Asterisk Love By Lissy Doll
Summary: A demon's life was filled with loneliness; Naruto learned that lesson early on. He never thought he would find love, but he did… in the wrong place. Sasuke can care less. And in a few months time, Naruto will lose the only person he has every felt any real emotions towards. True love can't prevail this time because Naruto's story doesn't have a happy ending. He's a demon, after all.
Pairings: Sasunaru, Sasusaku, Kakairu
Rating: R
Warning: Extreme Angst and absolutely no happy ending… at least for our favorite little fox demon.
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He was their prodigy, their savior, their only hope. And she was brilliant, she was beautiful, she was the epitome of perfection. Naturally, they would make the perfect couple. It was planned out, of course, their future. I don't doubt for a second, however, that she never loved him.
Because I know that she loved him with every fiber of her being, with all the blood flowing in her inadequate veins. But we all knew he didn't love her, he didn't love anyone. Not even the boy that was willing to sacrifice everything for him.
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It was raining again, and I felt so shitty being stuck inside for God knows how long. I'd rather be on boring B class missions than stuck here. I spent so many lonely nights here as a child, that now as a teenager, I refuse to look at the peeling cream-colored paint.
I traced the cracks and let my eye shift towards the sky. The angry, gray clouds swirled in the sky, and thin swords of lights slashed across its body. A noise that would scare me as a child accompanied the light.
"Hey, Sasuke, do you think this rain will ever end?" I whined. He looked at me irritably, "Dobe." he answered simply. I pouted, yeah, that's my cold bastard for you. "Maybe it'll end tomorrow. Who knows?" He said after five minutes of silence. Rolling over on his side, he collected the ends of the sheet and pulled it up to his waist. I smiled and snuggled into his naked form.
------------------------------------------- 4 years later:
I looked up at the bright blue sky; the sun beat down upon my tan face and shone brightly in my eyes. I sighed, it's been thirty minutes now, and Sasuke still hasn't shown up. It's been 6 years since we began this. I really have no idea how to describe what we have.
Sasuke and I, when it comes to relationship, are complicated. What began as a way to work out sexual frustration quickly escalated to something more personal... at least on my part. Somewhere between the "fuck buddy" and "Friends with benefit" routine, I fell in love with him.
Yeah, me, Konoha's number one, loudest, most surprising ninja, Uzumaki Naruto. Funny, isn't it? Whoever thought that a rivalry would turn into something so odd and unhealthy. You would think that I feel insecure about this arrangement, but surprisingly, as long as I'm with him, I really don't care what I am to him or what role I play.
I saw a figure approaching from the corner of my eyes, "Hey, Neji!" I yelled at the Hyuuga boy. He stood emotionlessly for a few seconds, while I stood there with a goofy grin on my face. How easy it is to pull off this facade.
At the age of 23, I am still able to pull off the clown mask routine and fool everyone around me. If anything, I perfected this art. "Have you heard?" He asked me shortly. "Heard what?" I asked with a puzzled expression on my face. Neji made a face and replied, "Uchiha asked Haruno Sakura to marry him."
Those words never registered in my mind, my smile stood frozen on my face.
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What did it matter, really? I knew this moment was inevitable... but I still hoped, somewhere deep down, that I was enough to make him happy. Who am I kidding? I couldn't keep myself happy, let alone the sole survivor of the Uchiha clan. Besides, it's understandable; he needs to revive his clan.
Revive his clan... that reason always seems to fill in the gap, but this time, it did nothing for the gigantic hole in my heart. What hurts most wasn't the fact that he discarded me faster than yesterday's garbage, but the fact that he never informed me beforehand. I had to find out from Neji, Neji of all people! The boy had social skills of a fucking brick wall.
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I glared at my reflection. The person staring back at me still had that goofy grin on his face. His cerulean eyes formed an upside down U and his whiskered cheeks puffed up with the gigantic grin gracing his face. I wanted to smash the mirror, to scream that this wasn't really me, that I really deserve some sort of acknowledgement from Sasuke... instead of being pushed aside. But instead, I continued to smile.
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"Naruto, I'm so glad you came. All of this planning is getting so hectic.," she said to me with an elegant smile upon her lips. I smiled back at her and replied, "Well, of course I was gonna drop by, Sakura-chan. Knowing that teme, he probably left all the work to you!" I exclaimed nobly.
She giggled with delight and her eyes glittered with affection. When we were younger, she had no time to be nice to me, her words were always scornful and sardonic, but now, she's more considerate, she's more selfless.
I suppose it's because she matured. After all, we're in the shinobi business; we mature out of instinct naturally. Or maybe it was because she finally got what her heart desired: the man of her dreams; the man that has been sleeping with me for the past 6 years.
