Bedtime Stories

by TJ Hector

-Summary:

Big brother Leo tried to tell his younger brothers a bedtime story when their father was away on a scavenging hunt. The story turned out to be something weird and disturbing and scientific and mere nonsense due to the collaboration of his 'creative' brothers.

-Disclaimer: I own nothing concerning mutant turtles.

"Once upon a time, four little turtles live in the sewers," Leonardo said in a calm, expressive tone, imitating the way their father told stories.

"You should use the past tense to tell the story. Once upon a time, four young, mutated terrapins lived in the sewers of New York City. By the way, for all we know, the mutation was induced by a canister of mutagen. The origin and the chemical structure of the ooze contained inside the canister is still unknown—"

"Shut up, Donnie. You're making the story boring," Raphael interrupted his brother with an irritable groan.

The four turtle tots huddled on one bed. They were alone in the lair. Splinter had gone to the surface for a scavenging hunt.

"What's a terrapin?" Michelangelo asked drowsily.

"It's a—" Donatello opened his mouth to explain, only to received a rough nudge on his arm. He turned toward Raph and shot him an indignant glare.

"What? I don't care about if it's four terrapins or turtles or talkin' gorillas!" Raph shouted.

"Talking gorillas? Sounds cool!" Mikey beamed, "Hey, imagine we're gorillas! Ninja Gorillas!"

"—Guys! It's my story. Can I finish it?" Leonardo raised his voice.

"Yeah, go on tell us your story about those stupid turtles," Raph yawned and lay down, pulling the blanket over his head.

"Hey, it's us! Don't you get it, Raph? It's a story about us. We're not stupid," Mikey grabbed an edge of Raph's red blanket and yanked it back. Raph growled and snatched it from Mikey's hands. "I know it's us, you idiot. Give it back."

"Then why did you say we're stupid?" Mikey protested. "You really think so?"

"Oh give it a rest!" Raph yelled, crawling back under the covers.

"Guys, guys, be quiet, I'm gonna continue the story," Leo cleared his throat.

"Go on, Leo," Donnie said, looking at his oldest brother expectantly. "I want to know what happened!"

"Okay," Leo said, smiling, "The four turtles are brothers."

"Is there anything else we don't already know?" Raph's sarcastic voice came out muffled under the blanket.

Leo ignored him. "The first turtle is a very honorable gentleman, a respectable ninja. He wields two katana just like Miyamoto Musashi."

"—Except he's not very good at wielding them. He sliced his arm the other day and whined like a baby. The end." Raph laughed viciously under his blanket.

Leo's face grew red. "And there's the third turtle, a very smart turtle. He fixes things they find at the junkyard and the turtles are able to live happily and comfortably."

"Did he win a Nobel Prize, Leo?" Donnie asked, "Tell me he did!"

"Well, he didn't. But everybody knows it's only a matter of time before he wins it."

"The prize is for humans. He'll never have a chance," Raph remarked, oblivious of Donnie's hurt expression since he buried his head under the covers.

"—The fourth turtle is an artist. He is good at drawing, singing, dancing and other stuff. He also cooks for the turtle family."

"What about the second turtle?" Raph frowned, head sticking out of the covers.

"Oh, I thought you weren't interested?" Leo said wryly. "The second turtle is an angry turtle. Whenever the second turtle's angry, he will explode like a volcano. His head will pop and lava will come out."

"His head will pop! Ha ha!" Mikey laughed. "That's so funny!"

"So, will there be actual lava?" Donnie asked carefully.

"No. It looks like lava, but it's actually some sort of…food. And then the fourth brother can make something out of the lava-thing. So the turtles don't have to worry about food. Thanks to their angry brother," Leo grinned.

"It's food? Interesting," Donnie gaped.

"Does that taste good?" Mikey asked, "What does it taste like? Is it like algae and worms?"

"It's not like anything you ever tasted," Leo said. "It's sweet and salty at the same time."

"I wonder that tastes good," Donnie muttered.

"Gosh, it's so stupid!" Raph retorted. "How can he be alive if his head pops all the time?"

"It's a story, Raph," Leo said.

"I'm too old for stories," Raph pouted, "Anyway." He pulled the covers over his head again.

"Don't mind him Leo," Donnie urged, "Tell us the story!"

"One day, uh, the second turtle says, I ran out of lava, sorry guys, now we have nothing to eat."

"Now what kind of story is that?" Raph sat up, "It's really stupid, Leo!"

"Alright, Raph," Leo said impatiently, "If you're so smart, why don't you finish the story?"

"Aww! Don't let Raph tell the story, Leo!" Donnie cried, "He'll ruin it!"

"I don't like Raphie's stories," Mikey mumbled.

"Okay, I'll continue it," Raph shoved Leo aside. "The second turtle…let's call him…uh…"

"I'll name him!" Mikey yelled happily. "His name is…Paphael! His head pops!"

"Oh god, that's idiotic," Raph frowned. "But anyway…Paphael," he grimaced at the name, "He's too hungry, so he kills his youngest brother, slices him into pieces—"

"Oh NO!" Mikey shrieked.

"—And turns him into turtle-sausages. He gives these sausages to his brothers and tells them, look guys, I've solved the food problem. It might taste a bit disgustin', though, 'cause it's made of a disgustin' turtle."

"HE MAKES THEM EAT THEIR BROTHER!?" Mikey screamed.

Raph grinned triumphantly at the impact, "And when his brothers become suspicious, Paphael kills them too. Now he doesn't have to worry about food anymore. The end."

