Author's Notes: Ugh, because I'm such a procrastinator, and because I'm just... stupid, I decided to come out with a series of drabbles. I know, I know. Un-original. I'm suffering dreaded writer's block on like... every story.

Disclaimer: I have a lot of spontaneous and crazy-crack emotional angsty... smutty fluffy types of ideas, but in no way shape or form do I own Hagaren.

Warnings: This is the first drabble of the collection. I have no idea how many there are going to be, but suffice it to say I have a lot of space on my hard-drive that needs some filling. Bare with me, please. Of course there's going to be some Elricest (mostly, as a matter of fact) and maybe a few other pairings. I'm like... halfway asleep right now, but I had to write this one. I got this idea from an icon I saw on LJ and I have to admit, I loved the concept. In case the phrases I use belong to anyone in particular, please let me know. Sorry in advance for any confusion.

Please READ THIS: I only want to say this once, so that I can't be blamed for misunderstandings. Some of these are LONGER than drabble size, so I'm officially calling this a collection of Drabbles AND One-Shots. Hopefully not all of them are One-Shot length. Anyway...

xx The Three 'R's. xx

When Edward Elric made the choice of a lifetime to trade himself in for his brother's ten-year old body, there were three main reasons why he did it. He referred to them as the "Three R's." Up until that moment, those reasons were what kept him going. They were the sole motivation behind his determination and drive; the reason why he never gave up.

Restore Alphonse, Redeem Myself, Return to Grace.

It was like his parody of the golden rule. Something that only he could concentrate on. Something that couldn't be manipulated by any force he encountered. Ed would admit on occasion that he had doubts of his motive. There was guilt that pushed and coaxed him along, and living with a brother who, in essence, wasn't really there was all that much more of a persuasion.

The first 'R' was to restore his little brother. There was nothing to figure out there; living without someone to comfort physically, someone to hold when they cried or were frightened... he missed that. And beyond that, there were other reasons. Al was basically the only family he had, and did not plan on taking family photos with a giant suit of armor. It was ridiculous, he knew, to people when he told them that Alphonse was the younger brother.

But he's so much bigger than you are!

Outrage came instantly then, and couldn't be contained by anything but those large metal arms. For Al's sake as well, he knew he had to bring him back into a flesh body. Only fractionally could he comprehend how horrible loss of feeling would be; he could no longer feel in his right arm or left leg. But at least he could sleep, eat, breath... live like a normal person! Only his darkest dreams and imagination could provide some sort of example for how empty his brother really must've felt. Those were the reasons he wanted to bring Al back.

The second 'R' was redemption. Guilt overrode everything he had ever done. With every movement of his flesh fingers and every flick of his gaze to the left, he felt the burning sensation of a sinner without hope. He had resolved that making things right again would be the only way to free his conscience. Because he had done what only few in the past had done; he had played God, and in turn God had damned him for it. He resented being like his father and his whore, and being like his teacher... Edward couldn't sleep sometimes with the contemptuous feeling for himself that he felt. He hated his very being for turning out just as his father had.

It had all been a mistake.

The third and final 'R' was his peace. His "Returning to Grace." With the other two "Rs", everything else would fall into place. His mind would be free again, and he would be able to die without regrets. He would know in his heart that Alphonse could start a life again without a brother who was damned from birth, and be able to live on as a healthy child. With Ed there, he would only cloud Al's mind with the wrong things.

They were the reasons for the determined mind-set he had acquired over the past half-decade. They were the reasons of why no matter how many times the military, the homunculus, and his own guilt pushed him down, he never stayed down. He always found a way back onto his feet, with his little brother beside him.

And when he pressed his palms flat on his chest, when the blue, hazy light filtered up around him and his world was a past memory already, when he said good bye to familiar things to finalize the deal, he knew he had done what was right.

However, what he had not expected was to be living even after that. To have a beating heart pounding in the cavities of his chest even so it had seemed like equivalency. To have woken up in a scared, withdrawn, war-shocked city by the name of Munich.

Thus were the things that had seemed to slip past him, and thus were the outcome of his trust in the Three R's.

xx owari xx

Closing Note: Okay, so that's drabble number one. I really hope it was satisfactory. They should be getting better, but I'm currently in the process of moving so it may be a little difficult at first. :is having to make constant trips to the library to keep up with emailing:


Anyway, you guys know the drill. Oh, how I love comments! (And Stephen King Novels! -and movies with Rob Lowe in them- )Thanks!