People seem to act less selfish when they have everything they want, or so it seems.
It makes me feel like absolute shit to think about it. This was her fairy tale come to life, and here I am, moping and wishing ill things upon her. After all, she deserved it, didn't she? She deserves her happy life with her prince charming. But what did I deserve? To be tossed aside and forgotten? To be alone and unloved? Sounds about right to me. I feel so petty. When did Uzumaki Naruto become so petty? Oh yeah, when he decided to go and fall for Konoha's number one bastard.
"I was hoping Sasuke would help me with the wedding plans... but he's so busy with ANBU business that he rarely even makes it in time for our evening meal." She said with worry etching her beautiful face.
Evening meal... that implication was not lost on me. They haven't married yet, and they are already practicing the traditions of a married couple. I wonder if he had slept with her already...
"Naruto, do you think the flowers should be wisterias or lilies?" I shook myself out of my stupor and stared at her stupidly.
"For what?" I asked slowly.
She laughed and replied, "Silly, for the reception hall, of course."
I scratched my head and laughed uncomfortably, "Well, I dunno, I mean, I'm not an interior designer. I wouldn't know what matches or is aesthetically pleasing.
She laughed along with me, but somehow the room felt colder than warmer with comfort and joy. She looked off wistfully, "I feel so weak, but I miss him so much." she said softly. I smiled at her with all the sincerity I had left, "Don't worry, he'll come back and you guys can have that happily ever after." I said to her comfortingly as I pat her hand.
I wonder if she believed me, I wouldn't believe me if I knew what was really going on. Sometimes I wonder, what would happen if I let it slip that I have been sleeping with Sasuke for the last 6 years? Would she hate me?
Most likely, but for what reasons?
In the end, it was she that won, not me. It is she that will get the happily ever after and the tons of grandchildren... and the prince charming. I... I got 6 years of memories that serves to be a painful reminder of my dysfunctional relationship with said prince charming.
"Hey, Sakura, I promised Iruka-sensei that I would have ramen with him. I hope you don't mind, but I gotta run." I said to her, my eyes avoiding direct contact.
I feel as though if I look at her she can see through all my lies, see through all the treachery and deceit. I have enough people hating me as it is, I don't need my old teammate hating me as well. She smiled and said, "Have fun Naruto." I walked out of the manor as fast as I could, but my feet never carried me to the supposed appointment I had with Iruka-sensei, instead it took me to the Hokage monument.
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They say that at a certain moment in one's life, one will feel an immense sense of despair... what a load of horseshit. Despair? Despair is that lovely sixty-dollar bottle of designer perfume a husband buys for his wife to make up for cheating on her with her sister.
What I felt wasn't despair; it was nothing. A person is measured by how much pain he has suffered through the course of his life, but isn't it more of, pain is measured by how much of a human being he is? 'Such nonsensical thoughts...' I think to myself. Smiling so softly it hurt my cheek, I got up from my perch on Yondaime's head and walked home.
The streets were empty of life; all the happy people were home with their loved ones, having dinner. Such heart-warming sights greeted me through the windows. I walked aimlessly, not really minding my step.
"You might want to watch where you're going before you bump into that brick wall."
A low voice informed me. My mind not registering, and my feet continuing until I heard a comedic 'thunk' and saw stars, then did I knew that I had hit the wall the stranger had inform me of.
"Thanks." I muttered
He chuckled lowly, and reached out to grab my hands. I looked up from rubbing my head, and the sight that greeted me was one that surprised the hell out of me. "Gaara?" I asked, uncertainty lacing my voice. He chuckled again, "No, it's Gaara's evil twin. Though that would be redundant because I am evil."
I smiled, "Aww, Gaara made a funny." I said, poking fun at him... and literally poking him in the ribs as well. His left eye twitched slightly, as a grimace graced his face.
"So, what the hell are you doing here anyways?" I asked; my head cocked to the side in curiosity. He looked at me for a brief moment before replying, "Kazekage business, really, it's none of your business Uzumaki." He said airily. I stuck my tongue out at him. "I didn't want to know in the first place." He smirked and replied, "You asked."
"Anyways, where are you staying?" I asked, bouncing on the balls of my feet. He stared at the sky for a considerable amount of time. It made me wonder if he was looking for aliens or something. "I don't know… I suppose wherever the Hokage has for me." I laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. "No, no, no, you have to stay with me. I insist." I said. He arched a fine eyebrow and said, "Are you sure."
"Yup, I won't take no for an answer, Panda-man." I said with my shit-eating grin on my face. He smiled hesitantly and nodded.
