Robin's Bad Night
"Not. A. Word." Robin grumbled as he stalked into the Batcave via the Batmobile's secret entrance tunnel. His face was bloody, his Robin-suit was torn and he was soaking wet from walking fourteen miles in the pouring rain.
Batman raised his eyebrows at his partner's condition but did his best to remain quiet. Silent laughter suddenly began shaking his torso and Robin stared at him resentfully as he trudged to the Bat-changing area.
Three minutes later the Boy Wonder emerged dressed in regular clothes with a scowl darkening his features. He had neglected to completely dry his hair and rainwater was rolling down his back and dripping onto the floor. Limping slightly, he marched over to where Batman was standing. Putting his hands on his hips, Robin glared up at his older partner.
"One would think," he began cheekily, "that a hero, after seeing his younger partner jump from a second story window in order to capture a criminal, would give the boy time to return to the Batmobile before driving away. Especially since the hero is extremely observant and knows that the kid is injured."
"One would also think," Batman retorted with a slight grin, "that the younger hero would know the difference between a live criminal and a store mannequin that was being used to advertise a gun show. And a slight roll of the ankle after a very un-athletic looking jump is something that the kid would normally shrug off."
"The man had a gun! A gun that was pointed across the street at an unsuspecting family! You were strolling out of the building next door and…" Robin was interrupted.
"The 'man'nequin had a cardboard gun that was pointed at a fire hydrant. Don't you think I would have moved a little more urgently if that small family was in danger?"
"I thought I was that family's only chance! You were moving so slowly that I thought you were injured! I watched you get dragged into that building by three big goons and figured that somebody had given you some good hits!"
Batman sighed, "You thought you saw me get dragged away. Thanks to the anti-Super Instant Mesmerizing Device Bat-pill, you weren't put to sleep when the beam from the Mad Hatter's top hat hit you in the eyes. It did, however, momentarily blind you and allowed the bony fist of his strongest henchman to make a solid connection with your face. I led the fight away from you because you were flat on your back, disoriented and bloody with an already swelling left eye. I knew you wouldn't be able to see anything clearly for a while. Obviously I was right since you thought you were taking down a villainous, weapon-wielding thug!"
"I know what happened; I was there! I was about to jump up and keep fighting!" Robin countered defensively. "But that doesn't explain why you left me standing in the rain!"
Rolling his eyes, Batman commented, "You're welcome. I thought you wouldn't mind a quick break that would allow your vision to clear." Sarcasm briefly laced his loud tone but then he began chuckling.
"I didn't want to leave you in the rain," the older hero continued. "You jumped, tackled the mannequin and easily popped up to your feet. Yes, you tweaked your ankle but I knew you were fine so I climbed into the Batmobile and waited for you. But you just stood there, looking directly at me, then shook your head and walked away."
Confusion spread across Robin's face. "Why would I do that?" There was a memory skipping away from him and he couldn't quite catch it.
"I was hoping you could tell me," Batman's voice held a tinge of concern. "You don't remember walking away from me?"
"No," Robin sounded thoughtful. The playful memory jumped into the arms of his mind and the words leapt out of him. "Wait! There were two Batmobiles! The first one was empty and you were sitting in the second one. Why would I get into an empty Batmobile when I saw you in the other one?!" he nearly yelled.
Batman burst into laughter again and Robin glared at him. The replica! It was parked ten yards behind the real Batmobile. Batman must have been too far in the shadows for the young crime-fighter to see him so Robin had assumed that to be the replica. Of course he would go to the Batmobile that had Batman in it!
The older crime-fighter's eyes danced with amusement; it could have happened to anyone. The replica was nearly perfect, it was after midnight and, with two of the street lights out, it had been extremely dark.
"I climbed in and you sat there like a statue! Because you were a statue!" Robin was shouting now. "It took me two seconds to realize my mistake but by the time I got out, you were already gone! Why did you leave?! You couldn't wait ten more seconds for me to figure it out?!"
Why had Batman left? Because he had assumed that Robin wanted time to get over the embarrassment of capturing a store dummy! He also knew that his young partner was smart enough to call him on the Bat-communicator when he was ready to return to the Batcave.
That thought brought up a good question. "Why didn't you use your Bat-communicator instead of walking in the rain?" Batman inquired.
"Because you left me there!" Robin snapped. "Why would I use my Bat-communicator when it was obvious that you had already decided that I should walk?!"
Robin dropped his head and felt like the dummy he had attacked earlier. How could he have been so stupid? He should have been able to tell the difference between a real criminal and a fake mannequin; between the real Batmobile and an exact copy.
There was suddenly a heavy hand on his right shoulder and the Boy Wonder flinched. Batman was probably staring at him like he was an idiot so Robin refused to look up.
"Robin," Batman's tone was gentle but there was still a touch of laughter woven through the words. The Boy Wonder's eyes were downcast and it was difficult to see his face. Batman, however, could read Robin like a book, even if he couldn't see the boy's expression.
"You're not stupid. Everyone has bad nights."
"Except you," the boy grumbled.
"Well…" Batman began to reply but couldn't think of an example off the top of his head.
"See?!" Robin declared as he lifted his head and his light blue eyes met the darker ones of his partner.
"If you were stupid, would I allow you to fight crime; to go up against dangerous villains night after night?"
"I…guess not," Robin mumbled. He suddenly sneezed and Batman turned him toward the service elevator.
"Go warm up and go to bed. Nobody has to know that you attacked a store…" Batman had to pause to contain another chuckle that tried to slip out. Clearing his throat, he continued, "A store mannequin. I'm the only one who saw it so don't worry about it."
Nodding his head, Robin limped wearily toward the elevator. He paused as a thought bounced into his head.
"Not even Alfred?" he asked, turning back to Batman with humiliation in both his tone and his tired eyes.
Shaking his head, Batman replied with a slight smirk, "Not even Alfred."
THE END