Dear Diary,

Today, I have decided that I am going to become a new man. No one talks to or notices me and I am taking a stand for myself. They are going to know that Colin Creevey is not a dork. I am exchanging my animal rights activist shirts in for some "fly" clothes and I'm saving up the "G's" for some "budduz jank." I'm changing my name to Colin Creevay and I am swearing to myself, "straight up," right now, that I'm going to be the "Ginuwine British Playa." The American "ghetto girls" are going to be "feeling me," I'm sure. Oh, Diary! I'm so excited about my journey to becoming a playa. Later, because I have to go "get my freak on."

Signed,

Ginuwine British Playa



Deary Diary,

The road to becoming a playa is looking good. I've been watching some hip hop music videos and I've learned that I should like the way "Shorty" can "twerk" and "back it up." I really need to find out who this "Shorty" is. I could make her my "bitch" and she could "twerk" and "back it up" for me because I'm supposed to like that. I don't really know what it is, though. I need to ask someone what these words mean, because I've got to have a big vocabulary if I want to be a true British playa. I'm not going to ask Harry Potter, though. Sure, he's famous, but let's face it, he's no Lil Bow Wow.

WORD!,

The British Balla



Dear Diary,

My Pops isn't very happy with my request to go to Harlem to chill with my gansta brothers and sisters. When I told him that I wanted a Bentley because I am a real thug, he told me that they were too expensive, and I told him that if he had the crazy dollas that I had, that nothing would be too expensive. He told me that if I had so much money, then I could buy the wheels myself, and I said that I had bought some "bling blinging ice" with all of it and I temporarily didn't have any left. I'm getting a little frustrated because I can't locate this "Shorty." She can "hustle with it" like every "bitch," and to be the true British player, I need some "project chicks." I'm hoping I can find her soon.

One love,

The British Brotha



Dear Diary,

Forget Shorty. I can't find her anywhere, so instead, I'm looking for "Mary Jane." I heard about her from my "dawg" Ja Rule. She's probably just as fly as Shorty. Today Professor McGonagall was hating on me because I am a playa. I told her, "Minerva, you're trippin'." She gave me detention, but it's okay, because I have detention with my baby's momma, Katie Bell. Dennis is becoming a playa too, now. He traded in his Disney t-shirts yesterday for some budduz Fubu jank. I'm teaching the little whodie all I know. My road to playa-dom is complete.

Peace,

Dennis Creevay; Playa Extraordinaire

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Author's notes: I don't mean to be discriminating against anyone by this fic, so don't take it that way.. I don't hate, aight? I'm just annoyed with all the little wannabe ghetto people, so this is basically somethin laughing at them. They don't know what it's like. And don't think that "Ginuwine" is a misspelling of "genuine"... for those of you that don't know, Ginuwine is a hip hop artist.