"Can I tell it differently, Leo?" Donnie turned immediately to Leo, who was leaning against the pillow and making faces. "I'll start where you left it."

"Suite yourself Donnie," Raph crossed his arms, still grinning, "It's not gonna change the fact that mine's an amazin' story."

"I'm not talking to you," Donnie frowned.

"You can tell your version of story, Donnie," Leo said.

Donnie looked content; he sat straight, and cleared his throat. "The third turtle's name is Dr. Nate Dollo—"

"Hey! I should name him!" Mikey interrupted.

"You can name him if you're telling the story, but I'm the storyteller, so I name him." Donnie said.

"No fair, Raph let me name his turtle," Mikey pouted.

"You can tell the story next, Mikey, and you can name all the turtles yourself," Leo tried to console the youngest turtle.

"I can? I wanna tell the story, too!" Mikey's pout turned into a radiant smile.

"Course you can," Leo said.

"Okay," Donnie said, "So Dr. Nate Dollo invented a device that could generate the same kind of lava. There were some lava left in the fridge, and Dr. Nate Dollo analyzed the lava's chemical compound and was able to duplicate the substance by supplying only food waste found in the sewers. After days of experiments, the device was completed, thus solving the food crisis. The end." He gave his brothers a smug smile.

"I don't get it," Mikey looked confused.

"He. Turned. Waste. Into. Food." Donnie said slowly and loudly.

"EW," Raph snorted. "How's that better than my story? At least I give you fresh meat."

"AW, GROSS, RAPH!" Mikey moaned, "I'm tryin' to forget about it!"

"I prefer Donnie's story," Leo said from aside. "It's your turn, Mikey."

"OH YEAH!" The sullen cloud disappeared from Mikey's face, "My turn!"

"I'm goin' to sleep," Raph muttered.

"You gotta listen to my story, too, Raphie!" Mikey jerked Raph's arm, pulling him from his pillow.

"Put me out of my misery please, Leo," Raph grumbled, "You started this." However, he sighed and sat up nonetheless.

"Once upon a time—"

"You don't have to start from the very beginning," Donnie said, "Start with the lava-pumping dude."

"Oh, okay," Mikey said, thinking hard, "Uh, so now they don't have food?"

"Yeah."

"Uh, so…um, they…they…go to the topside and buy something?"

"Where did the money come from?" Donnie asked.

"They have some coins they found in the sewers," Mikey said unsurely, "'S that enough?"

"They'll be spotted by humans," Raph said doubtfully. "And those coins ain't enough to buy anythin'."

"Uh, then…I don't know," Mikey lowered his head, looking confused and a bit sad.

"It's okay, Mikey," Leo said gently. "I think it's about time to sleep."

"Wait! Wait! I know!" Mikey grinned widely, "Suddenly, they find out that their baby brother…he used to be a galaxy bounty hunter! He has a lotta lotta money! That's it! The end!"

"What about your story Leo?" Donnie asked, "How would you end it?"

"Actually, I don't know," Leo smiled, "I haven't thought about it. I made the volcano stuff up only because Raph's being a—"

"Nice turtle," Raph nudged him, "Thank you, Lame-o-nardo!"

"Really?" Mikey said, disappointed. "But I wanna hear the rest of it."

"Still, I can finish the story," Leo shrugged, "If you want."

"I wanna hear it too." Donnie said, holding back a yawn.

"Okay, okay big babies," Raph jumped off the bed and ran towards the door; he switched off the light.

"Hey!" Mikey and Donnie yelled together.

"'S okay," Leo said, "I can tell it in the dark."

"Please don't turn it into a scary story, Leo," Mikey pleaded.

"I won't, Mikey." Leo replied, feeling Raph chuckled with squeezing in between him and Mikey.

"So," he continued, "When the second turtle tells his brothers he ran out of lava, his brothers are worried. But actually they don't have to, because…because…"

"There is a nice rat living nearby their lair?" A voice said from the doorway.

All turtles sat up. "DAD!" Mikey gave a shout of joy. "You're back!"

Splinted chuckled and turned on the light.

"I am not expecting you to be up so late, my sons," he said.

"We couldn't sleep," Leo answered, "So I tried to tell them a bedtime story, like you'd do, Father."

"It's very nice of you, Leonardo," Splinter said.

"And then Raph told us a…horrible story and Donnie told us a story no one understands," Mikey said.

"Did you tell a story, too, Michelangelo?" Splinter asked.

"Yeah, I tried, too, but…it's hard," Mikey said.

"It's all right," Splinter said gently. "But now it is really time to sleep, my sons. You have training tomorrow." He hugged each of them before tucked them in with their individual blankets.

"Good night, my sons," he said softly.

"Good night, Father," said Leonardo, smiling slightly and contentedly.

"'Night Daddy," Michelangelo mumbled sleepily, lids drooping.

"Good night, Dad," Donatello said, yawning and rubbing his eyes.

"G'night, Dad," Raphael muttered, and then displayed a slanting smile.

Splinter stood there for a moment, watching them. Every time he had to leave the lair, he felt uneasy and worried, but now he felt a sense of reassurance as he looked at his sons. He knew he could trust them. They were certainly growing into fine young men—turtles, actually.

He smiled and turned off the light.

—The End

-A/N: Okay, I don't know how was it and whether I should write more about turtle tots. Anyway, I just gave it a try! But if you think it's good please let me know and maybe I'll write more turtle tots stuff. Thanks for reading it!

And if you wanna know, the turtles are maybe 8 or 9 years old in this, maybe a little old for bedtime stories. But who wouldn't love some stories before bedtime?

BTW: Mikey forgot to name his own character :p.