Title: Leaving Him to Cry
"I don't love you... love you... love you..." The awful words echoed in
his head as he stared out the window. The image played in his mind. The way
his eyes pierced his own with anger and hate and the way he stiffened up at
his approach.
"I need you, Youji, even if you don't love me." Omi sniffed and wiped
his tears away.
Sitting in a café booth, Omi watched the people come and leave the
small café. He was early today since Mr. Yamamura had a trip to go on with
his wife. Omi stared at his vanilla shake for a while before
taking a small sip. He looked up again and saw his friends Shingo, Kaoru and Taka walk in.
They didn't see him since he purposely sat himself in the back corner of
the arcade. They looked around but once they didn't find what they were
looking for they said hi to Shuichi, the manager of the café, and
left.
Omi sighed gratefully. He really didn't want to talk to them right now.
He didn't want to put on a happy face and pretend that he was okay and
that everything would be fine.
Youji walked in and sat at the counter. He started talking to Shuichi
before ordering a coke.
Omi stared at his back with a sorrowful expression on his face. He
lost him. He didn't know how he did it but he did. He must have
done something awful to make him hate him so much. He tried to come up
with some things he did or said wrong. Several came up but none of
those certainly would make him hate him.
Did he say something that offended him? No.
Did he not love him enough? Omi shook his head. He loved him the best
he could.
Youji turned around and looked strait at him as if he knew exactly where
he was the whole time. Omi started in her seat before looking away,
blushing at being caught staring.
He heard his footsteps approach his booth before he found him sitting
across from her.
Omi stared cautiously at him, wondering what he would say now. Would
he simply tell him to get over him and stop making such a scene by
staring stupidly at him like a lovesick puppy? Flashes of the time before
they really knew each other appeared in his view. He could certainly
imagine him saying that back then. Maybe he still had an edge to him.
A second later he saw a moment in time where Youji wrapped his arm around
his waist as they sat on a bench watching the sunset. He remembered how
his hand found its way to his hair as it toyed with the sunkissed locks.
"Omi."
Omi snapped out of his thoughts and nearly burst out crying when he
came back to his harsh reality. Why couldn't he love him like that
anymore?
"Huh?"
"Are you okay?"
Omi stared at him, incredulous. He was asking if he was okay?!
Did he really care? Was this a dream?
Omi opened his month to say 'I'm fine now that you're here' but that
thought struck him as too clingy and besides he just might be taking his
caring question the wrong way. Should he just say 'yes, I'm fine' or should
he tell him the truth? Omi looked away from him. He couldn't lie to him
if he was looking at him in the eyes.
"I'm fine." His voice came out groggy and unconvincing. He wished his
voice was stronger but with him so close... he just couldn't be himself.
Youji nodded once then twice. Omi took one look at him and he knew that
he didn't believe him, "Well, Shuichi asked me to talk to you for a second
to make sure you're okay. He seemed a little worried."
Omi swallowed hard. So he wasn't doing this because he cared.
Omi felt tears come into his eyes. He tried to will them away but
they wouldn't mind! He hid his eyes from Youji's view, "I'm fine."
He repeated.
And then he was gone.
Youji walked to the arcade door, not even stopping to say goodbye to
Shuichi, he walked out into the afternoon sun. He turned around and
looked through the window. He could see Omi's head bent over the table.
His shoulders shook as a sob racked his small body.
I'm sorry Omi. I'm so sorry. He turned and walked back to his lonely
haunted apartment. His heart begged him to go back and hold him and tell
him that he was still there and that he loved him more than anything! But
his mind and feet wouldn't let him. It was almost as if his heart was trapped
in this hateful body that purposly tourchered his soul and pained his heart.
He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and watched the couples pass by
him.
A vision of Omi hanging onto his arm and pointing out the great stores
that he wanted to see flashed into his mind. He remembered how he didn't
even know exactly what he was saying. All he thought of was the way he
felt next to him and his sweet perfume.
He snapped out of it and walked away, leaving his love to cry.
//He Turns Away
He turns away
I don't know why
I just watch him go
Until I cry
He turns away
Leaving me to watch him go
Why does he turn away?
When he knows I love him so?
I watch him come and go from day to day
I wonder why he treats me this way.
He ignores me one day
He smiles at me another
These mixed signals are driving me wild!
He turns away
I don't know why
I just watch him go
Until I cry
This burning heart
This burning flame
Is eating at my brain.
He's heartless,
He's kind,
He's cold,
He's hot,
Why can't he just be the same?
I need his love but he pushes away
I need his warmth but he keeps it to himself
I'd give my soul to him for his love
He turns away
I don't know why
I just watch him go
Until I cry//
By: Jeaneen M. Worthen
The End.
