Northern Lights
Chapter One
2016
His heart was in the air, waiting for the drop. The lights were flashing, bright strobes forcing the room into darkness and light like waves of the ocean. The bass ripped through his chest, the speakers causing his entire body to vibrate.
Her voice played over the speakers, despite being oceans away. He was only moving by pure muscle memory by this point, his mind too focused on the sound. Singing along felt like a conversation, the words that were left unspoken.
If he could go back to that Monday night where everything changed, he'd do it in an instance. He'd give it all up. He'd take it all back. Nothing was worth giving up the best thing he'd had.
2010
Leaning back in the studio booth couch, Emma could finally take a deep breath. Midterms were finally over and classes were officially on break as of 5 o'clock. It's now six thirty on a Friday and campus had sprung back to life after a solid week of cramming, odd sleeping hours, and an occasional public breakdown or two. Most people were leaving for their vacations tomorrow morning, as the tradition was to drink until you forget everything you just studied for after your final test.
But tonight, Emma had acquired the Friday night slot for the campus radio and she was not about to let that slip between her fingers. She had four hours of music queued up for the night, the lights set down low, and her favorite blanket for the couch. The studio was her absolute favorite spot on campus. The room was completely sound proof, and offered complete privacy, something that she rarely got. Growing up in the foster system, she learned what a privilege privacy was.
When the red light flashed on her dashboard, signaling a caller, it stunned her. There wasn't a speech segment tonight, there was no reason for a call. When she picked up, at first all she heard was cheering and shouting.
"Hello?" She asked, her voice raspy from exhaustion. She pushed her hair back with her left hand in an attempt to pull herself back together.
"You're playing my song!" A man shouted excitedly, sounding a bit less than sober with his words blurring together.
With her eyebrows stitched together in confusion, Emma looks over to the computer screen to figure out what she was playing. It was a song called "Stay With You" by a local singer who went by Hook.
"You're Hook?" Emma asked with a raised eyebrow and a smile. She could remember catching him playing a set at the bar on the edge of campus, he'd been severely drunk
"That's me," He agreed, she could practically see the smile on his face.
"Well you're in for a good ride tonight then, Hook, because half a dozen of your songs are queued up for the night." Emma laughed, relaxing back into the couch with the phone against her ear.
"Don't play with a man's heart now," He said seriously, obviously hopeful.
"I could never." Emma said playfully.
"I'm bringing you a drink, the station is south of The Rabbit Hole, correct?" Hook asked, suddenly the background of his call was quiet as if he just went outside.
Emma's eyes widened as she sat back up in surprise, she looked down at herself silently cursing her decision to wear her pajamas that consisted of a pair of David's old sweatpants from high school and a tank top that said "Dirty Laundry".
"You don't have to do that!" She spat out quickly, pushing the blanket off her lap.
"I'm already out the door, beer in hand, be there in five minutes!" He said happily as he hung up the phone.
Setting down the phone in defeat, Emma stood to lock the front door to the studio. She wasn't about to let a drunk man stumble into the studio whether or not she loved his music. David would give her an earful if she did so, and she'd rather avoid the "Like a big brother" speech that he loves to give.
Slightly confused, Emma dropped down onto the couch and wrapped her blanket around her shoulders. Her phone vibrated to signal an old notification that she'd yet to answer, a message from Ruby asking her if she wanted to go dancing tonight after her radio shift. She'd yet to decide but was heavily leaning towards a strong no, wanting to just sleep in the studio tonight. Graham, her boss, always teased her when he'd come in to start everything up and find her curled in a ball sleeping like the dead.
Taking a deep breath, Emma shook away her thoughts and managed to sink deep into the couch while simply listening to the music. The sound foam covering the walls and the high tech sound equipment that she only dreamed of as a teenager made the music sound like it was a live playing. She could just close her eyes and practically see Hook on the stage of the Rabbit Hole with a mug in one hand and a microphone in the other. The passion pouring out of him was inspiring. It was something to aspire to, finding something you love so dearly that it defines your very being.
Sometimes with music, Emma felt close to that feeling but never reached the same level that Hook did. Working for the radio station ignited a passion she never knew she had, but it wasn't the end of the road and she knew that, though who knows where that road will lead.
She wasn't sure how many songs passed when the peace was interrupted by a loud banging at the studio door. The entire door was made of glass so she could see the scruffy man at the door with a large smile on his face. Emma could feel her eyes go comically wide when their eyes met. Part of her was surprised he even came and the other part was concerned he even came.
