Eyes scan the room. Itemise. List.
Grey computer on the desk.
Black stereo on the shelf.
White phone beside it.
Stack of CD's, piled up and leaning against the books which also seem to sag as if they are
Tired?
Lonely?
Lost?
Clothes tangled on the floor. Chaotic
Silence.
Cross the room. Reach the
Bed.
Rumpled sheets.
Pillow askew.
Teddy lying abandoned on her face far away from the covers that are meant to keep her
Warm.
Cold. The bed is cold. The room is cold. It is
Empty.
It has been empty a long time.
Mother leans against the desk.
Grey computer is the only thing alive in the room besides her.
Black stereo has not played music for an age.
White phone gathers dust.
Clothes have not been worn in
How long?
Too long.
Mother sinks down on the bed. She picks up Teddy, holds her
Close to her heart. She begins to rock her back and forth.
Grey computer hums. An artificial sound.
Mother lies down, curled around Teddy.
Grey computer hums.
Mother falls asleep.
Phone rings.
Once.
Twice.
Answering machine clicks on.
Mother sleeps.
Voice.
"Hey Mum. It's me. Uh . . . this is harder than I thought it would be . . . well, first off, I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye. But I couldn't. So, I'm doing it now."
Deep breath. The room listens.
"I want you to not worry about me Mum. I'm safe. I'm happy here, or as happy as anyone can be while alive. So don't try to find me. It's better if it ends here."
Mother shifts. Teddy is turned toward the machine.
"I want you to know that I didn't leave because of you. None of this is your fault. You were a good mother. I miss you. I . . . "
Teddy listens.
"I love you. And whatever you hear about me, well, it probably won't be true."
Listen.
"Goodbye Mum. I have to go now."
Clunk. Answering machine clicks off.
Mother sleeps, Teddy held tight in her arms.
Close to her heart.