Disclaimer: I don't own Legend of Zelda. Is this really necessary?

A silly one-shot from the perspective of toon Link in Phantom Hourglass.

The Legend of… WATCH OUT!

Ah yes…

Our favorite green-hatted hero who has saved the world too many times over to bother to keep count. Currently seated on the edge of a wooden stool, head resting on his crossed arms against the counter in Mercay Tavern… Wait… Why is he just sitting there?...

"Y'know, a young lad like you shouldn't be hanging out in a bar all the time. Don'tcha have anything else to do?" asked the friendly bartender. Link sighed and shook his head. "Don't tell me you have nothing to do?" he said incredulously, "when I was a young chap, I always had something to do. My mum, ya see, was always yappin' at meh to get my lazy ass up and workin' on the farm. Of course, I'd agree. But here's the catch, instead of going to feed the chick'ns like I said I would, I secretly went to go explore the woods out behind da house with me friends…" Link continued to stare at the man, "…wait, don't tell me you don't have friends?!" exclaimed the man. "!" shaking his head no venomously, Link gave a glare to the man but what with his boyish features, it simply came off as a pout. "Okay, okay, sorry little guy," The bartender put his hands in the air as if in surrender, "then tell me this, what are you doing here?"

Link sighed again, "I have nothing better to do. I'm bored," he finally replied after conveying messages through his facial expressions alone, "I've done everything I have and want to do." And as stated earlier, this was partially true for he had gone and saved Hyrule all over again. "Excuses! There's always something to do!" cried the bartender, "If playin' with kids yer own age doesn't sway you, then you can always give in to yer mother's naggin' and actually feed the chickens this time, as much as I hated doin' my chores. So you've got no excuses! I've heard from a couple of my customers about a feller around yer age who travelled to all corners of the sea and braved the deepest, darkest depths of doom. Now, I'd understand if HE had nothing else left to do… But YOU, you've still got everything left to explore! And in the meantime, go find ya some friends to keep ya company instead of hangin' around a hyperactive fairy all day."

"Hey!" shrieked Navi in protest. Link attempted to give him his best blank face in exasperation, debating with himself if he should explain that he doesn't know who his mother is and that he grew up with lots of kids—the Kokiri—his own age, and most importantly, that it was HIM who "braved the deepest, darkest depths of doom". But thinking better of it, he decided it was too long of a story and too much of a hassle to explain to this (obviously uneducated) bartender that he was Link the legend and not Zelda the legend whom many mistake him for… Like that one time he was mistaken for Princess Zelda just because she accompanied him on part of his travels and people spread word of a brave warrior by the name of Zelda. You'd think that he'd get the credit after going solo for so long, but nooo. Link had the sudden urge to slap his hand to his face but resisted the temptation of his repeatedly clenching and unclenching hand. As if only just remembering that the bartender was looking at him strangely for being so quiet, Link came out of his reverie and muttered, "Come on Navi, let's go see how much faster we can run through the temple this time," as if he had gone through it so many times that a temple that sucks your life became a regular hideout for him, which he has done and it has indeed become as such.

"That's the spirit m'boy! Go and play in your temple or whatever," laughed the bartender encouragingly. Oh, he had no idea exactly what Link meant by "temple", he probably took it as slang for playground. Link shook his head on the way out the bar, surprised and yet not very surprised that the bartender didn't know exactly what temple he was talking about considering it's right on the outskirts of the town in the first place.

So in his dull fashion that would make Peter Pan jealous, Link ran after Navi (as usual) to the north of town. "No matter how many times I keep coming back here, I always see the same monsters in the same place. I could have sworn I finished this one off last time," said Link in reference to a yellow ChuChu(1) that was slowly inching its way to Link while trying to give off sparks of electricity. "Hey! Watch out!" shrilled Navi as the super slow ChuChu suddenly jumped at Link with speeds that it certainly didn't show earlier. "Wha?—"

–BZZZZZZZZTTTTT— "Aagackackkk!" yelled Link as half a heart container went down on his health bar of 99,999+ hearts. Yes, he has that many hearts on his health bar, how else does he stay alive? You didn't think he could live this far with only one heart did you?! I mean... he's certainly not like any other normal villager who has only one living, beating heart. As Link tried to shake off the electric current coursing through his midget body, he stabbed blindly and frantically at the poor little ChuChu who squealed and poofed in a cloud of dust only to reveal a green rupee because killing monsters make money magically appear.

"You know what Navi, maybe that man gave some good advice after all. Let's go find the chickens in town but instead of feeding them, let's try to catch them. I think that'd be more fun," said Link. So Navi led Link back to town even though they both know where it is. "Hey, Listen!" chirped the sparkling-blue fairy. So listen he did and he heard the sound of clucking chickens. "That way Navi!" said Link pointing to a white chicken strutting in the grass. Link ran after it but the chicken could see him coming and wings flapping, fled in the opposite direction. Together, Link and Navi spent a good hour trying to corner a chicken… "Ha ha! I've got you now!" crowed Link as he rushed in for the catch. The chicken was so close now! He spread his arms out to grab a hold of the chicken that was a hair's breadth away from his fingertips. The chicken squawked and flapped its wings harder to jump into the air… Only then did Link realize that he wasn't on solid ground anymore.

–SPLASH— Link landed in face first into the cold, blue sea.

He resurfaced as the chicken landed safely on the other side of the small junction.

"Hey. Watch out?" said Navi.

"…"

Bloozi

My first story here on fanfiction. Ever. Idk, I'm not much of a writer but I figured I'd write something out of boredom rather than doing my Java homework. Tell me what you guys think!