Authors Note: The penguins from the movies are real different from the ones in the tv series. Well, more or less. But these are the movie penguins. Sometime later I'll have this story categorized under the Madagascar section, or I won't. Maybe I'll just leave it under PoM.
-SkansHansSkivate
"…we're gonna need an aerial view, eye's in the skies, I want to know everything that goes on in these parts." Skipper paced in front of his team. The leader paused in front of Kowalski who was writing thing's down in a notebook. "If a puffin lays a pellet, I want to know about it. Am I understood?"
"Yes, sir." saluted Kowalski.
"We need a private's eye…" continued Skipper. "Someone who can look two places at once, even more!"
While the leader spoke, the smallest penguin named Private was playing with his eyes. He was naturally cross-eyed. When he was bored or just for fun, he'd try to straighten them out. He did, and was now focused fully on Skipper.
"We need—" Skipper narrowed his eyes. "Private, what's with the googly eyes?!" The leader jumped in front of the private and stared into the small penguin's eyes. They looked weird to him. They were staring right at him, possibly through him. Private's crossed eyes always looked past him, not through him. Penguins weren't transparent and that didn't fly with him. "You eyeing me, soldier?"
"No, Skipper." answered Private.
"What are you looking at?"
"You, sir." Private chirped.
"Don't you look at me when I'm talking to you!" Skipper ordered. "How do I know your head's not some sort of wacked out control center?"
"Skipper, sir?" Kowalski called his commander.
"…one with heat seeking enemy missiles? Do I look hot to you?" Skipper eyed private suspiciously, leaning into the small penguin's face.
"Sir, permission to speak?" asked Kowalski.
"Granted." grinned the skipper.
"We may be being watched." Kowalski stated.
"Hoover Dam! I knew it!" Skipper cried. He grabbed Private by his feathers and hoisted him into the air. "Who are you working for!?"
"It isn't the private, sir." Kowalski told him.
Skipper threw Private on the ground, starting to look around the circus tent for spies. "Who then?"
"I believe the danger is behind you and six feet above." pointed Kowalski.
The leader turned around to be face to face with huge ghastly teeth. He jumped back and used the private who had just gotten up again as a body shield. "Danish missionaries! Deadly! They've found me, men! It's time to sacrifice your lives for your leader! Battle positions!"
"Woah!" Alex stepped back as the two tallest penguins jumped into a fighting stance in front of their leader. "No need for all the cuckoo stuff! It's just us!"
The penguins didn't stand down. They just glared hard at the lion in front of them.
"You know…? Alex, Marty, Gloria, and Melman?" tried Alex, hopefully. The lion sighed. "You know, the freaks?"
"I don't know any freaks." Skipper said, peeking his head out from behind Private's.
"Come on Skipper! We've been neighbors for years!" Alex exclaimed, taking a few steps towards them. "And we traveled like, half way around the world together!"
Kowalski and Rico hardened their stances, ready to attack the lion if necessary.
"Back up, hippie!" shouted Skipper. "You don't know who you're dealing with!"
"Of course I know who I'm dealing with." said Alex.
"What's my name?" Skipper narrowed his eyes.
"Skipper."
"Oh, so you do know me." Skipper shoved Private aside and off the crate they were all standing on. "In that case, what's his name?" The leader pointed to another penguin.
"Easy, that's Kowalski, your second in command over crazy operations." answered Alex.
"What about him?" Skipper pointed again.
Alex smiled. "Good old Rico, right there."
"You're good, Rooski" The leader grinned.
"What? No, I'm not Rooski, Vitaly's Rooski."
"Who's Vitaly?" asked Skipper.
"He's the tiger..." Alex groaned at their unchanging expressions. "Oh for the love of— You guys are joking, right?"
The penguins looked at him blankly. Kowalski looked confused, Skipper was dead serious, Rico blinked and Private got up from the floor he was just thrown on for a second time. Private was just smiling without a care.
The lion laughed, thinking it was all a joke. "Good joke guys. Like you expect me to believe that none of you know anybody else's names other than your own."
Gloria looked unconvinced. "Alex, I don't think they're joking. They look pretty serious to me."
"No way!" Alex said. "I refuse to believe that none of them ever bothered to learn any of our names after all we've been through; the Central Park Zoo, Grand Central Station, Madagascar, Africa, and now we're in a circus tent in Europe. We've done way too much stuff for them just not to know our names!"
"Maybe that's it." Marty suggested.
"Maybe what's it?" asked Melman.
"Maybe we've done so much stuff that none of us ever bothered to sit down and you know, take a load off." shrugged Marty.
Melman nodded. "That makes sense."
"No, that doesn't make any sense!" exclaimed Alex. "No one is that preoccupied."
"Ahem." Kowalski interrupted and got the attention of everyone in the tent. He looked to Skipper. "Permission to address the lion, sir?"
Skipper waved his flipper as a sign to go ahead. "Good idea, Kowalski. You make sense of this."
Kowalski nodded his regards, jumping down from the crate at the lion's feet. The lieutenant showed Alex a notebook.
Alex looked at the tallest penguin weird before accepting the notebook and looking at it. "Uh, what's this?"
"That is our current mission files as of the last few years." Kowalski informed him.
This enraged Skipper. "What are you doing?! That's classified business! What are you thinking, soldier?!"
"Sorry, sir. I just thought they should be informed." saluted the lieutenant.
