I did not understand why I admired him so much. If anything, I should have been afraid. But who said I wasn't? I really was. I would never admit to it though. Shinobi must never admit to fear, especially one of another shinobi! This boy was different from other ninja though. I've heard a number of tales about him, stories of how he kills, how he feels no remorse.
His siblings even share these stories. It's said that it brings him pleasure to take one's life, to crush a person until breathing is no longer an option for them. His eyes were another thing to fear. Such demonic eyes, how could I have fallen in love with those eyes? With his soul? I think he knew I was watching him. I also knew by doing so I was risking my life. Have you ever seen him kill a person? It's the most frightening thing you could see. Especially if it's at night, that's when the monster in him is at its strongest. He puts a twisted smile on his innocent face as he watches his sand crush the body of a being.
How could I love him so much?
It's not like I wanted to love him. I did though. But why couldn't I fall in love with an average person..? I knew that deep down that was not what I wanted. Perhaps I did want to love him, perhaps not. Who knows, maybe this wasn't even love. Was it possible to love someone at the young age of twelve?
I'd hoped not.
No, no I did want it to be love. I enjoyed the sensations that ran through at the mere thought of Gaara. I liked the warmth in my stomach whenever I saw his sad face, even if it was from a distance. Oh, how I desired to make him happy, to see his face light up and for him to hold me. He wouldn't do such a thing though. That was not how he would act, especially after such a childhood. Yes, I would take on the task of watching him as a child, too. Even then I didn't dare speak to him, or even come into contact with him. I didn't think of him as a monster though.. I just feared the monster inside of him.
"Yumi, what are you doing..?"
I turned around to see my sister standing in the doorway. Nobody else lived with us, they were all dead.
I looked at the ground and spoke quietly, "I was just-"
"Don't watch him anymore. Don't watch him if you value your life." She cut me off.
I turned around and continued to stare out the window, "If I were to die or be killed of any circumstance, I think I'd like it to be by the hands of him."
"You'd like to die by such a monster?" she asked angrily.
My gaze was glued to Gaara as I spoke, "Please.. Don't call him such a harsh name."
"I hate you so much, you realize you're risking my life, too, right?"
"I do not realize." I heard her scoff at my response before walking off to her own room. Through the whole night I continued to watch him, no matter how much sleep tugged at my eye lids.
The Next Day-As Night Sets In..
I sat quietly on the step of a large sand building. Faint rings had collected around my eyes from lack of sleep. I rested my head in my arms as I continued to sit there. A sudden commotion caused me to slightly lift my head and look up. Children fled the area and adults shut their door and windows. I understood why too. Two people who quickly walked by me muttered,
"Let's go, Sabaku no Gaara is coming this way!"
A sudden feeling of excitement ran through my body at the thought of being around him, though fear also mixed in there. I pondered whether I should flee like the others, and decided that that would be best. It was true that if I were to die in any way, I'd like to be killed by him, but I wasn't sure if I wanted that moment to be today. I stood up slowly, my legs shaking as I did so. I was so tired from all my nights without sleep. I almost collapsed as I took small steps in the direction of my house. It already growing dark, and I tried my best to take faster steps, but I only ended up collapsing on my knees. I bit my lip and stood up once again, determined to get to my house. My eyes widened suddenly as I felt cold sand wrap around my ankles.
"Sabaku.. no Gaara." I whispered.
I felt a gush of adrenaline fill my being as sand slowly crept up my legs and around my torso. Nobody was coming to save, they all feared for their own lives. Not even my sister, who was a Chuunin would come to help me.
I gently struggled aginst the sand, though my tired efforts were not good enough to free myself. A gust of sand suddenly appeared in front of me, revealing a red haired boy with aqua eyes. The blood in my veins began rushing through me as a light blush appeared on my face. I mentally cringed at the feeling of the heat in my cheeks. I wasn't supposed to feel that way about him, especially at a time like that. He took a couple steps forward until he was directly in front of me. His hand went below my chin, lifting it so I would look him in the eyes.
He spoke to me in a monotonous voice, "Why do you watch me?"
I didn't say anything, simply because I did not know how to answer his question. What was I to say? 'I love you'? His hand left my chin, and I stared only at his neck.
He repeated himself, this time a bit more demanding, "Why?"
My gaze dropped to the ground as I spoke, "I.. When.. When someone feels a void.. Do they not try to fill it?"
"Stupid."
"You feel it too.. Don't you?"
"No."
"That void.. being without love. And to fill it, is to have love."
He said nothing after that. I felt his hand touch my chin once more, lifting it so as to face him. My eyes widened as he leaned down and left a light kiss on my lips, before he, and his sand, disappeared in the wind.
I stood there, alone, quietly on that street. It was dark, and nobody was around, but I felt a different warmth I hadn't ever felt before.
True Love.