Written for QLFC Round 11
Prompt: Write about an unrequited (doesn't necessarily have to be) love coming true on a winter night(s).
Extra prompts: (word) muffle, (song) This is Why I Need You – Jesse Ruben, (phrase) walking down the road
Hogwarts – A Study of Magical Healing: Anapneo
Task: Write about a person who finds a way to breathe again. You may take this literally or metaphorically
Chic Spy Day: Write about Severus Snape
Saint Lucia: (character) Severus Snape
He'd always hated winter. Not that the other seasons were much better, really, since Severus tended to be miserable all year long, but winter was a unique form of torture. He could never get warm; the chill seemed to go right to his bones, no matter what. The sensation had only become more unpleasant since the end of the war, the lingering effects of Nagini's venom making every ache worse. Aside from the weather, there were the holidays. Christmas, in particular, never failed to put him in a dismal mood. Cheerful gift giving and spending time with people who cared were things he'd never gotten to be a part of.
Most years, Christmas found Severus holed up alone, getting spectacularly drunk. The alcohol could muffle his less pleasant feelings for a while, and really, he couldn't hope for much more than that. It was fine, until one year it wasn't.
"I'm not letting you spend another Christmas alone," Harry said, scowling in a way that Severus assumed was meant to be stern, but only served to make him look horribly, maddeningly endearing. How was it that even as a grown man, the one who'd killed the Dark Lord, he still seemed to have retained some sort of innocence?
"And why is that?" Severus asked, raising an eyebrow. "Haven't you made enough attempts at saving me?" Harry rescuing him from the floor of the Shrieking Shack, and then sitting at his bedside nearly every day while he recovered at St. Mungo's were both far more than anyone else would think to do for him. Sometimes in his dreams, he could still hear the younger man's comforting words.
'It's okay...It's okay now, Professor. You're safe.' Nobody had ever really spoken to him that way before, aside from Lily. Trying to keep as much of an emotional distance as he'd like after that was a losing battle. Harry had decided that they were friends, and after a few token protests, Severus had gone along with it, allowing them to get closer and closer. Once he'd noticed that first similarity, they just kept coming, until Severus realised that Harry had never been like James at all.
"...Severus, are you even listening to me?" Harry was frowning now, looking genuinely hurt that the older man wasn't excited about his Christmas plans. How long had he been talking while Severus was lost in thought?
"Of course I'm listening," he said with an automatic sneer, waving a hand dismissively. "I still don't see what about my holiday habits is so objectionable, though."
"Well, we're friends," Harry said with a shrug, starting to wander about the kitchen making tea as though he lived there. It bothered him a little, reawakening that persistent ache of loneliness. "I don't like the thought of you not having anyone to celebrate with. The Weasleys would love to have you, really. Don't you think it'd be a little better than sitting here feeling sorry for yourself?"
Severus stared pointedly out the window, so that he didn't have to look at those beautiful green eyes. What was Harry playing at, asking him to join his adoptive family for Christmas as though they were in a relationship? There was a deer walking down the road, right in front of his house, and the ironic reminder of James and Lily was almost enough to make him groan.
"I gave up feeling sorry for myself a long time ago, Potter," he lied, taking a seat at the table and watching as Harry poured the tea. He didn't even have to ask how Severus took his anymore, yet another example of how he'd let this go too far. If he'd never let Harry embark on his ridiculous quest to befriend him, then maybe he wouldn't be in this mess, pining after someone who would never want him.
"You deserve to be happy." Harry sat down across from him, giving him a serious look. "You never let anyone in, not really. Do you even have any friends other than me?"
"Minerva and I get together for tea every so often, not that it's any of your business."
"I'm sure Molly's already planning on knitting you a Weasley jumper," Harry said seriously, taking a sip of tea. "You wouldn't want to disappoint her by not showing up."
"Do you really think guilt-tripping works on me, or that I would even want one of those jumpers?" Severus asked, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his lips. The bright, garish colors characteristic of most of the jumpers really were ugly, he thought, but they did look warm, and nobody had ever made him something like that before. Maybe receiving one in black or even a dark green wouldn't be so bad.
"Probably not, but it's worth a shot," Harry replied with a chuckle, one hand inching forward across the table to brush against Severus'. He thought he noticed a hint of nervousness in the younger man's expression, but dismissed it. Surely it was just his imagination. "And I'd be disappointed too, if you didn't come."
That had no right to get to him as much as it did. One hand tightening around his own teacup, he let the other hold onto Harry's properly, as he tried to keep from looking too happy about the affection.
"I'll think about it," Severus mumbled, wondering when he'd gotten so soft. He had to get over this once and for all, and preferably soon, before Harry entered a relationship with someone. No need to break his own heart more than necessary.