Alex looked away from the penguins. The one who gave him the notebook was being scolded by the leader, and occasionally smacked. Skipper was saying something about double agent puffins when Alex decided to look down at the notebook. There were two lines of words written. The first line said 'Escape and find new home', but this statement had been crossed out. The second line read 'Get hippies back to New York****'. This line was circled in bold black with four multicolored sticker stars next to it. That was all that was on the paper.
The lion was a little surprised and once he read it over a few more times he handed it to Gloria who showed it back to Marty and Melman. The zoosters were all generally surprised at the paper.
"Wow." Alex gaped. "I don't know what to say…but back to the reason we're here right now. We were kind of wondering if you guys could drop everything you're doing and do us a huge favor—"
Gloria elbowed the lion, putting her hands on her hips.
"Ow! What?" exclaimed Alex, rubbing his sore shoulder.
"This is just great!" Skipper cried, pacing around in the tent. "Our entire operation is compromised! What are we going to tell those hippies now?! That we can't take them back to the zoo?"
Private nodded with a smile and Skipper threw his flipper back, smacking that smile right off.
"We will get our friends back to New York!" confirmed Skipper. "Even if it kills Private!"
"Perhaps that's it, sir." said Kowalski.
"Perhaps what's it?" Skipper asked the lieutenant.
Kowalski pointed to his notebook and Alex handed it over to him. The lieutenant flipped to a new page. He started jotting things down, scribbling hastily until he was satisfied. He showed his calculations to Rico who nodded with excitement. Kowalski then showed the drawings to Skipper. "Sir," nodded Kowalski to his superior.
"I could live with that." shrugged Skipper. "What say you, Private?"
Private, who was smiling once more, went up eagerly to see the new plan his superiors would soon put into place. His smile faded as he read the hastily drawn pictures further, until he was finished looking at the drawings. The youngest penguin's flippers hung limply at his sides and he looked nothing less than terrified at what he just read.
Skipper saw nothing wrong with it. He simply slung his flipper around the frightened young penguin. "I say we act on this new operation as soon as possible, and mark the private down as a flight risk. I don't trust the little rascal."
"Yes, sir." Kowalski said and continued jotting down notes.
The leader nodded with satisfaction before he noticed something. He looked up to the big animals who were staring at him. "Can we help you?"
"Uh yeah," Alex nodded. "You can, actually. We were wondering if you could go handle the whole elephant-kid issue. Now I didn't know if we should just pull him out or—"
Gloria elbowed the lion again.
"Ow!" Alex glared.
Gloria turned to Skipper. "We just wanted to say thank you for all the help you've been giving us."
"It's no problem, doll. Happy to serve you hippies in whatever it is you're doing." said Skipper.
"We'll leave you to go back to whatever it is you were doing." The hippo started pushing out her other three friends. The only one who objected was Alex.
"Wait! What about the elephant issue?" Alex demanded.
"Bye!" Marty called to the penguins.
"See you around, stripes." Skipper waved. "Later hippies!"
"Skipper—" Private started.
"Smile and wave to the hippies, boys." instructed the leader.
All the penguins did so except for Private until Alex, Gloria, Marty, and Melman had left their tent.
Skipper immediately stopped waving. His fake smile faded to annoyance. "I thought they'd never leave…" The leader sighed. "Good acting boys, and good fake mission plans Kowalski. They looked real to boot. That'll keep those freaks out of our feathers for a few more trips."
"Playing dumb," started Kowalski. "I knew it would work, sir."
"But Skipper," chirped the private, looking concerned.
"What is it Private?"
"Aren't we ever really going back to the zoo?" asked Private.
"Of course not!" Skipper told him. "We're free now. Why on earth would we ever go back to that concentration death camp?"
Private was confused. "I thought we were taking them back, Skipper."
"Kowalski, please explain the real mission plans to the private." Skipper said to his lieutenant.
"Yes, sir." Kowalski said before jumping down in front of the smallest penguin. "Operation: Make the hippies believe we are taking them back to the zoo but instead use them as a ploy to travel the world."
Skipper grinned. "The best plan we've ever enacted."
Rico nodded and pulled a stick of dynamite out of who knows where. With a crazed look he hopped down from the crates and began running in the direction the hippies went off in, out of the tent. "Kaboom! Kaboom! Ehehehehe!"
"Woah, woah!" exclaimed Skipper and jumped in front of Rico's path. "Not yet, we still need them around." The leader then smirked and added, "For now,"
Rico looked disappointed but walked back over to the crates with his head down.
"Now that that's settled, where were we?" asked Skipper.
"Puffins, sir." said Kowalski, picking back up his pen and paper.
"Right." Skipper nodded and began pacing in front of his soldiers, picking back up from when they were interrupted. "If a puffin makes a pellet, I want to know about it—"
"Do you know a puffin, Skipper?" asked Private.
"I did." Skipper answered coolly.
"Were you two friends then?"
Skipper smiled. "The best of!"
Private smiled back. "Where is he now?"
"Oh, he's dead." answered Skipper simply. "I killed him back in '99."
The private's face fell. "I thought you said he was your friend, Skipper."
"Oh Private, I kill all my friends!" Skipper laughed. "It's only always a matter of time before when." The leader clapped him on the back and went back to the meeting about evading Dubois.
The private didn't listen to what his leader was saying or what Kowalski was calculating. Private noticed a piece of paper not far off from the lieutenant's feet. It was the plans that had scared him before, the one that both Skipper and Kowalski agreed to. The smallest penguin picked it up without anyone noticing and looked it over again. It showed all four penguins standing there like normal. The only difference was that he, the private, was crossed out of the picture.