dedication
A dozen or so grunts stood in a perfectly straight formation, looking the best they could with their striped t-shirts and blue jeans. According to some of their friends, the bandanas were what made or break one's individual uniform, but those weren't even passed out yet. It had been a few days since their graduation ceremony, which promoted them to full-fledged Team Aqua grunts, but their boss was so busy with something he didn't have time to pass out any of their cool gadgets.
Now was the time, though, Aqua Commander Shelly had said to them earlier that afternoon. It was now six p.m., and the dozen or so grunts had been in formation by the pool for about three or four hours. They stood there, restless, while neither the commander or the boss made any appearance to them. It was annoying. The majority of the group began thinking back as to why they joined Team Aqua in the first place, reasons that mostly revolved around their love for water and water-type pokemon. But they were also promised by various recruiters and friends a strong and reliable leader, the great and macho Archie of Slateport City, backed by hundreds of loyal supporters. Rumors bragged of his noble shunnings of the Marines to become a fearsome pirate for several years, not even backing down from wild Sharpedo. If they had such a leader as Archie, they could surely crush that dirty, stuffy Team Magma and win the Hoenn region over with the ultimate forces of water.
But he was not there. As another hour passed, a few of them stretched their arms and bent their knees, about to leave when a muffled noise came from the room next to them. They quickly reassumed position just as Aqua Commander Shelly pushed the great and macho Archie into the room, front and center. Though they could not voice their opinions, the grunts noticed something was wrong. Even with his rugged facial hair and newfounded tan, the man looked visibly shaken. He kept silent until the commander punched him in the arm, forcing him to break the silence by taking out a few crumpled pieces of paper from his pockets. "Well, uh," the boss began, biting his lip, "welcome to your new lives, grunts. Today you are no longer rookies with respectable society jobs but Team Aqua grunts with awesome bandanas and a mission to expand the ways of the water. I am your cool boss, Archie, and I…I…I can't do this."
He tossed his speech into the pool, prompting Aqua Commander Shelly to sigh. "Not this crap again," she muttered, rolling her eyes.
"Shelly, you'll never know how to swim free! It's a lifestyle!" Archie shot back, punching a fist in the air. Turning to the grunts, who remained quiet yet confused, the boss sighed. "Look, guys, I was gonna give some long speech about glory and global aquafication and junk,but the truth is that all of the average baddie bosses do that on the first day. Instead, let me give you some life advice. First off, swim. free. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise, 'cause they're WRONG. Always pack plenty of swim trunks, no matter what season it is. And pick comrades who will be more than happy to dye their hair for you in the event of pure catastrophe."
"For the last time, Boss, I'm not changing my hair back!"
It was then that some of the grunts decided to get some answers. Saluting, one asked, "What kind of pure catastrophe are we talking about?"
Another inquired, "And what does 'swim free' even mean?"
But it all fell on deaf ears as their fearsome leader stripped down to his bare shorts and dove into the pool, screaming something about someone called Rin and another someone called Haru. It was only then that they knew in their hearts that only the most dedicated would survive a boss like this.
(Original notes: If they thought Team Magma was any better after this, Maxie had a similar (though not nearly as extreme) reaction to Haikyuu.)
Originally written September 26th, 2014 on tumblr. I am 99% sure I wrote this after the second season of Free! ended rip. I stand by my decision.