Summary: Tali had always been a headstrong girl, taking after her mother, before she was a hero, before she was a Grey Warden, before she was a noble slayer and defender of her people she was just Tali and so much more - Series of four to five one shots featuring Tali Tabris, and her thoughts about Shianni leading through her origin and up to the fall of Denirim.

Rating: PG-13.

Warnings: Suggestive themes nothing explicit contains Shianni/Tabris pairing, you have been fairly warned, not further warning will be given

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age, Bioware do, If I owned it there would be a lot more craziness going on.

Longing

Tali Tabris, she was laying on her side, one hand under her head, resting on its elbow, the other around the waist of the woman next to her, she was watching Shianni sleep. Her eyes closed tight as she reached over to play with an errant strand of crimson red hair, she wondered how it had all come to this point. It had all seemed so innocent at the time, "just practice", Shianni had said, to 'experiment' and find themselves, that was four years ago, and now on the eve of her wedding to a man she had never met, she still had her cousin in her bed, her lover, it had been so innocent but along the way it became something more, more than either of them would admit, would want to admit.

She supposed this would be their last night together, after tonight she would be expected to behave like a good girl and be a 'good wife' to her betrothed, a man she had never met, father had said his family had paid a good price for her, more than she was worth, having a reputation like hers was at least according to her father not a good thing, husbands looked for certain qualities in a wife – cooking, cleaning, childbearing, and most definitely not sword fighting, drinking or swearing like an Antivan Sailor. Father had never even asked her preferences, what type of man she wanted or even of she want a man at all, just assumed like he always did that he knew best, which in hindsight to many of her adventures he usually did. 'You are your mothers daughter' he would say, she wasn't sure how he would take it if he ever found out she was sleeping with not only another woman, but dear cousin Shianni or worse she was in love with her, she expected her father would likely die from heart attack of the shock of it, oh the scandal, the shame of it all. Tali sighed. Of course keeping their relationship a secret for four years wasn't a easy task, not even Soris knew and that by itself was a small miricle but to keep it from father in such a close community of elves was no small measure.

Her last night as a free woman had been, something to remember, Shianni had made sure of that, she had weaselled a bottle of ale from Alevan and spent the night together. Shianni had asked if she would be a bridesmaid at the wedding, Tali had given her a nodding agreement, she didn't know how Shianni could do it, be so calm, so resigned about the whole thing, Shianni felt as deeply about this as she did but obligations were obligations and tomorrow she would stand and take her wedding vows to the man she would wed in front of her father, her lover and the rest of the alienage 'for the greater good', exactly who's greater good she did not know, it certainly wasn't hers. Or Shianni's that's for sure. She would miss this, miss the comfortable embraces, the small kisses in hidden places, the tender touches of her hands or her cheek to display affection, the way she would flick her nose if she wasn't paying attention and of course the warmth of her body in bed.

She would have to be strong, for Shianni, she couldn't show it, couldn't let them see it but tomorrow would break her heart as much as her cousins, but she wouldn't cry, she wouldn't let Shianni down like that, maybe in private after away from everyone else she would allow herself to break down, maybe, of course that had got four years, it was a good run, it was only because of her cousins outspoken unruly natures preventer father from securing a dowry that Shianni herself had not been married off so maybe she should be thankful for small miracles, happy they got as long as they did, rather than being bitter because its ending, that is what Shianni would say, that is what her mother would have said. Tali kept stroking her cousins hair, running a hand down the back of her ear, the ears were sensitive for elves, more so than in humans of that she knew.

Shianni opened her eyes and smiled, stretching out her arms, before letting them fall back down on the blankets that covered her chest; "What time is it Tali?" she said, they had taken to using first names when they were alone together.

"little after first light", Tali said.

"First light", Shianni repeated blinking in surprise; "Oh Crap! Cousin you're going to be late for your own wedding we have so much to do, we have to get you fitted for your dress, arrange for gifts, let you meet your betrothed, organise the celebration for after!"

"Its fine Shianni, whatever happens will happen...", Tali said trailing off, looking down and showing no sign of wanting to move any time soon, even as Shianni moved to get up, pushing off the blankets to swing her bare legs over the edge of the bed. Tali put a hand on her arm to stop her, stroking it down her forearm to her hand entwining her fingers with her cousins. Shianni smiled.

"I don't want to do this", Tali said; "I don't want to get married"

"You don't really have much choice in the matter; you know how your father is and he has his heart set on this", Shianni said unable to meet her cousins eye.

