"Get out."
The growl should have put me off. Really. It should have. It had been years since he had growled at me like that.
"No."
"Get out, Stiles. Before I throw you out."
"Derek you don't understand! She kissed me, okay? For like two seconds before I pushed her away. I didn't kiss her. I don't even like girls! Don't you glare at me like that. It's not my fault that I'm irresistible."
Maybe I deserved that growl.
"Don't make me repeat myself Stiles. It's over. You need to leave."
"So what, you're throwing away all we have for something that isn't even my fault? You really want me to go? That's going to make it fun for tomorrow."
Full Moon weekends were always the best. The humans would cook when the wolves returned, and when everyone had eaten they would pile in the lounge and watch movies. It was Isaac's turn to pick this week.
"You aren't welcome to come tomorrow, Stiles."
And okay wow that hurt way more than it should have. Derek probably took my silence as obedience and just kept going.
"You were welcome as the Alpha Mate. Now that you aren't, you're not. Get it? Good. Have a nice life Stiles. Clearly you don't need me in it."
Complete with a slamming door to the face. A bit clichéd for my liking.
"It was only a kiss."
It wasn't even a good one at that.
He rang Scott on his way home.
"Hey, can't talk. Family dinner, gotta go bye!"
And yeah okay. Dinner with Allison's family was a pretty important event. But Stiles just got dumped and it fucking hurt. He'd never been dumped before. There hadn't really been anyone else but Derek. Not since he had fallen paralyzed on top of him. Matt had said that they made a good pair, and well, Stiles had a lot of time to think about that. And maybe he had gone around to the Hale house that night freaking out, and maybe Derek had shushed him and proceeded to kiss him silly. And maybe that had been one of the best nights of his life. And now it was all ruined by some stupid junior thinking she had every right to kiss him because she was the Prom Princess. The look on Derek's face… No Stiles. Don't think about it. Just get home and you can wallow in self-pity and play assassins creed. By yourself. Alone. Just like you are now. Fuck. What happened to wolves mating for life?
"We can't hang out anymore, man. Derek's orders. Sorry."
This is all I get after ringing Scott for three hours the next morning. A text message after lunch. I know that the whole pack is at the Hale house already. And Derek has already forbidden anyone from speaking to me. I wonder what he told them. Did he tell them all I cheated on him? That we were over? That I was out of the pack? Scott didn't even bother asking for my side of the story. All I did was offer to help Sasha with her biology. She had been moved up a year, and was having a little bit of trouble with what she had missed. I never showed any signs of being interested, she just came onto me and I pushed her away the second her lips touched mine. I had Derek and my pack, I didn't need anyone else. I guess I don't have either of them now. School would be fun on Monday.
And it really, really was. Scott wouldn't acknowledge me in homeroom. Allison glanced back at me and that was it. Danny and Jackson didn't talk to me in chemistry. Erica, Boyd and Lydia breezed past me in calculus, and Isaac looked like a kicked puppy all through English. I didn't even bother going to lunch. I just sat in my jeep alone. By then time lacrosse practise rolled around, I didn't want to be anywhere near the school. I went home and sat in my room alone.
This continued for three months. I'd go to school, talk to nobody, go home, cook dinner, and go to bed. It was like a never ending cycle. I didn't see Derek even once during those months. I saw my father about once a week. We did Wednesday night dinner together. That's the only night our schedules matched up. I thought this would continue until the end of my school days, until my biology teacher held me back after class.
"Stiles, I'm worried about you. You're passing everything just fine, but it's been a few months since I've seen a smile on your face."
"I'm fine Mrs S, just a little stressed about it being the last year and everything." I attempted a reassuring smile, but I'm sure it looked like a grimace.
"Well if you're sure. Just know that there is no shame in wanting to talk to somebody."
A therapist. No thanks.
"I know, but its okay. Really I'm fine."
I wasn't.
I was getting tired of everything. So, so tired. I had just finished cooking a vegetarian lasagna when my dad told me he had to work late, and wouldn't be home for dinner. Usually I wouldn't mind, he does have the most demanding job in Beacon Hills, but it's my birthday. I'm finally 18. Legally an adult. And I'm alone. Again. I've received no phone calls, no texts and no emails all day. Nobody remembered. Not one person.
I decided to give it until midnight. I stayed up until it wasn't my birthday anymore. Then I decided to leave.
I'm not entirely sure what I did to deserve all of this. I would understand if I had been at fault. If I had the intention to cheat on you. But I didn't. I was helping a girl with her homework. A girl who made a stupid decision to kiss a taken man. A man who was stupidly in love with you. So stupidly in love that as soon as her lips touched mine, I pushed her away and told her that was unacceptable. So stupidly in love with you that the first thing I had to do was tell you. So stupidly in love that I actually expected you to make it all better and tell me that you still loved me. So stupidly in love that I can't stop loving you. It's been three months without you. And I don't think I can last a day longer alone. You were everything to me Derek, I can't function properly without you and the pack. I'm so alone Derek, I can't do this anymore. I would say I'm sorry. But I'm not. I'm not sorry that I love you so much that I literally cannot live without you by my side. I'm not sorry that I am nothing without you. I'm not sorry that I will always love you. I'll see you when it's your time. I'll be waiting for you at the gates. Stiles x