I'm waiting

All I could do was listen.

Listen to how she fought her cousin, even when I said not to.

Listen to how she kept standing up, instead of giving up.

Listen to how she almost died.

I was going to kill her.

I was going to yell, scream, accuse, and point.

Anything to show her how worried I was.

When I went to see her, they told me her heart wasn't beating.

I think I cried then.

I wanted to die.

I wanted her to wake up, to call me, to cry with me.

But she didn't wake up.

Her heart didn't start up again.

She left me alone.

I know I cried then.

He told me later it was his fault for pushing her to always get up, to keep fighting her cousin.

I told him she had loved him.

I told him that all she ever wanted was to be acknowledged by him.

I told him that it was his entire fault.

It wasn't really, and we both knew that.

But he cried anyways.

I shouted at him, blaming him for everything.

He took away everything from me.

He took away the person I loved most.

I hated him, and I would never forgive him.

I told him all of that, and I know she would have been mad at me for saying all those things.

I didn't care, it helped to blame someone.

It helped to blame someone other than me.

I dreamed that night, a long, terrifying dream.

She cried out for me, holding out her arms, eyes wide with terror.

And I couldn't move.

I couldn't move to her, and she slowly slid away.

The background changed, and suddenly I was back at the stadium.

There was a fight going on down below, and I leaned forward to get a better look.

I fell.

Landing on my feet, I looked up to see her bloody face.

"No, Kiba-kun, you're the one in pain." She whispered at me, coughing up blood as she struggled to stand.

I felt an unusual bubbling feeling.

Hate.

I hated Hyuuga Hinata.

It was all her fault.

She left me to die of heart break.

She made me feel pain.

I should pay her back.

She should know what it feels like to hurt.

And I charged towards her, a roar escaping my lips.

Her lips turned upwards, but just barely.

And they moved.

I woke up screaming.

I jumped out of my bed, heading towards my desk.

I rummaged through my desk with determination, ignoring the flood of tears, or the pup whining at me.

I found the scissors I was looking for.

If Hinata didn't have the right to live, neither did I.

Looking down at the sharp object, I wondered what way would bring the most pain.

I deserved it.

I began stabbing at my arm, hacking up the underside, wincing in pain.

I sighed in relief as my head became dizzy.

As I fell back onto my bed, knowing I was dying of blood lost, I thought back to my dream Hinata, and the last words she said.

"I'm waiting."

So, this was a tad dark…oh well. This was a "what-if-Hinata-had-died-because-of-Neji" thing….yeah…

Disclaimer at the bottom: I don't own.