Goldilocks and the Three Bears:
The Aftermath
Written By Jamie L. Jones
This story is written for and dedicated to my mom, because she is so silly and so is this.
Disclaimer: This characters in this story are not mine and never have been. Please don't sue me.
TAPE 062310KZM 1045PM DATE DELETED
G: I swear! The bears chased me out of this vacant house; it wasn't theirs, I know; and they threatened me.
P: Threatened you how?
G: They said they were going to eat me.
P: And you're sure the house was vacant?
G: I'm sure.
TAPE 062311KZM 1121AM DATE DELETED
PB: I can't believe this.
P: Can't believe what, exactly? That Goldilocks is suing you?
PB: She broke into my house! She should be charged with robbery!
P: She stole something?
PB: Well, she ate our food and destroyed several of our chairs!
P: But she didn't steal anything?
PB: No, she didn't.
TAPE 062312KZM 1232PM DATE DELETED
MB: We never said we would eat her.
P: No?
MB: No. We found her in my son's bed and she woke up and looked at us and jumped out the window.
P: Out the window?
MB: Yes! What isn't clear about this?!?
P: Please keep your voice down. Tell me the whole story.
TAPE O62313KZM 115PM DATE DELETED
P: And she ate YOUR porridge? Why yours?
BB: I dunno. Mine was just right, I guess.
P: What do you mean by "just right"?
BB: Not too hot, not too cold. You know, just like bath water should be.
And so began the legal battle between Goldilocks and the three Bears. My job was to piece together the information and come up with a true story. This was going to be difficult. But I knew that getting Baby Bear to talk would be easiest. Even with his lawyer around.
"Hello, Baby Bear," I said, smiling as he answered the door to the hotel room the Bears were staying in. "Oh. Hi," he replied nervously, " Need Momma Bear or Papa Bear?" I smiled at him. My theory was, the more I smile, the more
comfortable he is. " No thank you. I am here to talk to you." He shook his head. " No. Momma Bear said not to talk without my lawyer." He slammed the door, and it began to rain.
So maybe I shouldn't have been so sure about Baby Bear. What else would I have asked him anyways? His interview had covered everything. Everyone's alibi was a little different, but Goldilocks stood out like a sore thumb. I decided to investigate the next day. I arrived at Goldi's house at noon to see her in the garden, enjoying a tea party. Her guests were Mr. Stuffed Rabbit, Mrs. Stuffed Duck, and Mr. Stuffed Cat. There were no stuffed bears attending the party.
"Hello, Goldilocks. Is it all right if I call you Goldi?" I asked pleasantly. She turned to look at me. " Yes. But I'm sure you can tell I'm busy. A social affair. And I'd really not like to discuss legal matters in front of my guests." I looked at the stuffed animals propped up in the chairs. "I see. When can I come back?" "Hmmm. Well tonight I'm playing dolls with Blondi and staying the night at her house. I should be back by noon," she replied impatiently. "Yes, well I'll be on my way then," I replied on my way back to the car. I don't think she wanted me to hear, but she whispered, "good."
This case was going nowhere, fast. That's when I decided to visit the crime scene.
I walked in, right past Goldi's boxed in footprints. Making my way to the stairs, I saw the broken chair, supposedly belonging to Baby Bear. Upstairs the cops were tediously picking fibers from the
three beds. The shattered window let in the light breeze from outside. The Bears obviously lived here. This could not be vacant. And yet we never saw papers proving it. So I headed to the Bears lawyers to have a look at their house deed.
"Hello Mr. ---. I don't believe I caught your name," I smiled. " Mr. Withers. Can I help you in some way officer?" he said, trying to be charming. It didn't work. "Yes," I said, flashing my badge. " I need to see the Bears house deed." "Well, I don't have it," he replied in a snappy tone. It was odd to see both sides of this man so quickly. "Grandmother Bear does." I sighed. "Thank you for your help," I said, walking out the door.
The next day, I walked up the steps to Grandmother Bear's little cottage in the woods. I knocked on the door three times.
"Hello?" called an old woman's voice. "Hello, is Grandmother Bear here?" I replied politely. "That's me," she smiled. "I came to ask you about the Bears' house deed." Her look turned sour. "I don't have it. Mother Bear does." "Thank you," I said, shaking my head as I walked away.
Once again I found myself at the door of the Bears' hotel door. I
knocked, frowning.