True to his word, he was holding a beer up in his right hand for her to see while gesturing for her to open the door as his left hand was holding a large brown bag filled with the unknown.
Emma could tell her jaw had gone slack while staring out at the man and was unsure how to proceed. There were a few options varying in levels of sanity. There was always the option of playing dumb and pretending she never saw him, or calling out for backup. Then there was the most insane idea, letting him in. She tossed the idea around in her head for a moment, watching him grin at her, his smile was more intoxicating than any drink he could have in that brown bag.
Hook leaned his hip up against the doorway, his smile quirking up ever so slightly, "You know you look quite lovely when you're trying to decide how to send me away, Love." He laughed. His voice was muffled through the glass, but still just audible enough to send a light shiver down her spine. Emma breathed in lightly, trying to hide her own chuckle. His laugh was like his very own brand music, light and unique, contagious.
In that moment she made a decision that was highly questionable, downright insane perhaps. It set off every alarm bell that she had inside her that had kept her safe up until this point, but she ignored every single blaring siren. For once in her life, Emma threw caution to the wind. She stood up, blanket covering her like a cloak as she walked across the room to let the man in.
His smirk melted into a genuine smile as the door swung open, closing the space between them. Hook gestured to his hands, "Can you help a man out?"
Emma cocked her head for a moment before biting her lip to stop a smile, "You managed all the way here on your own, you can make it to the table." She said calmly before turning her back on him to find her seat at the small coffee table. Behind her Hook chuckled softly to himself and Emma could practically feel his smile in his laugh. Almost like a small light shone out of him wherever he went. She wouldn't be surprised if it did. He made his way to the table and unloaded his arms before settling across from her, his grin yet to fade from his face.
As soon as his arms were relieved of their belongings, Hook stuck his hand out in front of him and a slight rose color creeped up his neck into his cheeks. "Killian Jones, it's lovely to meet you Ms…" He trailed off, unsure of what to call her.
"Swan. Emma Swan," She laughed, clasping her hand with his own in a solid grasp.
"Well Ms. Swan, I hope you like grilled cheese and onion rings." He chuckled before settling down to tear into the paper bag on the table. Emma could feel her stomach growl in anticipation, and as soon as the bag ripped open the familiar scent of gooey cheese and crispy fried onions overwhelmed her senses in the most beautiful way possible.
"This is genuinely my favorite meal, possibly ever." Emma grinned in anticipation as he placed a paper wrapped sandwich in her open palms. She was practically bubbling with excitement when she tore into the wrapping, runny cheese sticking to the greasy paper. "I dream about grilled cheese like this," She chuckled.
"This is my dream, actually." Killian said with a deep breath, examining the room, taking in every detail possible. The padding of the walls, the intricate sound features and recording equipment. "Sitting in a recording studio, my music playing on the radio, eating a delicious meal. I couldn't be happier than I am right now."
2013
"How happy are you?" Emma asked him. He was staring at the room around him dazed, almost like he was seeing fireworks for the very first time. It felt like an honor to be with him in this moment. Before this, all of his (and then their) music had been recorded with their own equipment in Killian's apartment. Now they were standing in a large beautiful recording studio with all the high tech futuristic recording equipment they could dream of.
"Whatdya mean, Love?" Killian chuckled, looking back at her from his spot in the middle of the room directly under the main microphone. He looked like he belonged in that room, more so than any place she'd ever seen him. The man could look at home just about anywhere, from Montana to New York City. But it seemed like he found home.
"When I met you, you said you couldn't be happier. That sitting in that recording studio was your dream. Well how happy are you now?" She asked, giddy and vibrating from her own happiness. They made it, after years of work. She started mixing his music about six months after meeting him and has been working with him since. They had put out two EPs self published, and now they've been contracted for an album.
"I'm delirious but Emma I'll never be as happy as I was that day. That's the day I met you." Killian said seriously, his smile melting her just a little further. He seemed to have that affect on her. Melting her a little more with each smile until one day there will just be a puddle left of her.
"Now Killian, don't go talking like that, you may just get a complex." Emma chuckled, finally entering his bubble, the space between them closing. She could see his eyebrows waggle in a dangerous way.
"Everyone has new dreams, Emma Swan." Killian said in a deep raw tone.
"Well I dream of making beautiful things with you, Killian Jones." She said lightly, mimicking his full name card, trying to break the tension that was growing in the room. She could feel her neck and cheeks growing hot and she wasn't sure if it was from fear or excitement. Maybe both.
