Host: Good evening Ladies and Gentleman we are here to present the Inuya-
Audience: SHUT UP YOU IDIOT! First of all we are not ladies and Gentle- whatever. WE are fans of Artemis, SO GET AWAY with your retarded brain.
Alma Divine: YOU ARE FRIED- I MEAN FIRED. Actually lets fry you. (Takes a large frying pan, knock him out with it and them put him on him) Who wants a fried host?
(Audience stands up and cheer and Alma Divine starts throwing pieces of his body to the audience, takes his leg and eat it)
Alma Divine: NOW, I'm the new host and I'll introduce the characters. (Artemis appears on stage) Artemis fowl, the 16-year-old genius. He-
Artemis: HEY WHAT AM I DOING ON THE STAGE.
Lilia Pad: SHUT UP you knucklehead (takes a zapper and zaps Artemis) Next is-
Artemis: I'M NOT DONE! DON'T YOU DARE TO IGNORE ME LIKE THAT. BUTLER?
(Butler appears next to Artemis)
Butler: (Pulls out a saucer and run to Artemis) What is it?
Artemis: SHE IS ANNOYING! DESTROY HER!
Butler: You are also very annoying Artemis. But I bear with you all the time (When said Artemis put on his offended face)(Holly appears)
Holly: Yeah Artemis! Come on just try.
Artemis: B-but I don't w-w-want to.
Butler and Holly in Sync: TRY
Alma Divine: Are you done with you heart to heart talk because THIS show has to get rollin'.
(Chix appears): Holly, will you marry me? (Holly takes the giant frying pan and beat him to smithers, then attempts to fry him but he is too bloody)
Alma Divine: (talks to the light man): Hey who told you to make him appear you f-Beeeeeeeping b-Beeeeping. Hey why can't I beeeeeeping swear in this beeeeping program? Makes me swear. (Takes out neutrino and shoot the light guy five times) Ah that's better.
Everyone stares at her like if she was mad.
Alma Divine: (points neutrino at Holly and the rest) ANYBODY WANTS MORE (Everybody shakes head) THAT'S what I thought now disappear-apart from you Artemis. (Artemis gulps). OKAY as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted. Artemis fowl, the 16-year-old genius. He kidnapped his best friend, Holly, but eventually became good. Now he is back to best friend and maybe loves her.
Artemis blush hot red and says: I DON'T LOVE HER. WE ARE JUST BEST FRIEND. (Alma Divine point neutrino at him, he backs away slowly; and then run for the exit, but two elves dragged him back with him screaming: NO, NO HELP ME MUMMY HELP ME NO I DON'T WANT TO NOOOOOOOOOO, MUMMYYYYYY!)
Alma Divine: Now that fiasco is over here is Butler; the man mountain/bodyguard. (Butler appear)
Butler: This is like the second time I've been here
Alma Divine: SHUT UP YOU F-BEEEPING A-BEEEEP.
(For Alma Divine I'm going to write AD)
AD: Juliet Butler, Sister of man mountain and professional boxer; Chix verbal; Awesome Holly lover; Trouble Kelp; officer and trouble manager and his brother Grub; boy who wants his mommy. Foaly; the genius who thinks he's smarted than Arty-
Foaly: I AM SMARTER OK so-
Artemis- don't call me arty ever again (turning bright pink with an angry look.)
AD: Ok, OK sheeh no need to get angry; next is Beetroot; Commander of LEP with an anger management problem.
Root: (ANGER RISING IN HIM AND HE BECOMES RED) I DON'T HAVE AN ANGER MANAGEMENT PROBLEM CIVILIAN AND NEXT TIME YOU SAY THAT PIXIE I'LL BLAST YOU'RE HEAD OF.
Grub: I want my mommy.
AD: Anyway these are the characters we'll be back after the break and commercial. R&R
Commercial
Grub is walking in the street and suddenly get captured by AD. People don't leave your children in the streets or you'll be in big trouble with trouble. Instead talk to him but be sure to get away from root.
Root: I DON'T HAVE AN- (GET A CLOTH stuck in his mouth)
You heard me talk to trouble about your troubles.