"Hello?" answered Father Bear. "Hello, is Mother Bear here?" I replied bluntly, obviously unhappy. "Nope, she went to Wal-Mart. Had to buy nighttime diapers for Baby Bear. So what did you need?" he asked in a jolly tone. "Well, I needed the house deed but - ," I began. "Oh...I gave that to the Little Pigs to hold it last year when they opened their Give Us Money and Important Paperwork and We Promise We Won't Lose Them business! Nice guys, those pigs," he said, grinning proudly. "Thank you for your help, Mr. Bear," I said, sighing and walking away. "But I must go. I have a meeting with another client of mine and she is a tad impatient."
I walked to the door of Goldi's home. It was a nice place, surrounded by gardens and little ponds. The yard had little statuettes of angels and butterflies and things like that. The scent from the flowers traveled throughout the yard. The walkway to the front door had little brick step stones and the entire layout was cozy. I could tell that Goldi was a rich girl that was used to getting her way. I knocked on the door again and again, but there was no answer. She wasn't home. Suddenly I realized I was very used to sighing.
I arrived at Give Us Money and Important Paperwork and we Promise We Won't Lose Them at 1:30 P.M. The sign on the door said "If you want to come in, say the password. If you don't know the
password, knock." I knocked cautiously on the door, afraid of what might happen or who might come out. "I won't let you in," said a voice form inside the business. "Um," I stumbled, confused. "Why not?" "Not by the hair of my chiny chin chin," he called back. Then I knew what I needed to do. Awkwardly I called, "Then I'll huff...and I'll...puff, and I'll blow your house down." The door swung open and a little pig wearing a vest and glasses stood staring. "How did you know the password?" he replied angrily. "Lucky guess. I need some of your records. A house deed, actually," I said, flashing my badge. "No siree. I can't do that," he said. "And why not? I need it and I'm an officer and you're going to give me that house deed!" I yelled, losing my temper. "Warrant?" he asked in a condescending tone. I frowned; of course I didn't have one. I always forgot that little detail. "I'll have one when I come back. Until then, don't leave." "No warrant. I can leave if I want to. And I do want to. I have house calls to do, as I am also a doctor, so until you come with that little piece of magic, I refuse to listen to you. You aren't a real officer, "he snidely remarked as walked to his car, holding a package that said:
Bear's Deed House Bear's Insurance Car
Life House Health Furniture
"Wait!" I yelled. I walked over to him. "I need to take you, and your package, downtown." "Oh, are we going shopping?" he said sarcastically. "No," I replied with a grin. "We're going to have a look at your package."
Later I looked through the package. And sure enough, the Bears owned their house. Plus, it was fully insured and all the payments were up to date. So I was sure; Goldi lied. She knew they lived there. I wondered what else she'd lied about. The phone rang; I jumped nearly 2 feet in the air. "Hey there, officer," said the cheery voice on the other line. It was Goldi. "Hello, Goldilocks. Can I help you?" I asked. "You said you'd stop by. What happened?" "I came. You weren't there. I left." "Oh." "Why did you lie, Goldilocks?" "Excuse me?" Fear and surprise coated her voice. "Why did you lie? About the house?" "I didn't lie! It was vacant! No furniture 'cept a blanket on the floor! That's all I -" "Goldi, I found the house deed."
Silence form the other line. "And the insurance for several expensive, one-of-a-kind pieces of furniture. Including a miniature rocking chair." Still silence. "Goldi?" I heard a sniffle. "I-I did it," she said finally. "Did what, exactly?" "I came in. I was hungry and tired from my stroll in the woods, and I peeked in. Through the open door. I knew it wasn't vacant. The AC was on full blast and it felt SO good. There was steamy food on the table and I dunno why but I went in and ate. Oh man was the first one HOT! And the second was cold and nasty. But the last one...it was perfect. Then I saw the chairs. Uncomfortable...uncomfortable...and then, perfect. But a little small. It snapped underneath me and my tush hurt like crazy but the door started to open so I ran up the stairs. I was going through the beds, looking to hide, and I was in the last one when.......suddenly the stairs creaked. So I jumped under the blankets and I laid really still. I heard voices. BIG voices. So I started to shake. I was so scared. And the kid found me. He said, "There was someone sleeping in MY bed, and she's still there!!!" I didn't know what to do; I panicked. I ran and jumped out the window. The glass cut my skin but I didn't care. I ran away. I covered the cuts with concealer so you wouldn't see them," she spilled out. "Thank you for telling the truth, Goldilocks."
"Case closed," The judge's voice bellowed across the court room. I smiled. I was glad to be done with this case. Now it was time for my next case: Little Miss Muffet vs. The Spider.
