The mask.
Warning: this fic contains a boy+ boy relationship and much Sora bashing.
Tash: hello, I'm the writer of this fic and this is the disclaimer bit, I don't own Digi, you'd know if I did because Sora would have remained in the cave of darkness and 02 would be about Mat and Tai getting together. As you can gather I'm not awful fond of Sora, as to why, to save time lets just assume I'm shallow and I hate her 'cus she gets with Mat.
Mat: Oh so you're finally writing this then. Hi I'm Yamato Ishida, Tash apologises in advance if she accidentally slips into using the dub names but she's only just learned that we have proper names. She also wishes to point out that she may write me a little bit out of character because she loves me when I have angst. Errors of spelling or punctuation are due to a complete lack of respect for the English language.
Tash: Yes thank you Yama. Ages are as followed
Mat=18
Tai=18
T.K=12
Kari=12
Joe=20
Izzy=17
Ken=12
Davis=12
Yolie=12
Cody=9
Sora=18
Mimi=18
^ indicates thought and things and phone covos will have a @ before they start.
~ Indicates flashback and # indicates the end of the flashback. On with the fic…
*
My name is Yamato Ishida and the last four years of my life have been a lie. Hey who am I kidding my whole life's been a lie since the divorce. I thought nothing would ever break my parents up they were so in love, then one day something snapped. I was to young at the time to really understand what was going on, dad just told me that we were going on a trip and that I wasn't going to be living with mum any more. That day tore my heart into a thousand pieces because it pulled me away from my little brother Takeru. It really hurt to be away from him but I never really knew how much until I was a little older. Four years ago Takeru and me got sucked into the digital world with five other kids. That's where I first met Taichi Kamiya my supposed `best friend`. I guess even back then I saw something in him that I'd never seen in anyone else, a willingness to except everyone for who they are. I guess it was my desire to impress him that made me hide away from myself, made me cover away years of hurt with a new improved me. I hated it when he'd read into things more than I wanted, because I felt like he could see through the lie into my battered and bruised psyche. The first time he did it was the day that Gabumon digivolved.
~ "Do you guy's even live in the same house?"
"Not any more, our folks split up ages ago so we don't see much of each other."*
"That explains a lot."# Those words hurt me, I mean Tai made it sound like I was being real jerky to Takeru when I was trying my best. I ran away from his insight that time but the next time he wouldn't let me. Devimon had split us up and I was sick with worry for Takeru, I let Gabumon see that worry because as my digimon it was his right. Tai found his way to us with the help of a weird looking digimon that I dubbed frosty the snowmon. The second Tai turned up I hid away my worry, but he saw that I was concerned about something. I tried to run away but the bastard rugby tackled me to the floor. I couldn't let him see past my front so I got angry. It's not that I wanted to punch Tai specifically, I just wanted to punch something and he was right there. Any way by the time I'd dredged up all my anger I was too tired to hide away, so I cried. God that was embarrassing. I cried because I was being so fucking stupid, I cried because I missed my brother but most of all I cried because tai knew me, really knew me and was still there being my friend.
I wish I could say that after such an interesting experience I gave up pretending and allowed everyone to see what I was feeling but I didn't. I don't know why I didn't. I suppose I thought that they'd think I was being skittish, changing my personality to try to make me look better and I didn't want that, better to be known as a bastard than as a weakling. That's why when Pupetmon got my bro I shouted at everyone who tried to be helpful. I shouted at Tai for `understanding` and I shouted at Sora for destroying my way of getting to him. Then he showed up and I realised that he was doing fine fending for himself and that I wasn't needed anymore. That destroyed my world to know that I was no longer needed, and so when Cherrymon told me that destroying Tai was my answer I was inclined to agree. If I had been on this world without Tai things would have been so different. I wouldn't of pretend to be a bastard I could have been myself and then I wouldn't of pushed Takeru away. If I could get rid of Tai I could tell everyone that I was sorry and then lead them into victory. It sounds really weird now that I think back through it. I suppose that damn tree was controlling my mind with something. Any way I fought Tai and just as victory was mine the digital world decided to pick that moment to tell us why we had been chosen. By the time we got back down to the digital world Cherrymon's influence had left me and I was feeling apologetic for fighting Tai.
I guess that's why I went away from the group, to sort out all my emotions and then to stop myself from bottleling them. I didn't realise how much darkness I'd been carrying on my back until Gabumon helped me wash it out of my system. After that I was ready to bare my soul to the world, allow myself to feel again. The first thing the new me felt was an odd sense of being incomplete. Without Tai who was I proving anything to? His opinion of me mattered more than anyone else's. I didn't actually realise why that was till later, at the time I assumed that the tingling need I had for Tai was friendship. I guess I grew up a little that day.
We went on to save both our world and the digital one from great evil. Then we went home. Mum moved closer to dad and me after that so Takeru and Me see lots more of each other. I joined a band called the Teenage Wolves and started high school. The time in the digiworld had done something to me though, I kept feeling that odd incomplete feeling and almost habitually I began to hide behind my mask again.
*
Tash: There you go one chapter done more to come. Flame if you wish but only about plotline. Suggestions for what to next would be welcome. I know that you won't review, I never do!!! So I won't threaten you about not writing more.
Mat: I thought you said this would be Tito.
Tash: (sigh) look I'll get some Tito goodness in next time.
Tai: Promise (.
Tash: Yes. But no lemon incase anyone's wondering
Mat + Tai: Shame!!!
* This isn't the exact wording I altered it because it's more correct than the original.
