Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
AN/Warnings: Mild language.
Genre(s): Romance, angst, drama.
Setting: one year after the war with Andross
Additional AN: Takes place between chapters 3 and 4 of NMI. Hotdogs. We'll just say it's soy, or something.....
Loveless
". . . girls are so queer you never know what they mean. They say 'no' when they mean 'yes,' and drive a man out of his wits for the fun of it. . ."
-Louisa May Alcott (1832-88) US novelist. Little Women, Pt. II
Saturday morning, Katt and Falco's trailer, Corneria City
Katt winced at the grinding of gears as she fiddled with the stick shift, finally popping it into the right gear before making a hasty retreat from the driveway. Trailers and trees and miscellaneous background objects passed by her window, but she wasn't paying attention, she didn't even know where she was going.
She just knew she wanted out of there, away from Falco, away from Fox, away from everything.
She felt like a fool, finally realizing that she'd been stringing herself along for so many years, seeing something there that really wasn't, believing a dream that turned out to be a lie.
And now that dream was at an end, she'd seen it shattered before her very eyes. She couldn't blame Fox, he was such an innocent in all this, and she definitely couldn't blame Falco, because nothing was ever, ever his fault.....
She had only herself to blame.
Katt sighed, switching gears when that God-awful grinding noise reached her ears again. She'd rolled the window down, losing herself in the sweet warm breeze of the early morning, the scent of the ocean; she'd always liked the ocean. She stopped at a red light, turning the radio on and twisting the nob, surfing the channels. There was a dull ache behind her eyes; obviously she'd had more to drink last night than she'd remembered, and she was now suffering the effects. Feeling sentimental, she left the radio on a song named "Loveless," a beautifully sad little tune by some unknown group trying to make it big.
She laid one elbow on the open window, resting her head against on paw, the other tapping impatiently on the steering wheel. Katt sighed, singing along with the raunchy yet exquisitely lovely female lead, a chorus of soft tenors of both sexes blending together in the background. She'd never paid the song much attention before, and was on the verge of hating it, but feeling as emotional as she was at the moment, she felt herself unable to escape its enchanting melody.
Lost in the music, is wasn't long before she found herself at Celes Square, a quaint little garden in the center of Cornerian City. It was named after some famous army general that she simply couldn't remember anything about.
Finding a suitable parking spot, Katt put her beat up vehicle to rest, noting that it would need a new paint job, the original scarlet red looking somewhere between rust and ash. She slammed the door, causing a terrific rattle, briefly feeling lucky the muffler hadn't fallen off.
She crossed the street, the cool morning air starting to heat up as the sun woke up and began its rein of burning UV. Katt found herself suddenly wishing that she'd chosen a more appropriate outfit, but then again, she'd exactly been herself earlier.
The trees provided a comfortable enough shade, but damn, it was hot! She'd been walking along, staring at the ground, lost in her thoughts, in the swirling emotional pain when she suddenly bumped against something soft and stumbled back, a warm paw reaching out to grab her arm, keeping her from falling.
She refused to look up, sputtering apologies, an embarrassed blush spreading across her cheeks. When the paw held steadfast onto her arm, she finally did, eyes widening with recognition.
"Hey," Miyu said with a wink, a charming grin lighting his face. He steadied Katt, finally letting go, chastising himself for holding on so long. But it had been too hard to let go and she had felt so soft....
Miyu stifled a blush, coughing. Katt looked up at him shyly, feeling sudden relief that she wasn't alone. She was being a coward again, she knew it, eager to find any kind of distraction. She could deal with her feelings for Falco later....
"Want some breakfast? I'm buying," Miyu decided, nodding his head towards a nearby hotdog vendor. Katt felt a smile stretch itself across her face, despite herself. With a laugh, she accepted his offer, wrinkling her nose when he ordered his with relish and hot sauce.
They found refuge under a cluster of maple trees, where the wind was crisp enough to keep Katt almost semi-cool. Miyu had insisted on buying her a can of cold soda to go with her hotdog (plain, none of those gross, greasy, rich-in-fat condiments), which seemed to help some.
Miyu leaned back, stretching out his long legs, finishing off his breakfast in two bites. Katt sat beside him, nipping more daintily at hers, ladylike, the heat of her body close enough to send pleasant shivers down his spine. Miyu swallowed, wondering why it was so hard to breath. He tugged slightly at the gold hoop pierced through his left ear.
"So, what's the matter, Kitten? You seem down," Miyu finally asked, voice hoarse as he looked over at Katt with concern. She stared down at her feet a moment longer, chewing on her bottom lip, tiny feline teeth pearly white in the harsh sun. She blinked, glancing back up at Miyu almost shyly, an honest-to-goodness fake grin on her face as she crumpled up her greasy napkin.
"It's nothing, really. I guess I just needed to get out..."
"Bullshit," Miyu breathed with a sigh. "Katt, not this again. Last night we got crocked together, I know for a fact you've got a splitting headache, and you look like you've just had your heart ripped out. I'm not stupid, Kitten. So tell me what's wrong."
Katt blinked again, eyelashes fluttering as she struggled to hold back her tears. "I-I really can't say...." she finally breathed, arms wrapping around herself, despite the heat.