Written By Jamie L. Jones
This story is written for and dedicated to my mom, because she is so silly and so is this.
Disclaimer: This characters in this story are not mine and never have been. Please don't sue me.
TAPE 062310KZM 1045PM DATE DELETED
G: I swear! The bears chased me out of this vacant house; it wasn't theirs, I know; and they threatened me.
P: Threatened you how?
G: They said they were going to eat me.
P: And you're sure the house was vacant?
G: I'm sure.
TAPE 062311KZM 1121AM DATE DELETED
PB: I can't believe this.
P: Can't believe what, exactly? That Goldilocks is suing you?
PB: She broke into my house! She should be charged with robbery!
P: She stole something?
PB: Well, she ate our food and destroyed several of our chairs!
P: But she didn't steal anything?
PB: No, she didn't.
TAPE 062312KZM 1232PM DATE DELETED
MB: We never said we would eat her.
P: No?
MB: No. We found her in my son's bed and she woke up and looked at us and jumped out the window.
P: Out the window?
MB: Yes! What isn't clear about this?!?
P: Please keep your voice down. Tell me the whole story.
TAPE O62313KZM 115PM DATE DELETED
P: And she ate YOUR porridge? Why yours?
BB: I dunno. Mine was just right, I guess.
P: What do you mean by "just right"?
BB: Not too hot, not too cold. You know, just like bath water should be.
And so began the legal battle between Goldilocks and the three Bears. My job was to piece together the information and come up with a true story. This was going to be difficult. But I knew that getting Baby Bear to talk would be easiest. Even with his lawyer around.
"Hello, Baby Bear," I said, smiling as he answered the door to the hotel room the Bears were staying in. "Oh. Hi," he replied nervously, " Need Momma Bear or Papa Bear?" I smiled at him. My theory was, the more I smile, the more
comfortable he is. " No thank you. I am here to talk to you." He shook his head. " No. Momma Bear said not to talk without my lawyer." He slammed the door, and it began to rain.
So maybe I shouldn't have been so sure about Baby Bear. What else would I have asked him anyways? His interview had covered everything. Everyone's alibi was a little different, but Goldilocks stood out like a sore thumb. I decided to investigate the next day. I arrived at Goldi's house at noon to see her in the garden, enjoying a tea party. Her guests were Mr. Stuffed Rabbit, Mrs. Stuffed Duck, and Mr. Stuffed Cat. There were no stuffed bears attending the party.
"Hello, Goldilocks. Is it all right if I call you Goldi?" I asked pleasantly. She turned to look at me. " Yes. But I'm sure you can tell I'm busy. A social affair. And I'd really not like to discuss legal matters in front of my guests." I looked at the stuffed animals propped up in the chairs. "I see. When can I come back?" "Hmmm. Well tonight I'm playing dolls with Blondi and staying the night at her house. I should be back by noon," she replied impatiently. "Yes, well I'll be on my way then," I replied on my way back to the car. I don't think she wanted me to hear, but she whispered, "good."
This case was going nowhere, fast. That's when I decided to visit the crime scene.
I walked in, right past Goldi's boxed in footprints. Making my way to the stairs, I saw the broken chair, supposedly belonging to Baby Bear. Upstairs the cops were tediously picking fibers from the
three beds. The shattered window let in the light breeze from outside. The Bears obviously lived here. This could not be vacant. And yet we never saw papers proving it. So I headed to the Bears lawyers to have a look at their house deed.
"Hello Mr. ---. I don't believe I caught your name," I smiled. " Mr. Withers. Can I help you in some way officer?" he said, trying to be charming. It didn't work. "Yes," I said, flashing my badge. " I need to see the Bears house deed." "Well, I don't have it," he replied in a snappy tone. It was odd to see both sides of this man so quickly. "Grandmother Bear does." I sighed. "Thank you for your help," I said, walking out the door.
The next day, I walked up the steps to Grandmother Bear's little cottage in the woods. I knocked on the door three times.
"Hello?" called an old woman's voice. "Hello, is Grandmother Bear here?" I replied politely. "That's me," she smiled. "I came to ask you about the Bears' house deed." Her look turned sour. "I don't have it. Mother Bear does." "Thank you," I said, shaking my head as I walked away.
Once again I found myself at the door of the Bears' hotel door. I
knocked, frowning.
