A/N: This is my first time writing Jogan (or anything in the incredible Daltonverse) and I'm really not sure about it, but it was fun to write. I'd love it if you'd let me know what you think and review! Thanks for reading! :)
Julian isn't quite himself in the first few weeks of his relationship with Logan. He's anxious and delicate and trembles like an overripe dandelion about to be blown away.
It simultaneously worries and frustrates the hell out of Logan.
He bends over backwards trying to make up for three years of callous obliviousness - he whispers into Julian's hair, and pulls him into hugs every few minutes, and constantly reminds him of how glad he is that he knows, now. In short, Logan is absolutely nothing like himself.
And still, under the waterfall of sickening kindness Logan is pouring out, Julian just shivers. They have a lot of conversations that go like this:
"I just wish you would have told me sooner, Jules. Lord, think of the time we lost when, if I had known it was even a possibility -"
"Please don't say things like that."
"I'm sorry. I'm just... really glad we're together now."
And Julian just lets out a miserable groan before pushing himself out of Logan's arms and out of the room. But whatever Julian's running away from does him no good - they'll just replay the scenario later in the day, and again the next...
It's been fifteen days when Logan snaps. They're playing through the same old tired scenario - Logan tries to be romantic and Julian starts flouncing out of the room - when a roar erupts out of Logan's chest.
Julian is still half-turned toward the door, frozen solid, as the taller man springs to his feet and comes blazing across the room.
"Logan -"
"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, YOU DAMN DIVA?" The blond's stronger arms are suddenly pinning Julian hard against the door, the brunet gasping for air. "I HAVE DONE EVERYTHING I KNOW TO DO TO TRY AND MAKE UP FOR THREE YEARS OF NOT KNOWING BUT I CAN'T DO IT FOREVER!"
"Logan -" the actor ventures timidly.
"I thought you loved me? I thought you wanted me? But now that we're together you hug me like you'd hug an unpleasant aunt and you hold my hand like it's something slimy and you act like I'm torturing you by kissing you. Was it just a case of always wanting the things you can't have, Julian? Was that it, and now that I know, and I'm here, and I WANT you, you find me repulsive?"
Logan is so close, and breathing so hard, that each exhale has Julian's oak bangs fluttering. Julian stops breathing under the desperate green-eyed gaze. Then he reaches up, his fingers slipping through blonde locks, and smashes his face against Logan's with all the strength he has.
Logan's hands fly off of Julian's shoulders, his eyes wide with shock, but Julian doesn't let up, sucking persistently at Logan's lips, his fingers tangling through his hair. When the prefect finally recovers, he gives as good as he gets, shoving Julian back against the wall roughly and sucking Julian's bottom lip into his mouth, raking his teeth over the warm flesh. Julian lets out a groan that's miles away from the one Logan hears most often and he has to break away a second, gasping for breath and letting out a hoarse "Lord, Jules," before going back to work, desperate to hear that noise again.
Julian has his own aspirations, however, and breaks the kiss to suck a line down Logan's neck, leaving a red trail as he goes, then licking across his collarbone. Logan bucks into him unconsciously, pulling another moan from the actor. But he doesn't reach his goal until he suckles the hollow space at the base of Logan's windpipe, and a throaty gasp accompanies the blond's wanton arching.
Julian takes advantage of Logan's momentary distraction to push him away from the door. He's keeping Logan so busy with his mouth that the prefect doesn't seem to notice until his knees hit the bed and Julian shoves him on it, preparing to clamber on to the bed himself -
"No."
"No?" Julian repeats, more laughing than asking at the ridiculous statement, not slowing in the least.
"No!" This time Logan physically restrains Julian, big hands tightening on the brunet's shoulders.
Julian throws his head back almost subconsciously - even the hands holding him back feel good - before staring at Logan in confusion. The bright green eyes are blown-out and wild, but his sharp features are sad. "But - I don't understand - " Julian manages after a second, his face crumpling.
The reply is cold and detached. "Why?"
The actor falters for a moment, a frown flitting past, and then slaps his show smirk into place. "Well, I guess I haven't made this clear enough but I'm marginally attracted to you -"
Logan shakes him - just barely, but enough to wipe the fakey smile off his face. "Julian. Why?"
Moments pass and Julian collapses on the bed beside Logan, sighing loudly. "What happened earlier? You screaming and yelling and snarling at me?"
"Jules, I'm sorry -"
"NO." Julian's staring at the ceiling, so he misses Logan's raised eyebrows. "Please don't be sorry. That was wonderful because that was YOU. That was US. That's how we are. We bicker and fight and snark one another and it's just a tiny part of why I love you so much."
Julian finds his view of the ceiling suddenly obscured as Logan leans over him, his hair falling forward and brushing faintly against Julian's forehead. "You have been nervous and jumpy and apathetic ever since I told you I wanted you, Jules. I was just trying to be delicate -"
"I was nervous precisely because you kept treating me as if I was breakable. It wasn't you." Julian shakes his head. "I was so damn worried you would realize this was all a mistake."
"But it wasn't a mistake. It's not a mistake." Logan is ardent, passionate, his voice cracking.
"I know it isn't for me," Julian sighs with a sad smile.
Logan stares at him for a moment. "I'm never going to be able to make you believe the way I feel about you, am I?"
"Probably not," the actor admits, a giggle escaping him although his sad smile remains.
"You're damaged goods, Larson," Logan says thickly, rolling his eyes and flopping back onto the bed.
He's only surprised for a second when Julian leans over and kisses him again.