Title: Regret
Part: 1/1
Author: Siren M
Genre: yaoi,
Pairing: akako
Rating: dunno G I guess *scratches head*
Archive: sd fic archive, fanfiction.net and whoever wants to put it in their shrine, just tell me about it, ^_^V Arigatou!
Email:kitsunes@hotmail.com
Warning: yaoi, shounen ai.
Author's Notes: [this] words are thoughts and /flashbacks/ if any. This is for Akamitko no Miko and my other fellow seishis. ^^` I know, it certainly took a very long time, in deed. But I couldn't write one that was satisfactory. I deleted three files I was writing! Arghh, Sumimasen!!!
Disclaimer: nothing belongs to me, T_T not even the storyline. So don't sue me, you won't get anything except perhaps a nice large bill from your own lawyer.

Regret

Autumn was here. The leaves were beginning to turn copper and gold, falling from the trees in their graceful dance with the wind. The cafe was barely crowded, it was late evening after all, many patrons were rushing to return home to their family for dinner but the two young men sitting at a corner didn't seem to be in a hurry as they silently sipped at their drinks.

Mitsui Hisashi lifted his head to look at his ex-team mate? ex-school mate? ex-boyfriend perhaps? No, they didn't even go to the extent of really being friends. Mitsui never gave them a chance to, but... what really mattered was that it has been nearly five years since he saw him and...

[I miss you...]

"It's been five years ne?" the former bespectacled boy said silently. He had traded his glasses for a pair of contact lens and he really look good with his new image.

"Aa..."

Silence reign over two men as they searched about their minds for something to converse about in order to break the uneasy stillness. The sound of metal clinking against porcelain was the only sound exchanging between them for a long time. Absently, Kogure wondered why he had agreed on Mitsui's invitation for a cup of coffee.

Having a break from his usual hectic working schedule for a day, Kogure went to the mall to buy some groceries for dinner when he stumbled across the famous basketball player. Maybe it was the fact that they never had the chance to do anything like this before when they could have... maybe that prompted him to accept the invitation.

"How is Akagi?"

"Takenori is fine," Kogure answered, the name rolling easily against his tongue.

Mitsui looked down at his coffee, placing the spoon down. He didn't know why he asked but it was the only thing he could think of at the moment. However, what he really wanted to ask wasn't how Akagi was faring. It was not him at all that he wanted to ask about...

"He's working as a professor at the Kanagawa University," the brown haired boy continued, looking down at his own cup of coffee, "He's teaching physics there."

[What about you? What are you doing?] Mitsui wanted to ask but his mouth refused to form the words. [Are you happy, with him? Is he treating you right?] "Aa. How fitting." the basketball star said instead.

"Indeed ne." Kogure said with a terse chuckle. "He could control even the most difficult student."

"Really." the tense silence settled over them again. Mitsui fidgeted a little.

[There's so many things I want to tell you.] Mitsui thought, watching discreetly as Kogure sip his coffee. [So many things to ask you. So many things left unsaid.] He shifted his gaze down at his cup again. For a long while, no one said anything.

"You know," Mitsui looked up, noting that Kogure had drop the smile from his face, looking grimly at his cup.

"I never really gave up hope on you during those years before you left." Kogure said softly.

Mitsui stared at soft spoken boy in front of him as the words that he couldn't bring himself say flowed out of the soft lips. Kogure was so much braver than him. Even then, when Mitsui and his gang had caused trouble in the basketball court in their third year, he had confronted Mitsui speaking the words that was the truth. And truth hurts, a lot. More than any weapon.

"I would have waited for you if you had just...," Kogure closed his eyes. "...given us a chance."

"I..." [I'm such a coward!] was all that flashed through his mind. [Why?! Why can't I say the things that I want to?]

"But you left," Kogure continued when he didn't get any response from Mitsui. "Without even a good bye."

Mitsui clenched his fist, not knowing what to say. [Say anything! Just don't leave it hanging like the last time! Dammit!]

"There wasn't a need for you to leave, you know," Kogure whispered, "All you had to do was just tell me...and I would have just stopped hoping..."

[No answer.] Kogure thought to himself, turning his cup about in its saucer. [Just like the time when I finally had the courage to tell you how I felt.]

The silence was killing him, Kogure decided. He lifted his cup and drank the remnants of his coffee. Bitter. That was how he liked it. No sugar, no milk. Every time he drank coffee, he would be reminded of something.

C'est La Vie. That's life.

"Sometimes...I wondered...if I didn't leave...would things have been the same..." Finally, a response from the silent one.

[Yes, maybe things would have been different.] Kogure thought, surveying the scenery outside. The wind was blowing hard and it was autumn. He would probably be freezing when he got home, and Akagi would probably fuss over him. And then, he would berate him for forgetting to bring his coat when he went out.

[Or perhaps, it would have just ended the same way.] Kogure thought, eyes moving towards the clock anywhere but to the man sitting opposite him. Too many memories. [After all, you need two to tango.] Too much pain. [But you didn't want me.] Too silent. [That's why you left, isn't it?]

"Does it matter anymore?" the silent reply he was the only thing he could offer. [Like they say, let bygones be bygones ne...]

"........"

"I better go...Takenori...he's waiting for me...."

[We could have so much more...but we let it pass by us because you were too afraid. Now...]

"Kiminobu..."

"I'll see you around ne? Mitsui-kun?"

[...we have our own lives to live and a future to see...]

[...only that...we won't share that future together...but with someone else...]

The basketball player could only watch in silence as the brown haired boy collected his bag and walked out of the cafe. He continued to watch as Kiminobu disappeared behind the crowd. He could only watch with regret gnawing at his heart...

Owari

^__^` Plz don't kill me...