Gentlemen Prefer Blonds

Author's Note: Here Be Dragons.

This story contains elements some of you may be uncomfortable with. I ask only that you read it with an open mind and heart. This is not intended to be shocking, just a view of events seen from a slightly different angle that may change your perception of how certain things happened.

All characters remain the property of their original creators. No copyright infringement is intended.

Amanda took the file from Billy with only the slightest of guilty looks at Lee. She had promised to help him with sorting out his expenses before the Oversight Committee got hold of them, but she knew he'd understand that any assignment handed to her by Billy was going to take precedence.

"Now it's light surveillance, hands-off stuff," Billy was saying as she flipped it open.

"Oh wow!"she couldn't help herself saying as it fell open to the photo of a very handsome man. She felt Lee go on alert beside her and he leaned over to get his own look at the photo, a man named Alan Chamberlain according to the paperwork opposite.

"Oh wow," he repeated, although in a slightly flatter tone as he took in how drop-dead gorgeous the man was, a tone that Francine was quick to pick up on, even if she completely misunderstood it.

"Jealous, Scarecrow?" She delivered the jibe with a certain amount of malicious glee, eager to see what he'd say with Amanda standing right there.

Lee knew exactly what she was up to, and wondered why she still felt the need to explain away Amanda's place as his partner as some kind of romantic attachment after all the times Amanda had proven herself. He was annoyed, however, that his helping hand with the paperwork had just been snatched out from under him, and if he were honest with himself, he was also annoyed about that approving noise Amanda had just made, so he did what he usually tried to avoid doing and took her up on the challenge.

"Now why would I be jealous, Francine?" he asked in dulcet tones that should have tipped her off.

"That Amanda gets to spend all day trailing such a sublime specimen of masculinity, of course," she cooed.

Lee paused and pretended to study the folder that Amanda was still holding open before glancing back up coolly and saying, "Not really. I prefer my boyfriends more like Robert Redford."

He said it with such deadpan delivery that Francine was taken aback, suddenly uncertain whether he meant it or not. Something about the stifled snort from Amanda left her even more off-balance, wondering if there was a joke she wasn't getting, not for the first time. Lee continued to stare at her expressionlessly, daring her to respond, until finally, to his great satisfaction, she blinked, but turned her guns back on Amanda.

"Ah, you'd better wear your little tennis shoes, Dear, because Chamberlain travels in a little faster circles than you're used to."

Amanda was, as usual, completely unfazed by the verbal attack and simply turned to Lee with a smile. "Maybe we should trade jobs. I'm sure I can explain your paperwork to the committee much better than you can and, type or not, you'd probably have more fun following this Chamberlain guy around."

"Oh no, you take this one. I'll wait for the next pretty blond."

Billy was quick to see the conspiratorial smile they exchanged over this series of quips, although Francine was still just watching them like a ping-pong match where she didn't understand the rules. He hid his own grin as he pretended to lecture Lee, "You're not getting out of this one anyway, Scarecrow. Congresswoman Faber is particularly interested in meeting you to discuss your expense claims this year."

Lee grimaced, while Francine rocked with laughter and Amanda gave him a sympathetic look. "Is she that bad?" she asked, sincerely worried for him.

"She's a pain in the ass is what she is," Lee answered. "She's like an old-timey school marm, all about the rules on the surface, but digging for the salacious details while pretending to be shocked. I guarantee you she'll want to know all about the Flying Federovas."

Amanda scrunched up her nose to think about that one. Lee could barely contain a fond smile at the sight – she had no idea how much like a small fluffy kitten she looked like when she did that.

"The Flying Federovas? The underwear ones, right?" She waited for Lee to nod then went burst out laughing and went on. "Is it in the file that the twins were 12 years old and the underwear had Barbie on them?" She turned to look at Billy and Francine who were watching the entire conversation open-mouthed. "You remember – Lee was tracking that Czechoslovakian agent, Bartos, who was hiding out undercover in the Moscow Circus when it came to town last year and he convinced those child acrobats to shimmy up the drainpipe to Bartos' room and plant a bug for him. He had to bribe them with Hershey bars and pink underwear."

"And blue jeans for their mother," added Lee.

"Is that all you gave the mother?" asked Francine, unable to resist re-entering the conversation.

"That's all she wanted. Now the father, on the other hand…" Lee trailed off, still itching to wipe that look off Francine's face once and for all.

"He was blond, wasn't he?" asked Amanda helpfully.

"He was, a real Slavic blond and built like Johnny Weissmuller," Lee let his voice drop expressively, and pretended to stare into space, all the while watching Francine out of the corner of his eye as she watched the conversation turn on her again.

"Well, good luck with that then. I better get going," said Amanda hurriedly, the laughter she was trying to contain only noticeable to Lee, attuned as he was to every nuance of her voice. "I'll report back later, Mr. Melrose. See you later, Francine!" She almost ran out of the office, desperate to get away before Francine got more suspicious.

Francine watched her leave, then turned to look speculatively at Lee who had his innocent expression back on, then at Billy who returned her look with a smile and asked, "Shouldn't you be getting your expense report ready as well, Desmond? I'm sure Congresswoman Faber is probably going to want to know why you "needed" that Valentino gown last month, and I certainly don't have a good explanation for it."

He and Lee watched as Francine went pale and bolted from the room, showing the clear signs of someone fearful of losing a beloved expense account. Lee allowed himself a small chuckle at her distress before pushing himself off the wall he was leaning on and heading the door himself.

"I take it from that little exchange that Amanda knows more about you than I gave her credit for," remarked Billy before he could reach the door. He was leaning back in his chair and staring at Lee with interest.

Lee halted mid-step and turned to look at him. "We don't have a whole lot of secrets between us, you know that, Billy."

"It doesn't appear to have affected her friendship with you. That doesn't surprise me but just when did she find out that particular one?" asked Billy.

Lee gave a snort of laughter. "She knew the first week we met apparently."

"Apparently?" Billy was quick to pick up on the qualifier. "You didn't tell her?"

"No, but I found out last spring that she knew all along." Lee paused and then elaborated on that answer. "Well, actually, in her words, she thought I was only gay until Eva came along. Up until then she thought I was just really very good at pretending to be interested in women." He met Billy's look of astonishment with a shrug. "She's pretty remarkable, you know."

"I always knew that but I'm just beginning to appreciate how truly remarkable she is," answered Billy.

Lee thought back to everything he'd learned about Amanda over the last few weeks. For a moment, he wondered if he should tell Billy about what he'd discovered about Munich, but just as quickly dismissed the idea. He owed her his protection from that story getting out. He realized Billy was still looking at him. "I know the feeling, Billy."