He wanted to be in love with her.
When she looked into his eyes, her hazel orbs gazing at him with such raw emotion, her special smile that she reserved just for him, the tip of her tongue pressed against her white teeth, his hearts ached.
It would have been so easy to let himself be in love, but he had made that mistake in the past, and he couldn't allow himself to do it again.
She had learned, early on, that while her charms were not ignored, he would quickly move away when she got too close, a hug was allowed but if she ventured beyond that he suddenly would have the need to do something else, something as far away from her as possible.
He had almost given in countless times, to be loved in that special way was something he craved more than he could ever let on, but these humans, as much as they were his favourites, he also knew how fragile they were. To love a Time Lord, was playing with fire and he had burnt too many of them before he learned his lesson.
So when he left her, with the only piece of himself he could safely give her, the two of them holding hands as he shut the TARDIS doors, he wished it was the one on the beach, not the one running away.
As the blue box dove and spun through the vortex he prayed to whatever deities might be listening that this would be the life she needed and that his other self would be the man to give her what she wanted.
Alone in the now empty time capsule, he felt wrung out, tired and every one of his nine hundred some odd years marched across his spine with spikes as he lowered himself into bed. Sure that the betrayal and hurt he had caused would keep him awake he was surprised to be woken up later to the sensation of soft hands cupping his face.
Not needing to turn on the lights, his keen eyes seeing very well in the dim light of his bedroom, he knew he was alone, yet he could feel the ghost like touch of another. His nerves on fire as the fingers stroked his jaw line and ventured lower.
Then another sense got in on the act, he blinked in astonishment as she appeared as a vision lying on her back, gazing up at him, her soft eyes twinkling with emotion as she reached for him again.
Had he not been sitting up, he could have sworn he was propped over her, by concentrating he could feel the tension in his arms as he kept his weight from her.
Then his mouth tingled as it seemed to make contact with hers, the warmth of her breath heating his cooler skin as she nibbled, licked and then saucily bit down on his lower lip, the mixture of pleasure and pain making him moan softly.
Her silky legs rubbed his ribs tauntingly and he no longer cared if this was a dream or a hallucination. He fell back against the bed, his breath coming in short gasps as his ghost lover raised her hips and pulled him into her body's warm embrace.
He had experience erotic dreams before but this was something new, even as he lay alone and motionless on the bed he was on some other plane of existence thrusting into her, first slowly, then as the tension built faster, harder, deeper as his mouth plundered hers. Her nails became talons, cutting into his skin as they tattooed her pleasure on his back.
Breathless, his fingers twisted in the sheets as his senses were assaulted anew he groaned as the sensations washed over him in ever increasing waves of pleasure. Then he went still then with one last gasp he shuddered and a warmth filled his thin body.
Rose snuggled into her new lover's arms, smiling at him as he tried to steady his breath, "do you think The Doctor has any idea what he missed out on?" she laughed as she kissed the still panting chest, slicked with sweat.
He pulled her in closer, an unreadable look in his dark eyes as a crooked grin formed on his face, "he does now."