Journal,

Sometimes, just sometimes, I can sit back on my lumpy old bed and imagine that im somewhere else. Some mysterious place that no one knows about, and more importantly no one knows about me, the famous Harry Potter. No one would press upon me about my 'destiny'. That eventually it's either 'him' or me, or it's up to me to destroy these… horcrux's. When do I get to control my life? Make decisions for myself?

What if I don't want to shoulder the responsibilities of destroying the Dark Lord of the century. I'm sure if I don't want to do this another prophecy could be made, and another person could be announced the next 'savior'. I mean it's just not believable that im going to be the only one with enough power to destroy him. I know it's not overly Gryffindor of me to write this, much less think its true.

I've had enough; I'm done with being the bloody-boy-who-lived, its someone else's turn. I'm not going to disappear of the ends of the earth, but I am going to have sometime to myself. That is MY decision.

H.P

Harry Potter heaved himself out of bed with a great effort, closing his journal and set it down on his bedside table, which shook with effort of something actually being put on it after many years of use. Running his hand through his hair, he gazed out the window wondering where the present Order member that was on duty was hidden. If he were to leave this place it would be rather difficult without alerting the Order. If possible the security seemed to have doubled since the dear headmaster's death.

Shaking his head he leaned his head against the window, staring listlessly at the approaching sun. Albus Dumbledore was the only man that Voldemort feared, and was he was killed because he made the foolish mistake of trusting a death eater. Harry felt a surge of anger directing towards Dumbledore. If only Dumbledore didn't feel the need to protect Harry, that Harry's blood was somehow more important than his, some pathetic orphan. That was four people that had died because of him, his mother, father, Sirius and now Dumbledore. Doesn't anyone understand… if he isn't around, those that he cares about will no longer die.

Harry slowly shook himself out of his pity, when the sun finally reached it's peak in the sky. He rubbed his eyes tiressly, sleep no longer seemed important when you woke more tired that you where before you went to sleep. The constant chaos of his nightmares, that drove him to scream in his sleep, awaking his oaf of an uncle who did not take being awoke too kindly. Plus this wake I will have no more visions, mere illusions taunting him to risk another precious life, because of his stupidity.

I have to get out of here, right now, I don't care if the Order member catches me, I'll just be on my guard. I wont hurt them of course, their only doing what they think is right. I couldn't take the Knight Bus, everyone would regonize me. The leaves muggle transport… but I do not have any muggle money. I'll solve that soon enough, Harry thought.

Harry walked over grabbing whatever little amount of clothing and wizarding stuff he owns and shrunk his trunk, leaving his wand close enough for access. Since he became of age a few days ago he's been enjoying the free use of magic, no more threatening notes of being expelled, not like he was going back to Hogwarts. There was nothing there for him anymore.

Harry tiptoed down the stairs, missing the creaky step so not to awaken his 'family'. Entering the kitchen he grabbed the cookie jar on top of the fridge. The Dursley's were not as discreet as they should've been about hiding their savings for rainy days, but than again they probably never expected Harry to be brave enough to steal from them. Grabbing enough for a few nights, he reached the front door and threw his invisibility cloak over him.

The early morning was cold enough to be approaching winter, even though it was mid-summer. Harry took a deep breath in, his first time being outside since his return home from Hogwarts. He didn't dare face outside in case if one of the guard decided to talk to him, and he knew the inevitable would occur, they would bring up Dumbledore's death. Harry shuddered as he thought of Dumbledore's body on the ground, sprawled, the twinkle in his blue eyes, gone.

Harry made it pass the bushes that he swore he saw someone hiding in. Really couldn't they be anymore obvious, Harry thought shaking his head.

The wind picked up, and dogs started barking as their owner's let them out, getting ready for the day of work ahead. Chilled Harry went to pull the cloak closer, a bit too late. The invisibility cloak went flying off him. Harry swore out loud, which was probably what first alerted the order member to his presence.

"Harry!" Tonks appeared from the bushes, startled. "What are you doing? Get inside the house at once do you want to be killed?"

"Err-.. hi Tonks." Harry muttered feeling his face turned red under the heated glare.

Tonks moved forward to grab Harry. But Harry had anticipated this, and grabbed his wand from his pockets, and pointed it at her. Tonks stopped mid-step.

"What?..."

"Listen Tonk I'm sorry, I just can't handle this anymore. You have faith in the wrong person, I'm just an ordinary boy. I have no special powers, I'm me. Your protecting the wrong person, okay? I know you guys wont believe me, cause of the prophecy and all. So I'm taking it into my own hands. I'm leaving for good. To live my life some where's where you wont be able to find me. It's for your own good, I'd probably just end up getting you killed anyway" Harry said with a grimace.

Tonk's went for her wand, fully intended to stun the boy and than return him to safety to knock some sense into him, but Harry was quicker and stunned her.

"Im sorry Tonks, I really am. But don't you understand im the reason why Sirius is dead" Harry muttered to her as he grunted under the weight of pulling into the bushes so she was out of sight of muggles. "I really don't know why you don't hate me…"

Harry hurried away after making sure no one was watching. He turned down several streets that he believed led to the bus stop. As he turned onto another street, St. Andrews, Harry noticed several of Dudley's friends. Not wanting to get any attention drawn to him, he turned down a nearby alley. A rather dark, narrow one. Harry to distracted with the creepiness failed to notice a busted tire on the ground, and tripped falling flat on his face.

"Bloody brilliant' Harry muttered as he tried to wipe the dirt of his face.

"Sorry about that Harry, but I knew you would've ran"

Harry rolled over to face Remus Lupin towering over him, with a grim smile. His eye glinted with concern as he surveyed the skinny boy in front of him. Lupin offered his hand to Harry.

Ignoring the help Harry scrambled to his feet, glaring at his former proffesser. He brushed the dirt off his hand me down clothes.

"Are you hurt anywhere? I think I was a bit too ethusitac, shouldve conjured something softer I suppose. But really it's much better than being attacked by a death eater, right?" Lupin said smiling, not at all insulted by Harry dismissal.

"No im not, but really you could've just called my name instead of trying to kill me" Harry said rolling his eyes, irritated at the proffesser's appearance.

"Sorry, dear boy. Now may I ask why were you in such a hurry?"

"I err- was taking a walk, felt like stretching my legs you know."

"Right… well than you don't mind me walking with you. You wont feel the need to stun me as well, will you" Lupin asked, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Harry paled slightly, so this was it. He was caught.

"Oh nonsense, werewolf why would you stun you, when I could kill you" A cold voice sneered from several feet behind Harry.