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"Naruto!" I heard a shrill voice cry out my name. I turned around in the mid-vacuuming of my udon noodles. Swallowing my mouthful, I paste on the biggest grin I could muster. "Hey, Sakura-chan. What are you doing here?" She reached my seat, panting and out of breath. "Have… Have you… seen… Sasuke-kun?" She asked me, in between breaths, as she clutched her sides. I looked up at the sky for a moment, "No, I haven't seen him for weeks." I said thoughtfully. She frowned deeply before walking away without a goodbye.
I looked down at my bowl, my appetite lost. I felt someone place their hand on my shoulder in an attempt at comforting me. Looking up, piercing green eyes met my gaze. I smiled at him, and he reciprocated the gesture. "You want to go for a walk?" He asked me quietly. I was thankful to him for not asking about my sudden depression. I nodded. We headed off towards the training grounds as soon as he paid the bills, on his insistent.
It was a habit I developed a while back. Whenever I became depressed, I would go for a walk around the training grounds. It wasn't that often I felt depress; I had Sasuke. Gaara and I circled the training area several times, but he didn't seem to mind. As we prepared to go around for the 15th time, I spotted a daisy out of the corner of my eye. It was lovely.
Its petals had a dusky, pale blue tint to it, and the middle was bright yellow, a personification of the sky in a flower. I leaned down to pick it up, but a pair of black combat boots came crashing down on my discovery. I sat in shock, and grief, over my dead flower. I didn't even notice the conversation occurring above me.
"That was very rude of you, Uchiha."
"What the hell are you doing here anyways?"
"I don't owe you an explanation, Uchiha."
"Hn."
"As eloquent as always, I see."
"…."
"Congratulations, by the way."
"On?"
"Your marriage with the Haruno girl."
That was what snapped me out of my stupor. I looked up, only to have piercing ebony eyes stare right back at me. I smiled nervously, "Hey there, Sasuke-teme." I said, with as much conviction as I had.
"Sakura is looking for you, you should go home, man." I said in a rushed tone to get him to leave quickly. He looked at me questioningly and said in his quiet, superior way, "I need to talk to you." I looked from Gaara to Sasuke, "Ummm… whatever it is, I'm sure you can tell me some other time. Sakura sounded really worried when she asked me if I knew where you were." I said in an attempt to get him to go. "She can wait a bit longer, I need to talk to you." He said again firmly. I gulped on the inside.
"I'll be right back, Gaara. You can head on to my place if you want, there's a key under the mat." I told him. He nodded and head off in the direction of my apartment, but not before giving Sasuke one last look. When Gaara was finally out of my line of sight, I turned to look at Sasuke. He looked right back at me with the same piercing gaze.
"I guess you've heard."
"Yeah, news like that spreads pretty quickly."
"I can't love you."
"I know."
"Good."
And with that he walked off. This was the so-important conversation he needed to have with me? Jesus, He could have said that all in front of Gaara. It's not as if he was apologizing for leaving me or something along that line.
He was basically telling me to fuck off. I sighed for probably about the 52638423847 millionth times. Sitting down on the floor, I picked up my crushed daisy. He loves me… He loves me not… He loves me… He loves me not… He loves me…
I reached the last petal on the misshapen flower. He loves me… not.
"You know, daisies have odd number petals most of the time, so when you do the whole 'loves me, loves me not' deal, it usually turns out loves me." A deep, nasally voice informed me. I looked up at the giant oak tree on my left; Kakashi's smiling eye greeted me. "Hey there Kakashi-sensei." I said with my usual goofy grin. "You didn't happen to hear that at first did you?" I asked him with a nervous smile.
"If you mean that conversation with Sasuke, no, I didn't. I came in the middle of your little flower ritual." He replied.
"Why? Is there something you don't want your sensei to know? Are you guys planning a surprise party for me!" He asked excitedly. "Will Iruka-sensei be there?" He continued with puppy eyes. "Preferably naked."
I heard him mutter under his breath. "Hey! You stay away from Iruka-sensei, you pervert! And no, we're not planning any stinking surprise party for you. It's not even your birthday!" I exclaimed angrily. "Stupid, perverted sensei" I thought to myself as I pouted. Kakashi, upon seeing the expression on my face, proceeded to bursting out in laughter. I got up from my position on the ground and stalked off to my apartment to see panda-man.
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Author's Note: Yeah, I know these things are pretty annoying and no one really bothers to read the author's note, but you should. Yes, you should. I'm sorry to say that my initial intention for this fic was to have Naruto heartbroken and alone, but I might reconsider the ending I have planned… it all depends.
Moving on, I'll try to update as fast as possible, but I can't guarantee anything. I'm doing this thing where I try to write and plan the story beforehand, instead of just going with the flow.
P.S. Thanks for reading the story my sweets.
P.P.S. Looking for beta. Contact me.