Might As Well Be Dead
By Angel-Karai
Bobby's in South Dakota, doing his own gig. Missouri's miles behind in Lawrence, doing her psychic thing. Caleb's dead. Pastor Jim is too. Sammy might as well be dead, because he's gone and left Dean all on his own.
He disappeared in the middle of the night in Colorado, leaving Dean only a note and a picture. It was taken back when Sammy was five and Dean was nine. Back when they were pretending to be a happy family. Back when Sammy didn't understand hunting and Dean wanted nothing more than to protect his little brother.
That's still what Dean wants to do: protect Sammy.
But, no matter how much Dean wants it, Sammy doesn't. He wants to go back to college and be normal, now that Dad's gone. Dean doesn't want to be normal. He doesn't want Sammy to be normal either. It doesn't seem right to Dean, a Winchester being normal.
Mind you, Dean thinks as he slides into the Impala and revs the engine; Sammy's got his freaky psychic thing going… He laughs softly as he pulls an AC/DC tape out of the box. That sure as hell ain't normal.
Dean slips the cassette into the player and drives out onto the highway. The beat of 'Highway to Hell' soothes Dean as he passes through Moab, Utah. People give him strange looks as he drives past, music blaring.
Dean's waiting for Sammy to tell him to turn it down, but there's no voice, no breathing from the other side of the Impala. Dean doesn't look at the empty seat. He doesn't pretend that Sammy's there. He doesn't even think about it. He's put it out of his mind. For now.
But he does think about where he's going: California. To get Sam.
Even though Sammy doesn't want to be got.
Dean's ignoring the fact that Sammy's note had clearly said: Dean, I don't want to hunt any more. I'm going back to college. Don't try and stop me.
Dean pretending that the psychic thing has gone to his brain. He keeps telling himself that Sammy just needs some sense beaten into him.
He just can't admit that he needs Sammy by his side. He just can't admit that he needs his little brother.
&&$&&$&&
review is love