"Still Falco, huh?" Miyu inquired softly, Katt nodding miserably. Miyu winced, regretting his inquiry instantly, berating himself. Of course it's still Falco, you dumb ass! You think she'd actually get over him in a matter of hours? What the hell kind of--
Katt sniffed, abruptly tearing Miyu from his private moment of self flagellation. Hey, I know how if feels, Kitten.... Instinctively, he enveloped her in a hug, burying his face in sweaty white locks. Her body racked slightly against him; she was holding back sobs.
"I don't know why I can't get past him," she whispered in a high pitched gasp. "This....isn't like me...."
She paused, sniffing, pulling away from Miyu to wipe her eyes with her sweatshirt sleeve. Katt laughed bitterly, continuing. "It's stupid, isn't it? I feel like some dumb, weak little girl....."
"You can't help who you love," Miyu whispered suddenly, thoughtfully, almost as if he didn't realize he'd said it out loud, and Katt was unaware of its implications. She smiled slightly, nodded, leaning back against him. Katt rested her head against his shoulder, Miyu forever grateful that she could not see his face, cheeks burning. It never ceased to amaze him, the way he suddenly became a shy and tame kitten around her. No other woman had ever had such an effect on him.
"It really is stupid," Katt suddenly piped up, sounding calmer, stronger, voice less uneven. She never really had him; why should she be mourning his loss now?
Miyu chose to remain silent, his own throat locking up. Her plight was so alike his, yet he would not allow himself to say anything. Maybe there's still a chance, for her and Falco. As long as she's happy....
"It's not stupid, Kitten," he finally managed, rubbing Katt's shoulder, hoping his words were somehow reassuring. Actions had always come easier to him. He'd never been very eloquent, and his words completely died in Katt's presence. After all, what did one say to a goddess?
She sniffed again, trying to smile, a bitter laugh escaping her lips, out of place yet necessary. If she ever was going to get over Falco, she'd have to start believing it, sometime. If he had never been after her romantically, then nothing would change, right? He'd still be the same old Falco; brash, standoffish, reserved, sweet. But.....
But she would change. It was different now, terribly. She had suddenly become so shy of him, feeling embarrassed, rejected. But she had brought it upon herself....
Katt's lower lip trembled, as she once again fought to remain in control of her emotions. No way in hell would she let go in front of Miyu; she'd never cried in anybody's presence besides Falco, and she sure as hell wasn't going to start now.
Miyu had been tugging at his earring, watching the changes in Katt's expression, gauging the emotions. He could tell her now, it would be the perfect time, for him at least. She was in pain, and he loved her, and it was all he could do to protect her from the emotional onslaught. He bit his lip, thinking, knowing it wouldn't be any good for Katt, she'd need time, of course, that was understandable......
He'd already waited so long; could he wait any longer?
Katt nestled against him once more, a soft sigh escaping her lips, seemingly calm once more. Miyu swallowed again, his stomach dancing in knots and leaps. Sure, he could wait, just a little longer...just a little....
Katt smiled as Miyu wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders, feeling comforted although over-heated. It was nice, and she pressed her face into his chest, breathing in his musky smell, so unlike Falco's rich, spicy smell. A soft breeze rushed over them, and she was almost content.
For now, it would be okay. Of course it would.
Katt exhaled sharply, knowing that she'd better get going, that Falco would wonder, and that Fox would be upset. Reluctantly, she pulled away from Miyu, blue gaze pinned to him, soft grey eyes and shaggy brown bangs, stripes and his out of place earring. He was dashing, she could admit to that, and charming (when he wanted to be), and he always seemed to say the right things when needed to hear them the most.....
There was a stir of electricity in her chest, and Katt knew it was time to go. She stood up, slightly shaken, brushing a lock of hair behind one fuzzy pink ear. Miyu's expression remained unchanged, but his eyes darkened, sadness clouding them.
"You're going," he whispered, not questioning it.
"Yeah...." she trailed off, suddenly shy. Katt bit her bottom lip, flashing an apologetic grin. "I oughta. It's getting late...."
Miyu quirked an eyebrow, glancing down at his watch, realizing that it was nearly eleven thirty. My, my, time sure flies when you're plotting to seduce a friend's girl. Miyu shook the dark thought off, returning Katt's smile.
"Guess I'll see you then, Kitten."
She smiled back, stomach flooding with warmth at the sight of his dazzling grin, grey eyes returned back to their normal mesmerizing luminescence. She'd never before noticed how he....
Katt coughed into her paw, looking away, blushing. She mumbled a quick good-bye, hurrying back to her car while trying not to look obvious. She didn't want to even start thinking about Miyu in that way, she knew of his reputation, knew that he didn't like to commit or settle down or tie himself to one girl. She'd only end up hurt, and besides....
Katt huffed, fishing her keys out of her jeans pocket. No, she simply ouldn't think of Miyu like that. He was a friend, a shoulder to cry on, a drinking buddy.....
She thought of his grin as she settled into her seat, and smiled.
Something about that seemed okay.
Miyu blew out a shuddery sigh, berating himself for once again not telling her. He was such a fool.
"This seat taken?" the uninvited inquiry tore him from his self flagellation. He looked up, staring in the bright blue eyes of Fay, perpetually pink bow gracing her snowy fur. Miyu felt his lips curl upward, despite the condition of his heart. He motioned for her to sit down, throwing an arm over her shoulders.
They sat in silence, watching the passers-by, neither one aware of the pain the other harbored.