"Hello?" answered Father Bear. "Hello, is Mother Bear here?" I replied bluntly, obviously unhappy. "Nope, she went to Wal-Mart. Had to buy nighttime diapers for Baby Bear. So what did you need?" he asked in a jolly tone. "Well, I needed the house deed but - ," I began. "Oh...I gave that to the Little Pigs to hold it last year when they opened their Give Us Money and Important Paperwork and We Promise We Won't Lose Them business! Nice guys, those pigs," he said, grinning proudly. "Thank you for your help, Mr. Bear," I said, sighing and walking away. "But I must go. I have a meeting with another client of mine and she is a tad impatient."
I walked to the door of Goldi's home. It was a nice place, surrounded by gardens and little ponds. The yard had little statuettes of angels and butterflies and things like that. The scent from the flowers traveled throughout the yard. The walkway to the front door had little brick step stones and the entire layout was cozy. I could tell that Goldi was a rich girl that was used to getting her way. I knocked on the door again and again, but there was no answer. She wasn't home. Suddenly I realized I was very used to sighing.
I arrived at Give Us Money and Important Paperwork and we Promise We Won't Lose Them at 1:30 P.M. The sign on the door said "If you want to come in, say the password. If you don't know the
password, knock." I knocked cautiously on the door, afraid of what might happen or who might come out. "I won't let you in," said a voice form inside the business. "Um," I stumbled, confused. "Why not?" "Not by the hair of my chiny chin chin," he called back. Then I knew what I needed to do. Awkwardly I called, "Then I'll huff...and I'll...puff, and I'll blow your house down." The door swung open and a little pig wearing a vest and glasses stood staring. "How did you know the password?" he replied angrily. "Lucky guess. I need some of your records. A house deed, actually," I said, flashing my badge. "No siree. I can't do that," he said. "And why not? I need it and I'm an officer and you're going to give me that house deed!" I yelled, losing my temper. "Warrant?" he asked in a condescending tone. I frowned; of course I didn't have one. I always forgot that little detail. "I'll have one when I come back. Until then, don't leave." "No warrant. I can leave if I want to. And I do want to. I have house calls to do, as I am also a doctor, so until you come with that little piece of magic, I refuse to listen to you. You aren't a real officer, "he snidely remarked as walked to his car, holding a package that said:
Bear's Deed House Bear's Insurance Car
Life House Health Furniture
"Wait!" I yelled. I walked over to him. "I need to take you, and your package, downtown." "Oh, are we going shopping?" he said sarcastically. "No," I replied with a grin. "We're going to have a look at your package."
Later I looked through the package. And sure enough, the Bears owned their house. Plus, it was fully insured and all the payments were up to date. So I was sure; Goldi lied. She knew they lived there. I wondered what else she'd lied about. The phone rang; I jumped nearly 2 feet in the air. "Hey there, officer," said the cheery voice on the other line. It was Goldi. "Hello, Goldilocks. Can I help you?" I asked. "You said you'd stop by. What happened?" "I came. You weren't there. I left." "Oh." "Why did you lie, Goldilocks?" "Excuse me?" Fear and surprise coated her voice. "Why did you lie? About the house?" "I didn't lie! It was vacant! No furniture 'cept a blanket on the floor! That's all I -" "Goldi, I found the house deed."
Silence form the other line. "And the insurance for several expensive, one-of-a-kind pieces of furniture. Including a miniature rocking chair." Still silence. "Goldi?" I heard a sniffle. "I-I did it," she said finally. "Did what, exactly?" "I came in. I was hungry and tired from my stroll in the woods, and I peeked in. Through the open door. I knew it wasn't vacant. The AC was on full blast and it felt SO good. There was steamy food on the table and I dunno why but I went in and ate. Oh man was the first one HOT! And the second was cold and nasty. But the last one...it was perfect. Then I saw the chairs. Uncomfortable...uncomfortable...and then, perfect. But a little small. It snapped underneath me and my tush hurt like crazy but the door started to open so I ran up the stairs. I was going through the beds, looking to hide, and I was in the last one when.......suddenly the stairs creaked. So I jumped under the blankets and I laid really still. I heard voices. BIG voices. So I started to shake. I was so scared. And the kid found me. He said, "There was someone sleeping in MY bed, and she's still there!!!" I didn't know what to do; I panicked. I ran and jumped out the window. The glass cut my skin but I didn't care. I ran away. I covered the cuts with concealer so you wouldn't see them," she spilled out. "Thank you for telling the truth, Goldilocks."
"Case closed," The judge's voice bellowed across the court room. I smiled. I was glad to be done with this case. Now it was time for my next case: Little Miss Muffet vs. The Spider.