"Mine is to just be with you. So I want to ask you a question and you have to promise me you won't just run away. I can't handle another Colorado incident." He said, rubbing his fingers over and over like a nervous tick.
Emma took in a deep breath and nodded, her eyes closed so tightly that her forehead wrinkled.
"Will you move in with me, Emma?" He asked, looking at her nervously, rocking on his feet as if he were on the ocean. When she first asked him where he was from, he told her the sea. At first she thought it was a joke, but when she saw him on a boat for the first time she knew it was true. He was born on a boat and if she didn't think the man was invincible he would probably die on a boat as well. He belonged to the sea just as much as he belonged to his music.
She finally let herself breathe out, the relief flooding her body. "Yes." She hummed, smiling and finally looking at him.
Killian let out the breath he didn't know he was even holding before lurching forward to gather her in his arms in elatement.
2011
If she knew that saying yes to mixing Killian's music would lead her to this moment, she would have never said yes. Emma found herself in a back alley bar in Boulder three drinks deep and the bartender seems to be pouring heavy. Not that she minds. The rum kept her warm in the snowy weather.
Really, she barely said yes to begin with. It had taken six months of friendship and six months of him wearing her down. The moment he found out she could mix, he was all over it. He said how much he loved her segments and after all that time she finally grew so worn down that she finally just said yes. Around the same time he'd asked her to dinner, and she hadn't realized it was a date until around the third time when he tried to kiss her goodnight.
That happened roughly eighteen more times up until this moment. Twenty-one dinners, movies, drinks, lazer tags, and concerts later she was sitting in a bar in an unfamiliar city by herself. All because of five silly words he should have never said.
They were on a small tour at the moment, ten cities in the United States. Killian and herself took turns driving throughout the country in her small yellow bug filled to the brim. Only one last show was left in the tour, Seattle. But now it was looking like they weren't going to make their next concert on time unless they leave in the next forty-five minutes. Considering she was at least six blocks from the RV, half way through this glass of rum with all intentions of finishing it, and pissed as all hell, they weren't going to make it.
At the time, they'd just finished their Boulder concert, finishing with the only song she actually sings lyrics on. Killian loves finishing with her, getting her away from her computer and mixers for a good three minutes with him. It's all high energy and crazy lights, something he revels in. Emma would be perfectly happy away from it all but sometimes it's fun to be in the thick.
Coming off the stage Killian had grabbed her by the waist and pulled her up off her feet into his chest for a swinging hug. When her feet finally touched the ground he looked at her with a face of a determined man, "I love you Emma."
Then she found herself in this bar. It stunk mildly of vomit and severely of beer. The place had obviously seen better days, most likely those days were before it was ever built. Her phone buzzed for the hundredth time, it was a fifty fifty shot of it either being Killian or their tour manager threatening to kill her again. Though that was more common than anything nice that woman has ever said.
"Want another one, Lady?" The bartender asked with a thick accent. She nodded and pushed her tumbler towards him.
"Bloody hell this is where you want to spend time, Emma?" She heard behind her after the door swung open, letting in cold winter air.
She shrugged her shoulders waiting anxiously for her glass back. Killian slid into the bar stool next to her, obviously trying to catch her gaze. The bartender thankfully stayed silent when he passed her the glass, leaving them be in the empty bar.
Killian gestured to the glass for a drink, she pushed it towards him letting him drink all he'd like. They both needed it tonight. She didn't blame him, he said something he didn't mean. Everyone does when they're coming off a concert high. Lots of adrenaline, your hearts racing, and you just blurt out something you don't really mean.
When he set the glass back down he swallowed thickly and took a deep breath, "I'm not going to take it back. Not when I meant it. Don't force me to."
Her heart felt like a concert high.
"I love you, and it's not something I'd just say on a whim." He said. His voice was hoarse and raw. She wasn't sure if it was from a rough concert or something much worse, emotion.
"You can't force me to be okay with that." Emma said gruffly, refusing to look up at him. Internally she was screaming at herself, refusing to let herself cry.
"Aye, you're right. I can't. But I hope you'll let me convince you one day." Killian said softly, offering her his left hand.
Taking his hand they sat still for a few moments, "I don't believe you." She said quietly, holding her breath in the quiet.
"I know. But I am prepared to make sure you do." He said. When she allowed herself to look at him, all she was met with was his unforgettable smile.