By the time Christmas Eve rolled around, getting out of going to the Burrow proved impossible. Perhaps he could lock himself in his bedroom, though that would be rather childish…No, best to suffer through this with as much dignity as possible.
"Don't even think about it," Harry said, having caught his glance towards the stairs.
"Let's get this over with, then. Everyone is undoubtedly eager to see you, given how much time you've been spending here instead." In the two weeks since Harry had first invited him to join the family for Christmas, he'd been hanging around his house even more often than usual, including spending the night. Severus complained, of course, but he still draped a blanket over the younger man whenever he awoke to find him asleep on the couch.
"Can't you at least pretend to be looking forward to it? It'll be fun, I promise. You'll get to meet Rosie, too," Harry said, shrinking down a few wrapped gifts and shoving them in his pockets. His face lit up at the mention of his goddaughter, and try as he might, Severus couldn't muster up a single negative thought about how carelessly happy he looked.
"Ah, yes, because I enjoy meeting babies so much. You're making this sound better and better," he retorted sarcastically. Severus had never really understood why everyone got so excited about babies. He supposed they occasionally did something cute, but nothing to look forward to. Harry Potter holding a baby on the other hand...That, he could see the appeal in.
Before Harry had a chance to reply, Severus Apparated to the Burrow. Harry followed close behind, and as they entered the house together, Severus found himself already starting to tense up. These people had no fondness for him, no matter what platitudes they might have said to Harry.
As the hours dragged on, socializing with the extended Weasley family proved to be just as awkward as Severus had been expecting. Molly's continual poking and prodding about when Harry was going to re-enter the dating world only made things worse. Even now, years after he'd broken up with Ginny, Severus could barely resist the urge to hex the girl whenever they spoke. Having to watch Harry infatuated with someone new seemed like it wouldn't even be survivable.
Not long after Severus stepped outside for a few moments of quiet and fresh air, Harry followed him.
"Is it as bad as you thought?" he asked, seeming genuinely curious.
"Hermione is a decent conversationalist," Severus admitted grudgingly, not lingering too long on how strange it still felt to call his former students by their first names. "And I'll admit that the baby is...amusing."
Harry was visibly trying to suppress laughter, and a quiet snort slipped out regardless. Taking out his wand, he cast a warming charm over them both, and pressed a little closer as a way of subtly offering support, as though that sort of casual intimacy was perfectly natural between them. Severus hadn't even noticed that he'd been favoring his bad leg, still prone to pain and weakness from nerve damage, but apparently Harry had. He always noticed.
"I'm glad you came," Harry said quietly, and those simple words served to warm Severus's heart just as much as the charm. Everything seemed a little less harsh and miserable when he was the focus of that affectionate gaze.
"Me too," he admitted after a few moments, taking a chance and slowly winding an arm around Harry's waist. Severus couldn't recall being so nervous in years. He could see the Daily Prophet headline now, 'War hero dies of heart attack.'
"Is your leg bothering you?"
"Not as much anymore," he said. If only Harry knew the effect he had on him in moments like this. Severus wasn't sure there was a single other person in his life he'd smiled at so often. Not even Lily.
"Good," Harry murmured. "We can go home soon, I swear. You don't have to put up with everyone for much longer tonight."
"Home?" Severus echoed blankly, sure that he sounded idiotic. Had Harry just called his house home?
"Er, well, you know…" Harry was fidgeting slightly, staring intently at the moonlight reflecting off the snow rather than at Severus. "I just thought...I've kind of been putting off trying to find a place, and I know Ron and Hermione are probably getting sick of me living in their guest room...and we're..."
"Spit it out already," Severus retorted, though with less venom in his tone than there would be for anyone else. "Do you mean to say you've invited yourself to move in with me?"
Harry blushed, tensing as though in preparation for him to explode at him.
"Presumptuous brat," he grumbled instead, tone fond. "I suppose I could be persuaded to let you stay, since you've been forcing your so-called friendship on me for years as it is."
"Yeah?"
Before Severus could say anything, Harry's lips were pressing softly against his own. Surprised, he kissed back, eyes closing for a moment before he pulled away.
"Yeah."
"In that case, let's go back inside and say our goodbyes, so we can get home before you get too grumpy, hm?" Harry teased, connecting their lips in another brief but tender kiss before heading for the door.
Just like that, Severus felt lighter than he had in years. They'd need to talk about all of this when they got back home, but it certainly seemed like Harry loved him back. Years of thinking himself unlovable, and now, he'd somehow wound up with a live-in boyfriend without even trying. If all the time he'd spent suffering had earned him this, then it was worth it.
They were still holding hands as they walked back into the crowded sitting room, and he'd never felt more content.
