Title: No White Flag
Author: StarrX
Email: Starburst553x@aol.com
Rating: R
Pairing: HP/DM, sort-of HP/RW
Warnings: Mpreg, physical/verbal abuse
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and related characters are property of J.K. Rowling. I own nothing.
Summary: Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter are in love, but the world around them doesn't seem to care. In the midst of the rising danger, something incredible happens. Harry finds himself pregnant. He knows he must protect the one he loves, and now his child is in danger as well. In an act of desperation, he makes a deal with his best friend. Can Ron help him protect Draco and their child or will everything become so much worse?
A/N: The Malfoy's are on the side of light, save Narcissa, who was arrested when Lucius turned to the "good side". Following the Malfoy's switch, Harry and Draco began a friendship, and eventually fell in love. This picks up about three years after their graduation from Hogwarts.
I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
I'll tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were
Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "It's over"
Then I'm sure that that makes sense
Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
And when we meet
As I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on
Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
---"White Flag" by Dido
Chapter One: The Rules of 'It's Over'
It was a dark and dreary day, perfectly matched with Harry's mood. He had a feeling that if the sun had been shining, he would have been tempted to hex it. The darker, the better. It mirrored how he was feeling inside.
So far, the day had been a day from hell. Literally. Being awoken at just after six in the morning to the screeching of one very ticked off ghost was not his idea of an effective alarm clock. And of course, sleep was out of the question after that. Wearily, he'd managed to drag himself through a quick shower, all the while half hoping he'd drown.
Breakfast had been one of the more uncomfortable moments in his life. While the others had chatted blithely, Harry himself had been near silent, hardly picking at the food Mrs. Weasley had piled on his plate. Beside him, Ron had cheerfully kissed him good morning before digging into his own breakfast, seemingly oblivious to Harry's mood.
The only person who had noticed Harry's unusual silence had been Ginny, who was still glaring anytime Harry entered a room. Who would have thought she and Draco Malfoy would be such good friends? She seemed to pointedly ignore the fact that she'd never have grown close to Draco if Harry hadn't begun seeing him. Not that it mattered. Harry almost welcomed her angry glare. He knew better then any just how he'd hurt Draco.
Since his arrival at the Weasley household, Harry had been resolutely avoiding Ginny any chance he got. Anytime he was near her, she only reminded him of what he'd done. While he still firmly believed it was the right thing to do, he could still see Draco's hurt gaze as Harry had blatantly lied to him, breaking his heart and Harry's own.
The decision had been one of the hardest Harry had ever made, but in the end, it had been clear. He loved Draco without a doubt. And there was no question Draco loved him. But as long as he was with Draco, living in Malfoy Manor, both Draco and Lucius were at risk. And he refused to lose either. So he'd come up with the perfect plan…He'd leave Draco to keep him safe.
Of course, Draco would never have let him go. And that's where Ron came in. they'd spun such lies; betrayals and affairs, love and lust. And the baby. Whenever Harry's mind strayed to that, a warm smile would spread across his face. His baby. Draco's baby. It only reaffirmed his decision to keep Draco safe. Harry may not survive the war, but he'd be damned if he let both of the child's parents die.
So he'd approached Ron. Asked for his help. Ron had agreed almost instantly, making Harry's work far easier. It had been he who had invented the lies Harry fed to Draco. Lies about their supposed love affair, carried over from their Hogwarts years. Their child, an affirmation of their love. And Draco had bought it, hook, line, and sinker. It had worked perfectly. Harry had been out of the Manor before nightfall and safely tucked away at the Weasley's till he and Ron moved on to Hogwarts for term so Ron could take up as Quidditch Coach. If he wasn't so heartbroken, Harry might have been pleased.
At any rate, Draco and Lucius were safe, so Harry's feelings had no particular impact. Thankfully, the Weasley residents had more then enough spare emotions to cover up any remaining upset Harry may have been unable to conceal. Except Ginny seemed to see right past his best defenses. She must have taken lessons from Draco.
It had been she that had eyed him oddly when he'd had to fight to keep back tears following the arrival of a package from Malfoy Manor. It had contained various odds and ends that he'd managed to collect during his stay, anything that had been forgotten in his haste to pack. The note, obviously quickly penned, simply stated, 'Thought you'd want to take everything with you. No ties. D. Malfoy'. Draco had even signed it formally. Not that Harry had expected anything less. It was the way it had to be.
Still, the package had nearly undone him. For a moment, he'd wanted nothing more then to run back to Draco and sob the entire story out to him. The look of pain that had flashed across his features had caught Ginny's attention, making her examine him closely. He'd purposefully forced a calm expression on his face and she'd eventually turned away. After a moment, he'd excused himself from the living room and gone up to the bathroom to have a good cry. His hormones, running wild all week, had been sure to make an appearance, making him sob even harder.
When he'd finally exited, he'd found Ginny waiting for him in the hallway, expression grim. In her hand had been a second box, far smaller then the first. Reluctantly, Harry had opened it. Inside, it had been lined with black velvet. A single silver band had lay amongst the fabric.
"It was his birthday present to you," Ginny had informed him, voice oddly neutral. "Since it's been engraved, he couldn't return it. It's yours to do with it what you wish."
The box had fallen through Harry's numb fingers, dropping to the floor with a muted thud. He still held the ring, however, almost painfully clenched in his hand. Ginny's eyes had widened in surprise at the reaction, but she hadn't commented.
Harry's chest had heaved with the effort to keep his painful sobs in. Ginny, sensing the emotions, had politely excused herself, leaving Harry alone. And in that moment, Harry had hated himself. All he wanted then was to crawl back to his dearest love and beg forgiveness. But…he couldn't. He just couldn't.
And now, days later, Harry sat preparing to leave the Weasley household, the final part of his plan ready to go into affect. In just hours, he would be at Hogwarts. His last chance to back out was steadily slipping through his fingers, and yet he was resolute in his decision. After breakfast, he went upstairs where he silently finished packing, swearing all thought of Draco from his mind.
"All done, sweetie?" Ron asked softly, leaning casually in the doorway of their shared bedroom.
Harry spared the boy a small smile, the most he could muster at the moment. "Nearly. I've just a few last minute things to pack. How about you?"
Ron laughed, "Mum's had me packed up nearly since I announced I'd gotten the job. I'm all set. I was thinking we'd leave soon. That alright?"
"Of course," Harry nodded.
"Good. Then I'll carry this stuff down." Ron bent to lift Harry's bags, turning to leave. "Oh, by the way, Gin wanted to talk to you before we left. I think she's upstairs," he said over his shoulder, already headed downstairs.
Harry's heart gave an odd beat. Ginny wanted to talk to him? Voluntarily, nonetheless. He couldn't imagine what it could be about. Despite any concern she may have for him, Ginny was still furious. And rightly so.
He sighed aloud, sitting heavily on the bed. Perhaps he would go see Ginny after all. If only to reaffirm exactly why he was tearing his own life apart. He had a feeling he'd desperately need the reaffirmation if he was to get through the day ahead. With another heavy sigh, Harry shoved himself back to his feet, heading for the upstairs.
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