Disclaimer: I do not own HP or PJO, or any of the characters.

Author's Note: If you've never read Harry Potter or seen the movies, then you may have some trouble understanding it. It also helps to have read PJO. For any of you people without OCHPD (Obsessive Compulsive Harry Potter Disorder), you may want to know that apparate means to magically transport someone from one place to another, and only a full grown wizard can perform it. If someone younger wants to apparate, they have to hold hands with an adult as they apparate. Enjoy reading!

The school year at Hogwarts was coming to an end. The usual problem was arising: what to do with their summer holiday. The Golden Trio was lazily strolling down the hallways debating what to do.

"But Ron, I don't want to go on a Toilet Clogging Extravaganza again. We did that last summer," replied Hermione to one of Ron's suggestions.

"But I don't want to go to that Child Abuse Awareness conference that Harry wants us to go to either," pouted Ron, for he was very disappointed that Hermione didn't like his idea.

"Any ideas from you, Hermione?" asked Harry.

"Well, I do have a good one; my cousin, Zorra, goes to this special camp during the summer. She invited me to come and she said I could bring friends too. All she has to do is summon us over the border, and then we're in."

Harry and Ron looked at her as though she had just suggested going to the mall with Draco.

"Listen Hermione," Harry started, looking for a way to tell her how they felt, "no offense to your cousin's camp, but aren't camps a bit childish? I mean, shouldn't we do something fun this summer like, um..."

"Sitting around and doing nothing? Yes, Harry, that sounds like tons of fun," said Fred, who had just popped up.

"I think the idea of camp sounds simply smashing," stated George.

"No offense, but she wasn't inviting you two," Ron said.

"Oh, be quiet Ron, anyone can come!" Hermione smiled, happy that at least two people liked her idea.

The days passed and soon it was the last day of school. The train ride passed in a blur of excitement, and before the Trio knew it, they were standing on the platform waiting for their parents to pick them up. As they all sat there waiting for their parents (who were of course late), Hermione explained to Harry, Ron, Fred, and George about the camp.

"Zorra is a half-blood, which means that she is half human and half god. She's a demigod. Her mom is Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty and love, and her dad is my uncle."

Suddenly Draco strutted up, "Going to camp then, Granger?"

"You're not coming, Malfoy," Hermione whispered through clenched teeth.

"Yes I am. I've got money and weapons of mass destruction."

"Money and threats won't get you in," Hermione sniffed.

"You can come Draco," said Ron, eyeing Draco's pockets suspiciously for those weapons of mass destruction, "but only if I get the money." Draco threw some gold coins at Ron, who caught a few of them. Hermione rolled her eyes and pulled a cell phone out of her pocket. Fred, George, Ron, and Draco, who had never seen a cell phone before, backed away in terror. "She's got weapons of mass destruction," Ron whimpered. Hermione rolled her eyes and then smiled as she heard a familiar voice on the phone.

"Hey, Zorra, it's Hermione."

"Yeah, I'm coming."

"Yes, I've got five people coming with me."

"Yes, Zorra, they're guys. Don't get overly excited though, most of them are losers." The boys, who had been listening to only Hermione's end of the conversation, had a pretty good idea of what she was talking about, and were very offended.

"Yes, there's a blonde one."

"Yes, I do remember how you like blondies."

"So can you summon us over the border from here?"

"No? Okay, I'll have to find a professor or someone to transport us to right outside your camp, and then you can summon us."

"Okay, bye" Hermione hung up and explained, "The problem is that no mortal, even a wizard, can make it over the camp border. We have to be summoned by a demigod inside the camp. She can only summon us if we are standing in her view, because she has to know what we look like to summon us, so we have to find a professor to apparate with us."

Just then, Professor Snape strutted up to them. He whipped his cloak around marvelously and then flipped his greasy hair around in a way that would have been sexy, had it not been for the fact that the Trio and the others were showered with the grease from his hair. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation, and it sounds like you need a professor."