"But I don't want it, I want you", Tali stated, it was not a question.

"I know", Shianni said looking down; "but we knew this wouldn't last forever, that...eventually one of us would have to face reality", she drove on her face scrunching up at every word and unable to hide the bitterness in her voice; "But we should be happy that we happened at all, not that its ending" she said her voice cracking; "I don't regret it, do you?"

"Not a second", Tali answered firmly without hesitation;

"Good" Shianni said with a smile that lit up her eyes; Tali leaning up for a kiss, Shianni let her and they shared a tender moment as their lips met, melting the barriers between them, that said more than words could, then it was over and Shianni flicked her across the nose gently with the end of her finger. "Now behave cousin, if father walked in with your kissing me..."

"The jig would be up", Tali answered.

"Absolutely", Shianni answered; "I couldn't even say we were very drunk"

Tali laughed, a gentle musical sound which escaped her lips, "Maker, Shianni...", Tali said, pausing just a beat, closing her eyes to steady her resolve as she squeezed her cousins delicate hands, hands that melted into her own perfectly; there are moments, in every relationship, some moments, pivotal moments that are now or never, because if you don't do them now, you know you never will; Tali drew a breath; "Look I want you to know that I lo-"

"I know",, Shianni said cutting her off, she knew, she always knew because she felt the same but to hear her say it, to admit it, it would make it real, make it all real and today would break them both because of it.

"But I have to say this...I won' get another chance", Tali said, tears in her eyes.

"I know that sweetheart", Shianni replied, wrapping her arm around her lover and cradling her against herself; "But...please don't say it, I won't be able to bare it if you do", Shianni swallowed

"We could always run away, maybe elope", Tali suggested nuzzling against Shianni, her own hair somewhere between orange and off-pink spread out across her lovers chest "far from the alienage, from father, from anyone that we know, no body would assume we were ...they'd just think we were another young couple in love"

"and I'm supposed to be the reckless one?", Shianni reminded with a small smile; "Sweetheart Cyrion would hunt you down to the ends of the Thedas if you run out on your wedding not to mention kill me for corrupting you", Shianni spoke softly, even if the idea had crossed her mind to, actually doing it was another thing; "but seriously Tali, no money, no job, no shelter over our heads"

"Its not that different than our lives here in the alienage now", Tali answered ruefully.

"You have a point but with no family to support us either", Shianni answered.

"We'd have each other", Tali counter-argued; "none of those other things matter to me nearly as much as you do", Tali stated.

"That's sweet of you to say", Shianni smiled back; "But we both know how this ends"

Tali sighed; "Fine...no eloping", she groused; "I still don't see why I have to marry some whelp I've never met, I don't even know what this 'Neleros' looks like let along what he is like as a person and I'm expected to just go along like a good girl...", Tali stated; "Even if you and I weren't lovers..I still wouldn't want this"

"I know", Shianni hugged her again; "but maybe he's attractive or nice and you will love him"

"I doubt that", Tali stated looking away; "I doubt that very much"

Shianni smiled one last time before she separated herself from Tali to get dressed; leaving Tali on the bed to stretch out on her back, her head turned to one side so she could watch Shianni get dressed, first the small clothes then the chest band, and then her all in one outfit that passed for a dress; the she would tie up the loose longer parts of her hair into bunches before lacing up her boots – the boots were always last.

"So I take it you are staying in bed a little longer?", Shianni asked looking back over her shoulder as she tied the laces.

"a little", Tali said; "I didn't get much sleep thanks to someone"

Shianni blushed a shade of red almost as deep as her hair; "Shush you, I heard no complaints at the time

"I wasn't complaining". Tali answered; "Maker knows I'd like to go again right now", Tali stated giving her cousin her best sultry look as she let her eyes wander up and down the latter's body.

"I have things to do", Shianni said protesting as Tali took her cousin by the hands and pulled her down back onto the bed on top, shifting her weight so as not to crush her cousin, resting two hands on her cousins rear quarters and kissing her. "I really do have things to do...", Shianni protested again lamely as Tali moved her mouth up to her cousins ear lobe.

"Nothing that can't wait, I'm kind of the bride, its not like that can start without me anyway", Tali answered mischievously, with that Shianni protested no more.

A/N: Woo for first Shianni/Tabris Pairing fic on , I feel special. more to come over the holidays.