Warning: this fic contains a boy+ boy relationship and much Sora bashing.
Tash: hello, I'm the writer of this fic and this is the disclaimer bit, I don't own Digi, you'd know if I did because Sora would have remained in the cave of darkness and 02 would be about Mat and Tai getting together. As you can gather I'm not awful fond of Sora, as to why, to save time lets just assume I'm shallow and I hate her 'cus she gets with Mat.
Mat: Oh so you're finally writing this then. Hi I'm Yamato Ishida, Tash apologises in advance if she accidentally slips into using the dub names but she's only just learned that we have proper names. She also wishes to point out that she may write me a little bit out of character because she loves me when I have angst. Errors of spelling or punctuation are due to a complete lack of respect for the English language.
Tash: Yes thank you Yama. Ages are as followed
Mat=18
Tai=18
T.K=12
Kari=12
Joe=20
Izzy=17
Ken=12
Davis=12
Yolie=12
Cody=9
Sora=18
Mimi=18
^ indicates thought and things and phone covos will have a @ before they start.
~ Indicates flashback and # indicates the end of the flashback. On with the fic…
*
My name is Yamato Ishida and the last four years of my life have been a lie. Hey who am I kidding my whole life's been a lie since the divorce. I thought nothing would ever break my parents up they were so in love, then one day something snapped. I was to young at the time to really understand what was going on, dad just told me that we were going on a trip and that I wasn't going to be living with mum any more. That day tore my heart into a thousand pieces because it pulled me away from my little brother Takeru. It really hurt to be away from him but I never really knew how much until I was a little older. Four years ago Takeru and me got sucked into the digital world with five other kids. That's where I first met Taichi Kamiya my supposed `best friend`. I guess even back then I saw something in him that I'd never seen in anyone else, a willingness to except everyone for who they are. I guess it was my desire to impress him that made me hide away from myself, made me cover away years of hurt with a new improved me. I hated it when he'd read into things more than I wanted, because I felt like he could see through the lie into my battered and bruised psyche. The first time he did it was the day that Gabumon digivolved.
~ "Do you guy's even live in the same house?"
"Not any more, our folks split up ages ago so we don't see much of each other."*
"That explains a lot."# Those words hurt me, I mean Tai made it sound like I was being real jerky to Takeru when I was trying my best. I ran away from his insight that time but the next time he wouldn't let me. Devimon had split us up and I was sick with worry for Takeru, I let Gabumon see that worry because as my digimon it was his right. Tai found his way to us with the help of a weird looking digimon that I dubbed frosty the snowmon. The second Tai turned up I hid away my worry, but he saw that I was concerned about something. I tried to run away but the bastard rugby tackled me to the floor. I couldn't let him see past my front so I got angry. It's not that I wanted to punch Tai specifically, I just wanted to punch something and he was right there. Any way by the time I'd dredged up all my anger I was too tired to hide away, so I cried. God that was embarrassing. I cried because I was being so fucking stupid, I cried because I missed my brother but most of all I cried because tai knew me, really knew me and was still there being my friend.
I wish I could say that after such an interesting experience I gave up pretending and allowed everyone to see what I was feeling but I didn't. I don't know why I didn't. I suppose I thought that they'd think I was being skittish, changing my personality to try to make me look better and I didn't want that, better to be known as a bastard than as a weakling. That's why when Pupetmon got my bro I shouted at everyone who tried to be helpful. I shouted at Tai for `understanding` and I shouted at Sora for destroying my way of getting to him. Then he showed up and I realised that he was doing fine fending for himself and that I wasn't needed anymore. That destroyed my world to know that I was no longer needed, and so when Cherrymon told me that destroying Tai was my answer I was inclined to agree. If I had been on this world without Tai things would have been so different. I wouldn't of pretend to be a bastard I could have been myself and then I wouldn't of pushed Takeru away. If I could get rid of Tai I could tell everyone that I was sorry and then lead them into victory. It sounds really weird now that I think back through it. I suppose that damn tree was controlling my mind with something. Any way I fought Tai and just as victory was mine the digital world decided to pick that moment to tell us why we had been chosen. By the time we got back down to the digital world Cherrymon's influence had left me and I was feeling apologetic for fighting Tai.
I guess that's why I went away from the group, to sort out all my emotions and then to stop myself from bottleling them. I didn't realise how much darkness I'd been carrying on my back until Gabumon helped me wash it out of my system. After that I was ready to bare my soul to the world, allow myself to feel again. The first thing the new me felt was an odd sense of being incomplete. Without Tai who was I proving anything to? His opinion of me mattered more than anyone else's. I didn't actually realise why that was till later, at the time I assumed that the tingling need I had for Tai was friendship. I guess I grew up a little that day.
We went on to save both our world and the digital one from great evil. Then we went home. Mum moved closer to dad and me after that so Takeru and Me see lots more of each other. I joined a band called the Teenage Wolves and started high school. The time in the digiworld had done something to me though, I kept feeling that odd incomplete feeling and almost habitually I began to hide behind my mask again.
*
Tash: There you go one chapter done more to come. Flame if you wish but only about plotline. Suggestions for what to next would be welcome. I know that you won't review, I never do!!! So I won't threaten you about not writing more.
Mat: I thought you said this would be Tito.
Tash: (sigh) look I'll get some Tito goodness in next time.
Tai: Promise (.
Tash: Yes. But no lemon incase anyone's wondering
Mat + Tai: Shame!!!
* This isn't the exact wording I altered it because it's more correct than the original.