Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Rent characters and I apologize for any damage I may do to the great Johnathan Larson's play.
Chapter 1: You're Eyes
I've spent the last two weeks in the hospital. I'm afraid to leave her side. Any second could be the last and I don't want to miss it. I don't want her to die alone... I'm terrified of dying and watching Mimi, knowing that every breath could be her last has made it so much more real. That will be me in a few years and that scares the shit out of me.
Someone taps my shoulder and I turn to look into the sympathetic eyes of my best friend, Mark. "How's she doing?" he asks.
"How's it look like she's doing?" I snap.
"Sorry," he mumbles. I feel bad for Mark sometimes. First of all his friends are dying and second he's just such a pushover. He could do so much better then Alphabet City but he stays and I know its because of us, Collins, Mimi and I. He doesn't want to leave us behind, he feels bad, like he has to protect us or something. We appreciate it but I know I could take care of myself. And sometimes he just lets it go to far. When I was dating April, I use to borrow money from him and spend it on heroin. He knew that was what I was doing but he couldn't say no. He's a great guy, more of a heart then I'll ever have. He helped me through withdrawal, even after what I put him through and trust me I did a lot of bad shit.
Mark hasn't looked away from Mimi since he came in. I turn back to my girlfriend and my heart stops. Her breathing has become more sporadic in the last five minutes. She looks like death but I still think she's beautiful. As long as I can see her eyes she'll always be gorgeous. She gasps in pain and I move onto the bed.
"Mimi, don't do this again. I know you can pull through it. It was just a little cold. Be strong," I urge her quietly. She grabs my hand and squeezes it weakly.
"Sing me a song," she whispers.
I smile warmly at her and Mark passes me my guitar. I strum a few chords and softly sing our song but my mind is somewhere else. I love Mimi so much and its unfair how little time we've had together. How wrong is it that the two women I've loved have been killed by the same disease. Sure, April didn't technically die of AIDS but if she didn't have it she wouldn't have killed herself. The same monster is killing me and half my friends. God forget about dying with dignity, maybe April was right, better kill yourself then let this thing tear you apart slowly. Mimi looks so sick and pale, it scares me to admit that Collins hasn't been looking much better.
I stop playing my guitar. Mimi's hand is slipping off my leg. I look at her and those gorgeous eyes are staring ahead of her. "No, Mimi, please don't go, I need you," I plead and grab her hand in mine.
She looks at me and smiles. "I'll see you again soon Rog, I love you," and with that I know she's gone.
I can feel tears running down my cheeks and Mark's hand on my shoulder. I knew I wasn't going to have much more with her but I could never have been ready. Mimi made me whole after April. She came looking for a light and all of a sudden I could see the world again. She got me out of the loft, to smile, to love and to feel. Without her I don't know if I can go on.
"Roger come on we should call, Collins," Mark whispers.
"No, I don't care anymore."
"Please you know she wouldn't want you to do this again."
I tear my eyes off Mimi to look at him. He's crying but I don't care. "Wouldn't want me to do what?"
"Lock everyone out. That's not going to bring her back."
"I'm not locking anyone out," I cry angrily.
"Bullshit. You did this last time, too. You pretend like nothings wrong but you let yourself be torn apart. Damn it Roger last time you didn't leave the apartment for six months. I came home every night afraid I would find you dead or just gone. You can't do that again, what if there's no Mimi to save you this time? What are you going to do sulk around the house until this fucking disease eats you alive," Mark yells at me. I'm so shocked I don't answer and he goes on this time in a whisper. "Angel's dead, April's dead, Mimi's dead but you're not Roger. She wouldn't want you to waste what days you have left pretending you can't feel."
Mark reaches out and pulls me into a hug and I can feel my walls breaking. Tears are streaming down my face and I don't bother to fight it off. "She was my angel, I don't want her to die," I whisper.
Mark squeezes me tighter and says, "I know, but she doesn't want you to either."
He's right and I know it. I get up and wipe the tears from my eyes. I start to leave but turn back to Mimi. I lower my hand to her face and close her lifeless eyes. "I want to remember you full of life and joy, your eyes were where I could see your life. I'll see you again soon and you can barge in on me and my guitar one last time."
A.N: Well I hoped you like it so far. I'm taking a break from my usual Harry Potter fics. I've been hopelessly obssessed with RENT since i was eight so I figured I'd give it a shot. Next chapter: Collins. Please Review!