Warnings: Abuse, yaoi, major angst...etc.etc.etc.
A/N: Once agin, I'm so sorry, Yamato...
Yamato's POV
I sigh as I walk to school. Another day, another test, another goddamn set of hours I have to stay in this f*cking place. And afterwards I'll go home. And at home I'll cook dinner for Masaheru. And he'll come home and hate whatever it is I make, no matter what I try to do, no matter how many times I try to make something I think he'd like. It's never good enough for him. And then the next day, the cycle will start again.
"Life
is
a spider's web
catching
as you try
in vain
to escape
the world
and you
are a
single
fly
caught
waiting
to be
eaten."
Sure, I'd been part of the Digidestined when I was a kid. But now? Who really gave a damn that I'd helped save the world? Who remembered? Oh, sure, Tai still gets people going up to him, saying 'Aren't you that kid who was there, who helped save the world?'
Yeah, that was Yagami Taichi all right.
But then again, Tai's prominent, Captain of the Soccer team, his hair and goggles a defining symbol synonymous with victory. Tai isn't a stupid student who doesn't go through a day without seeing the Principal and being threatened with expulsion.
Ha. Expulsion. Like I really give a sh*t.
"Ishida, are you paying attention?!"
Damned science teacher. I would love to go up to her and spit in her face, informing her no one really cares whether they know how the hell their bodies work or whatever sh*t we're currently discussing. I'm not even sure anymore.
"Ishida! Go to the office!"
Again. Again with the office. No one wants me in class anymore. After all, I don't do anything, so why should I take up space? It's not as if any of it matters.
It's not as if I matter.
"Yamato."
Sh*t. It's him. My...boyfriend. I thought I wouldn't see him today, not anywhere, definitely not at my locker, but there he is, waiting for me, once again with those eyes looking at me.
"I thought you were coming over to see me yesterday, Yamato."
His eyes are so cold, so full of that burning anger only I can see. I must really have hurt him yesterday by not showing up. Everyone else looks at him and sees only the happy guy he wants them to see. They see the nice, popular guy who everyone goes to for advice. That's who he is.
"I got busy," I mumble, not looking up as I put a binder in my locker. What a great lie, Yamato.
Suddenly, he slams the door on my hand, and I have to bite my lip to keep from crying out. "You'd better not be busy today," he warns, walking off.
I count to thirty, making sure he's really gone before I pull the door open, shoving the rest of my books in. I don't really care that I'm going to miss class and Masaheru's going to kill me.
If he notices.
I gotta go home before I go over to his house. I gotta change, gotta make dinner...gotta stop these tears. I'm empty, empty, empty...
"Falling
falling
running
weeping
sobbing
lost
alone
empty."
I enter his home through the passageway he showed me before. It's not that he wants me to be kept a secret--that much I'm sure of, he's flaunted me before--but that it's a way of making me feel as he wants me to.
Let's get this straight. He's never so much as kissed me without my consent. He's not that kind of person.
No, not my Kyousuke.
"You're late."
So, he was waiting. He hates waiting. Always impatient. "Sorry."
"No, you're not. You never are."
He's right.
"Goddamnit, Yamato, what the hell is wrong with you?"
I don't know.
"You're always so f*cking late, and all I'm doing is trying my hardest to help you!"
I know.
"Come on, I've got a sh*t load of homework, and I want to talk to you first."
I come before. I know...Kyousuke.
Entering his bedroom, I wonder what I did to deserve Kyousuke. He listens to me and sets me straight, if nothing else. Do I love him? I think I do. But I'm empty.
It's not like it matters.
A/N: R&R please! I'll put up the next chappie when there's at least 10 reviews, so if you like it make your friends read it! (I'm shamelessly review hunting...)