Endings and Beginnings
Disclaimer- Nope, the characters you know don't belong to me- though Michael and Alexa are mine.
Rating- M- though as much for being dark as anything else.
Notes- This is VERY DARK in places, though I did try to bring some hope in again at the end! I leave you with that warning- this is not my usual stuff, and it will disturb some of you. If you are not comfortable with character death, this one is not for you. I hate to say that, and usually wouldn't have written anything like this, but this is what the muses have come up with, and- might I add- frighteningly easily. I hope to come up with something happy later to counterbalance it.
This is also a challenge fic- my challenge to myself in the Writer's Circle here on Moonlightforever to write a second person story.
Mick and Beth's bedroom- some 50 years from now
It's been fifty years- fifty beautiful, almost perfect years- and you still don't want to say goodbye- but you know that you have to. She's made her decision, and you have to live with that. She's laying there on your bed- the bed that you'd spent so many passionate hours in together- nothing but a rag doll, her grey hair spilling around her. She's all but dead now- skin and bones, really- and it breaks every bit of heart that you have left to know that you can't change that. You've had fifty years to prepare yourself for this moment- knowing that it would come- and you still can't bear it.
Forbidden thoughts cross your mind as you lay down beside her, inhaling the scent that you've become accustomed to- her scent, only accented with the stench of the pain medications she's taking, and the antiseptic that they use to clean her hands when an IV is put in place. It'd be so easy to turn her right now- just a moment's feeding would bring her to the edge, and a quick nip of your arm would do the rest. But she's told you that she didn't want that- only yesterday, in fact, her voice cracking with emotion as she struggled to breathe. "Mick- this is my time. You need to watch out for the children… they're going to look to you for strength. I need you to be there for them. They're adults- but I still… I don't want them to lose both of us." She'd coughed then, her blue eyes closing for a moment, though they barely see anything now. You pulled her close then, avoiding the oxygen hose that she'd worn for a few weeks now, and you promised her that you would. But the promise sounded hollow, even to your own ears.
You lay there beside her, but let yourself think back over that seemingly vast ocean of time, unable to resist. You remember the day you'd made love for the first time, when you thought you'd never be happier than you were as you held her close in the quiet aftermath. You never knew what the next fifty years would bring then- and life seemed like it was starting over, completely fresh.
Your mind travels forward a few years, to the day you'd gone to the sterile orphanage in Russia and chosen the six month old twins you'd raise as your own. Michael and Alexa- the other loves of your lives. Beth's smile when she held them for the first time was as bright as the sun in the Moscow sky, and you had felt like the world was yours.
You reminisce about your wedding day, looking at the portrait on the wall beside her. You'd stood in front of the altar with Josef and waited while she walked down the aisle, looking like a royal princess; that day she'd told you she was yours "Till death do us part". She hadn't wanted to change those vows, no matter how silly it sounded. Maybe you should have known then- but it never crossed your mind. Your heart was too full of joy to think of the full impact of the words then. And you'd begun to think about the possibility even then that she might eventually want to be turned.
The years had flown- and, yet it all seems like a dream as you lay there, your arm laying quietly around her waist. You reflect on the children, growing up in a beautiful home in the mountains outside of LA- a house that had always been full of their friends and the joys of family. How many times you'd imagined this sort of life for yourself, but it had seemed impossible until you met Beth. Luckily, none of those children had noticed that you didn't age- you'd always managed to keep to the periphery enough to keep the attention to a minimum with them. You smile when you think of the way the kids had looked at you when you told them the brutal truth of your existence. They were only 10, but Alexa had found your freezer one night, and wouldn't take a simple explanation. They'd guarded the secret carefully, and accepted you wholeheartedly- loved you unconditionally- just like their mother. They'll miss her almost as much as you will.
Your mind comes back to the present for a moment, and you see that her eyes have opened again, looking at you with a weary smile. "Baby- I want you to do this. I don't want to just fade out- please- feed from me. I want you to… but don't turn me."
The world stops for a moment, and you pull her close. "Baby- I can't do that… you know I can't."
She looks up at you with stunned eyes. "I want to know that you have part of me, at least, forever. Please…"
You look at her, not sure she can possibly mean to have you do this, but not sure that she doesn't, either. "Baby- if I feed from you right now, it'll…"
"Yes. It will. But I'll die the way I want to die. And that is all I can ask. I don't want…" She coughs heavily, her body slowly betraying her. Then she continues, her thoughts a bit muddled by the drugs that keep her pain at bay. "If you do it, I die happy." The words are simple, but the request so immensely profound. You'd never even considered this- not for a minute. Somehow, though, you manage to nod.
You listen to the faltering of her heart- it won't be long, either way. "If you really want this, I'll call the kids in- they'll want to be here." Somehow, that makes it feel more normal.
"Alright. That's fine. You'll need them- I know that." She's quietly resolute, and you can see the steel you love so much in her eyes begin to burn through the haze of medication and the cataracts that are beginning to fog her vision. The doctors had said that it wouldn't be possible to treat those with the other issues she has going on, but the slight discoloration makes looking into those fantastic eyes a constant reminder of all that you could so easily have prevented. You can't bear to consider that now, though.
You manage to walk downstairs, and quietly tell the children what she's asked. The tears in your eyes are more than you can bear, and you finally break down. Three long weeks of hospice care here at the house- nurses in and out, pain medicine… all the things you could have given her the chance to avoid, and that reality sets in like a tidal wave. After you stop crying for a moment, Mike hugs you, and Alexa begins to cry, burying her face in your chest exactly the same way Beth always does.
You all walk back upstairs, dismiss the day nurse who had just changed her oxygen canister, and settle her in front of you on the bed, the kids each holding one of her hands, dodging the IV's. You take a moment to whisper to her all the things she needs to know on this final journey, rubbing the paper thin skin on her shoulder, careful not to hurt her with your vampire's strength.
Gathering your wits about you, you scent her neck carefully, looking for the scars from all the times you've bitten her there. Flashes of memory fly at you like Chinese throwing stars, sharp and yet beautiful in their own way. The first time you bit her- in a dingy hotel bathroom that you'd thought would be your tomb. Then, so many times after that, in the sweet throes of passion- her blood sending you both over the edge into oblivion together. A lifetime of memories- and now this final one. But as you bury your face in her neck, you notice her pulse weakening, so you simply place your fangs there on your marks, just barely scratching her skin as you feel her take her last breath, granting her that last wish, if you can't have your wish for her.
Half an hour passes before you can even move, except to sob. The kids hold you tight as you hold her lifeless body, the pain of the moment surrounding all of you like a dark blanket. Then you finally allow the Cleaner to take care of her body, kissing her quietly one last time before she's taken to the morgue, where she'll be prepared for the funeral she's planned for weeks.
You and the children walk downstairs, where Alexa takes your hand and leads you to the couch, making you sit down and looking at you, a serious look in her eyes. "Daddy- there's something I want to tell you. I wanted to wait until…" She motions at the steps, tears seeping down her face for a moment. "Dean asked me to marry him the night before I came up here. I wanted to tell you when I told Mom yesterday, but she said to wait- give you some happy news to think about when she was gone." She pulls you close, the tears wetting your shoulder.
"That's wonderful! So- have you talked about the date yet?"
"I want to be married on you and Mom's anniversary. It'll make it feel more like she's there." The starry eyes of love eclipse the pain of only moments before, and somehow, you can feel Beth's presence there with you, too, telling you that it's OK.