'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the castle
Not a creature was stirring, not even Arwen's pet mouse frazzle;
The silk stockings were hung by the marble chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Legolas will soon be there;
The elven children were nestled all snug in their four post beds,
While visions of Lembas danced in their heads;
And Elrond in his long cotton gown, and I in my satin cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the 50 feet by 75 feet lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the four post bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the 7 feet high window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the mahogany shutters and threw up the linen sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my keen, wondering, sapphire eyes should appear,
But a slender, chipped, glass sleigh, and eight, white horses, I mean reindeer,
With a tall, stunning driver, so lively and full of fastness,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Legolas.
More rapid than Nazgul's his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now ELROHR!, Now, ELLADAN! Now, CELEBORN and VIXEN! On, GLORYFINDEL! on GALADRIEL! on LOTHLORIEN and BLITZEN!
To the top of the enormous porch! to the top of the 5 story wall!
Now fly away! Fly away! fly away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the castle-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Legolas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each normal sized hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Legolas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in velvet, from his golden head to his size 11 foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a orc just opening his sack.
His emerald green eyes -- how they twinkled! his pearly white teeth how merry!
His cheeks were like ghosts, his nose like an off white fairy!
His sexy, seductive lips were drawn up like a bow,
And the hair on his head was as white as the snow;
The stump of a manly wand he held tight in his teeth,
And a halo encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad jaw and a no little round belly,
Which didn't shake when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was skinny and strong, a right jolly prime elf,
And I gasped when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his lustful eye and a twist of his lovely head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word(as if he could), but went straight to his work,
And filled all the silk stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his manly wand aside of his perfect nose,And giving a nod, up the marble chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, before he crashed out of sight,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND STRIDER IF YOU DON'T STAY AWAY FROM ARWEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN A FIGHT!"
Not a creature was stirring, not even Arwen's pet mouse frazzle;
The silk stockings were hung by the marble chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Legolas will soon be there;
The elven children were nestled all snug in their four post beds,
While visions of Lembas danced in their heads;
And Elrond in his long cotton gown, and I in my satin cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the 50 feet by 75 feet lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the four post bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the 7 feet high window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the mahogany shutters and threw up the linen sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my keen, wondering, sapphire eyes should appear,
But a slender, chipped, glass sleigh, and eight, white horses, I mean reindeer,
With a tall, stunning driver, so lively and full of fastness,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Legolas.
More rapid than Nazgul's his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now ELROHR!, Now, ELLADAN! Now, CELEBORN and VIXEN! On, GLORYFINDEL! on GALADRIEL! on LOTHLORIEN and BLITZEN!
To the top of the enormous porch! to the top of the 5 story wall!
Now fly away! Fly away! fly away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the castle-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Legolas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each normal sized hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Legolas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in velvet, from his golden head to his size 11 foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a orc just opening his sack.
His emerald green eyes -- how they twinkled! his pearly white teeth how merry!
His cheeks were like ghosts, his nose like an off white fairy!
His sexy, seductive lips were drawn up like a bow,
And the hair on his head was as white as the snow;
The stump of a manly wand he held tight in his teeth,
And a halo encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad jaw and a no little round belly,
Which didn't shake when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was skinny and strong, a right jolly prime elf,
And I gasped when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his lustful eye and a twist of his lovely head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word(as if he could), but went straight to his work,
And filled all the silk stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his manly wand aside of his perfect nose,And giving a nod, up the marble chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, before he crashed out of sight,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND STRIDER IF YOU DON'T STAY AWAY FROM ARWEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN A FIGHT!"