Why did I do it? Why did I pretend to die, and let you go on living while you grieved for me? Why didn't I let you take my place? In truth, I was just protecting myself. Like I always have.
"I don't understand. Do you have any idea what it was like!? To believe that the man I owed so much to, was dead?"
"John-"
"No of course you don't! You were off and away in some other county doing god knows what!"
"I tried to give you hints on my survival- but they had to be subtle or Morarity's people would target you again."
"Oh well I'm so sorry that I don't usually look for hints of survival when I see my best friend jump off a roof! And I don't care if they targeted me!" John let out a long exhale.
"Look Sherlock, I'm glad you care about me, but you don't have to go jumping off of roofs to prove you point. We're in this together."
Sherlock opened his mouth to reply but John beat him to it.
"And I know I wasn't the only one being targeted- but the pint is, your too important to loose. The world needs its only Consulting Detective. They need you Sherlock. Not me, not Lestrade, not even Mrs. Hudson. Don't become emotionally compromised for your friends Just let us take the fall for you."
There was a long pause.
"John...I will never let you, or Mrs. Hudson, or Gavin-"
"Greg-" he corrected.
"-or Greg, to take the fall for me." he shifted on his feet.
"Look, if you had taken that fall instead of me, I never could have lived with myself. You are stronger. You have friends, and you can make new ones. You could move on if my plan went astray." There was another long pause.
"I couldn't. You brought meaning to my life, other than just solving crimes and shooting bullets at the wall. You said the world needs me. Well I need you. I wouldn't be able to keep living. If you had died...I would have soon joined you..." he looked away.
"I was just protecting myself...like I always have. I know its selfish, I know I shouldn't have done it-"
Sherlock was cut off when John nearly suffocated him with a hug. He didn't tense up, he didn't push the doctor away. he held him in his arms for a long time.