Crack!fic
The speedy dark cat-like creature leapt over the ginger haired boy. Her luscious locks flowed freely in the brisk evening breeze. Now she was ready to start selling her collection of sea shells on the shoreline of her local beach.
However, when she got to the beach, everyone else was already selling sea shells. "Well that was a shit idea" she said, and went home to plan a new money making scheme.
So she sat, scheming away, and opportunity quite suddenly and literally jumped into her lap. It was her darling tom cat, Mr Fluffy. "I'll sell cats!" She exclaimed. Her brilliant idea would be brought to life by her very own Mr Fluffy. All she needed now was a Mrs Fluffy, so she could have lots of Fluffy kittens to sell.
She decided that no cat would do for her precious Mr Fluffy, except for the formidable Mrs Norris. Unfortunately, Mrs Norris was hidden away in Hogwarts Castle, forced into slavery by the vile and cruel squib, Mr Filch. She had lost a bet, which resulted in an unbreakable vow to serve him until his death.
"Time to stage a rescue mission, Mr Fluffy!"
….
After creeping through Hogwarts, skilfully avoiding Dementors, the Whomping Willow and several acromantula, she made it to the deepest bowels of the castle, wherein lay the source of all unbreakable vows. She managed to destroy the pulsating mass of magic by throwing a bucket of water over it, thus causing it to melt, a la the Wicked Witch of the West. Mrs Norris was freed from her Unbreakable Vow! Before Filch found out and re-bound Mrs Norris, she quickly grabbed her and hastened from the castle, as if the very hounds of Hell were chasing her.
Once safely ensconced in her favourite armchair, she let Mrs Norris and Mr Fluffy get better acquainted over a bowl of the finest cat food in all Britain. She would be up to her ears in kittens in no time!
Fin.