Hermione realized what was happening, "Oh, um, no thanks Professor! Um, we'll find someone else, you really don't need to."

"I shall do what I please, Miss Granger. Now hold your tongue or I shall take 50 bazillion points from Gryffindor. Now, where is this place?"

"Camp Half-Blood," Draco smirked, for the little ferret boy had just realized that Snape would be coming with them.

"Hold my hands children," Snape said. This was just about the last thing you would expect Professor Snape to say to Harry Potter and his friends. The students, too shocked to disobey, all grabbed each other's hands as Snape apparted with them.

When they all opened their eyes they were standing in a field with a tree in front of them. There was a big white house on a hill, and tons of kids in really stupid orange t-shirts running around. The air smelled distinctly of strawberries.

There was a big tree with what looked like a big golden rug on it, and a girl standing next to the tree. The girl had black hair that was almost as curly as Hermione's, and short skirt, and a bright orange t-shirt with Camp Half-Blood written on it.

She waved to Hermione, who waved back. It dawned on Harry and Ron that this was Hermione's cousin. It had been hard for them to imagine Hermione's family being anything other than textbooks.

A really fat, balding guy stood there in tiger striped sweats and sonic purple sneakers. He was clearly an FBI agent (Fat Balding Idiot); he nodded lazily to Zorra. Zorra held up both hands and she yelled "I SUMMON HERMIONE!" Hermione went flying past the tree and into a standing position next to Zorra. Harry and Ron could faintly hear the cousins fighting,

"Summon either the red haired, tall one, or the black haired kid with glasses. Try to leave out the tall guy in all black," Hermione said.

"No, I want blondie next. He's the hottest."

"Zorra, it really doesn't matter!"

"What's his name?"

"Draco. But really, choose the ginger or the four-eyes, not the blondie."

"I SUMMON DRACO!" Draco landed a bit less gracefully next to Hermione. Fred was summoned ("I SUMMON FRED"), and then George ("I SUMMON GEORGE").

Harry whispered to Ron, "I CHOOSE PIKACHU!" which caused both of them to collapse into nerdy giggles. Soon everyone over the border; a few kids came over the hill to greet them. The fat guy in the tiger striped jumpsuit groaned and then said,

"Welcome to Camp Half-Blood. Now, I'm Mr. D., also known as Dionysus, the god of grapes, wine, parties, alcoholics, and mental people. I don't want any crap from you visitors; otherwise I'll turn you into dolphins and sacrifice you to the gods," Snape had to smile; this man sure knew how to talk to children. "I'm sure that if what Zorra Granger has told us about her cousin is true, then she'll have told you everything about camp," He groaned again as Percy, Annabeth, and Grover walked up, "This here is Percy, he is our self absorbed hero here at Camp. He likes to save his friends' worthless butts," Harry looked at Percy and smiled. He realized that they looked practically identical, and that they had very similar lifestyles. "Here's Annabeth. The nerdy bookworm who thinks she knows everything." Hermione looked at Annabeth, realizing how much they had in common. "And here's Grover. He eats a lot." Ron looked at Grover as though he had just found his long lost brother.

An old geezer in a wheelchair rolled up and said, "There is a quest! An emergency! Percy, you must go on it because you are my favorite!"

Zorra rolled her eyes, "Oh my gods, Chiron, enough with the quests. Maybe we'll go on it later. Right now we have to show Hermione, Draco, and the dweebs where they're staying, and introduce them to the other campers."

So Harry, Hermione, Ron, Fred, George, Draco, Snape, Zorra, Mr. D., Chiron , Percy, Annabeth, and Grover all walked back towards the cabins; blissfully unaware of the odd, random, ridiculous, and life ending adventures that would await them.

Author's Note: Okay, I hope that you liked the first chapter. So please review and give compliments specifically on what you liked, or constructive criticism. Try not to be too mean when you review. Have a weird day.