saying that word over and over again. "Home."
Until now, Billy really didn't think of it. He would say he wanted to go back to the US as much as the others. Maybe not as much as Rick. And now that he thinks of it, not really as much as Michael or Casey or Balshik.
Of course, Billy would say he doesn't care as much as they do. That getting kicked out of one country leaves him reluctant to form attachments. But that's not really true either.
No, Billy is afraid. Afraid that after all their hard work, and all he's been through, he might just end up in an American prison, which is little better than being deported. Or worse. It depends.
It's really a toss up whether they return as heroes or criminals. Billy has never thought of himself as a criminal, but two major governments are hard to argue with.
He's never really considered himself a hero either. He's just a simple guy who loves his job. Or did, before he was sold out with the rest of them. But he still enjoys it. Running around the world, trying to stop someone from causing more havoc.
So, that someone happens to be a former friend. Billy has no delusions about Simms. The man broke. He betrayed them, knowing what would happen.
At this point, Billy could really start to feel bitter about everything, but he doesn't, because it just wouldn't work. He tried once when he was deported and learned that he can't live that way.
Besides, if he looks at everything, he realizes he has more than a lot of people. He's on a team on which every member is willing to sacrifice everything for the others. Even others they've never met. Billy was only half surprised at how readily Rick joined them to look for Simms. And Billy never would have been okay will kicking Rick off the team after that, even if Simms did come back.
It's Rick's excitement that makes Billy feel like he's actually going home. Home has become something different to him. It's not a country or a house or an apartment. It's that little office with four desks and three other men willing to do anything for each other. The three people in the world he can trust. His home is with them. It's been with them all along.
So, while the others are thrilled—or in Casey's case, less sour than usual—Billy has mixed feelings. If his second country welcomes him with open arms, fine. If not, he'll have to take that chance, because of Michael, Casey, and Rick. It's their home, so it's his too.
As they step onto American soil for the first time in two months, everyone knows there's more to be done. Rick takes the plates to Adele and the rest of the lay low.
In the morning, they'll all find out whether they're still criminals or heroes. But it doesn't matter to Billy because this is home.
"This is home. Now I'm finally where I belong, where I belong. Yeah, this is home. I've been searching for a place of my own. Now I've found it. Maybe this is home. Yeah, this is home."