"I don't love you... love you... love you..." The awful words echoed in
his head as he stared out the window. The image played in his mind. The way
his eyes pierced his own with anger and hate and the way he stiffened up at
his approach.
"I need you, Youji, even if you don't love me." Omi sniffed and wiped
his tears away.
Sitting in a café booth, Omi watched the people come and leave the
small café. He was early today since Mr. Yamamura had a trip to go on with
his wife. Omi stared at his vanilla shake for a while before
taking a small sip. He looked up again and saw his friends Shingo, Kaoru and Taka walk in.
They didn't see him since he purposely sat himself in the back corner of
the arcade. They looked around but once they didn't find what they were
looking for they said hi to Shuichi, the manager of the café, and
left.
Omi sighed gratefully. He really didn't want to talk to them right now.
He didn't want to put on a happy face and pretend that he was okay and
that everything would be fine.
Youji walked in and sat at the counter. He started talking to Shuichi
before ordering a coke.
Omi stared at his back with a sorrowful expression on his face. He
lost him. He didn't know how he did it but he did. He must have
done something awful to make him hate him so much. He tried to come up
with some things he did or said wrong. Several came up but none of
those certainly would make him hate him.
Did he say something that offended him? No.
Did he not love him enough? Omi shook his head. He loved him the best
he could.
Youji turned around and looked strait at him as if he knew exactly where
he was the whole time. Omi started in her seat before looking away,
blushing at being caught staring.
He heard his footsteps approach his booth before he found him sitting
across from her.
Omi stared cautiously at him, wondering what he would say now. Would
he simply tell him to get over him and stop making such a scene by
staring stupidly at him like a lovesick puppy? Flashes of the time before
they really knew each other appeared in his view. He could certainly
imagine him saying that back then. Maybe he still had an edge to him.
A second later he saw a moment in time where Youji wrapped his arm around
his waist as they sat on a bench watching the sunset. He remembered how
his hand found its way to his hair as it toyed with the sunkissed locks.
"Omi."
Omi snapped out of his thoughts and nearly burst out crying when he
came back to his harsh reality. Why couldn't he love him like that
anymore?
"Huh?"
"Are you okay?"
Omi stared at him, incredulous. He was asking if he was okay?!
Did he really care? Was this a dream?
Omi opened his month to say 'I'm fine now that you're here' but that
thought struck him as too clingy and besides he just might be taking his
caring question the wrong way. Should he just say 'yes, I'm fine' or should
he tell him the truth? Omi looked away from him. He couldn't lie to him
if he was looking at him in the eyes.
"I'm fine." His voice came out groggy and unconvincing. He wished his
voice was stronger but with him so close... he just couldn't be himself.
Youji nodded once then twice. Omi took one look at him and he knew that
he didn't believe him, "Well, Shuichi asked me to talk to you for a second
to make sure you're okay. He seemed a little worried."
Omi swallowed hard. So he wasn't doing this because he cared.
Omi felt tears come into his eyes. He tried to will them away but
they wouldn't mind! He hid his eyes from Youji's view, "I'm fine."
He repeated.
And then he was gone.
Youji walked to the arcade door, not even stopping to say goodbye to
Shuichi, he walked out into the afternoon sun. He turned around and
looked through the window. He could see Omi's head bent over the table.
His shoulders shook as a sob racked his small body.
I'm sorry Omi. I'm so sorry. He turned and walked back to his lonely
haunted apartment. His heart begged him to go back and hold him and tell
him that he was still there and that he loved him more than anything! But
his mind and feet wouldn't let him. It was almost as if his heart was trapped
in this hateful body that purposly tourchered his soul and pained his heart.
He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and watched the couples pass by
him.
A vision of Omi hanging onto his arm and pointing out the great stores
that he wanted to see flashed into his mind. He remembered how he didn't
even know exactly what he was saying. All he thought of was the way he
felt next to him and his sweet perfume.
He snapped out of it and walked away, leaving his love to cry.
//He Turns Away
He turns away
I don't know why
I just watch him go
Until I cry
He turns away
Leaving me to watch him go
Why does he turn away?
When he knows I love him so?
I watch him come and go from day to day
I wonder why he treats me this way.
He ignores me one day
He smiles at me another
These mixed signals are driving me wild!
He turns away
I don't know why
I just watch him go
Until I cry
This burning heart
This burning flame
Is eating at my brain.
He's heartless,
He's kind,
He's cold,
He's hot,
Why can't he just be the same?
I need his love but he pushes away
I need his warmth but he keeps it to himself
I'd give my soul to him for his love
He turns away
I don't know why
I just watch him go
Until I cry//
By: Jeaneen M. Worthen
The End.