A/N: This fluffy piece was inspired by a photoset on Tumblr of the scene where Bates shoves Thomas against the wall. I thought, what if Anna had seen that? And here is what I came up with!... Just some fluffy goodness! :) Hope you enjoy, and please review. Reviews make my day! xx
Disclaimer: Oh how I wish I owned Downton, and Banna...but alas...
Anna sat quietly out in the courtyard reflecting on what she had seen earlier. After she had returned from taking her tray downstairs, the tray Mr. Bates had so lovingly prepared for her, she noticed the door had been left open between the men and women's side of the servant's quarters. She knew Mrs. Hughes would fly off the handle if she knew so she quickly went to close and lock the door. Just as she approached the open door she had seen him. Mr. Bates. He was standing in the hallway in his shirtsleeves, and she felt her knees go weak as all the air left her body. He was such a big man...so strong, and powerful. His appearance was a stark contrast to his demeanor...at least with her. He was always so gentle, and soft-spoken.
She should use this opportunity to thank him for the tray. He had made her feel worlds better with the sweet gesture, and she wanted to thank him properly. Just as she was about to get his attention Thomas walked by. She couldn't hear the words exchanged, but she clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle a gasp as she saw Mr. Bates shove him against the wall; his muscles contracting, and his jaw clenching...his expression full of anger and utter disgust. She strained to hear their words, but all she could make out were angry whispers. She watched Mr. Bates let him go and storm off. She shut the door then quietly...how was she supposed to go to sleep now? She had never seen Mr. Bates in such a state before. What had Thomas said to him?
These were the thoughts she was sifting through as she sat outside. She jumped when she heard the backdoor open. She turned to see Mr. Bates step outside, still in his shirtsleeves. The sight made her breath hitch. He looked at her slightly surprised.
"Anna? What are you doing out at this hour? You should be long asleep."
She wondered if she should tell him what she had seen. She knew he would tell her what happened...they told each other everything. Well almost everything. She took a deep breath.
"I saw you...earlier...with Thomas." He looked confused for a moment so she continued. "The separating door was open so I went to close it, but before I did I saw your exchange with Thomas. What did he say?"
John sighed, and sat down next to her. "He was just being his usual nasty self...and well...I was tired of dealing with it." He hesitated before continuing. "I'm sorry you had to see that, Anna. I won't say Thomas didn't have it coming, but I should have controlled my temper."
She could hear the shame in his voice, and knew she needed to reassure him that she wasn't judging him...actually she rather enjoyed seeing Mr. Bates in such a state. The unfamiliar feelings that began to grow inside her made her blush. She reached into his lap and took his hand in hers, resting their joined hands on her lap. He looked at her in shock before she continued.
"You have no need to apologize to me. I'm proud of you for putting Thomas in his place. I hope it works." She smiled, and she felt the fluttering increase when he gave her a bright smile in return.
He squeezed her hand. "Unfortunately I don't think it will...but it was very satisfying all the same." He shifted a little on the crate so his body was angled towards her. She marveled at the fact that he let her keep his warm, large hand secure in hers. She met his eyes, and saw a tenderness there that went straight to her heart.
She had known for a while that she was in love with him, but it wasn't until tonight that she was sure the feelings were mutual.
Before she got completely lost in his beautiful eyes she remembered what she had wanted to tell him earlier.
"Mr. Bates..." She started, but he interrupted her before she could continue.
"Anna, it's just us down here. Please, call me John." He gave her that special smile that caused his eyes to crinkle in the most alluring way. She longed to run her thumb across them, but stopped herself. She lowered her head as a blush crept up her cheeks.
"Very well...John." She met his eyes, and saw that, if it was possible, his smile had grown…his eyes had also darkened slightly, and she lowered her head again fidgeting with his warm hand. There was a slow burn building inside of her, one she had never felt before. It was a foreign feeling, but she recognized it immediately. Desire.
She pushed those feelings aside. No sense dwelling on things she couldn't act on. She took a deep breath, and met his gaze again.
"John, I wanted to thank you for bringing me that lovely tray. You made me feel much better...and so special."
There were a few heartbeats of silence before he spoke; his voice a soft whisper carried on the night breeze, and straight through to her heart.
"You are special, Anna...very special indeed."
Their eyes locked, and Anna had to keep herself from confessing her undying love for him right there. The sparks that were passing between them were igniting fires in both of them, and before Anna could even fully process what was happening they were leaning towards each other. She closed her eyes waiting for the long-awaited feeling of his lips on her own, but she opened them when she felt those warm, soft lips land on her cheek instead. Her slight disappointment was immediately alleviated as he lingered there. She was frozen, afraid that if she moved she would break the delicious spell they were under. He kissed her cheek in a few different places, and then she felt him at the very corner of her mouth before he pulled away.
Their eyes stayed fixed on each other in shear bliss at what had just happened, before reality sunk back in. She watched him flush a brilliant shade of red before he lowered his head; his eyes fixed on their still joined hands. The tension crackled between them, and she spoke before the beautiful moment they had shared was broken by regret.
"Please don't be embarrassed. You have made me feel very special indeed." She said repeating his words softly, as she ran her thumb along the back of his hand.
He took a deep breath, and she watched the play of emotions on his face. Fear, happiness, regret, joy...he settled on a soft smile, and a hint of love in his eyes as he spoke.
"You should be getting back upstairs. It will do you no good to be out in this chill." He smiled, "and I don't know how much longer I can tolerate Ms. O'Brien and Thomas without you by my side." They laughed together, and Anna felt her stomach flutter when he spoke of having her with him. That was all she wanted; to be by his side...forever.
She reluctantly released his hand, and stood. "Well I'd prefer not to walk up alone, and I don't want you out in this chill either. Join me?" She stood waiting for his reply. He hesitated a moment, before standing beside her.
"It would be my pleasure."
Later that night, in the quiet of his room, John Bates laid there in his cold bed with his fingers resting on his lips. His tussle with that vial worm long forgotten as he lingered on the memories of his time in the courtyard with Anna. The memory of her soft skin beneath his lips set his heart aflame.
He couldn't find it in him to regret the chaste kiss...the facts were what they were. He loved her. He was head over heels, blindly, unconditionally in love with her. He had never felt in his entire life the way he felt about Anna. It had taken every ounce of strength he possessed not to kiss her fully. He longed to taste her lips with every fiber of his being.
No he did not regret the kiss…what he did regret, however, was the look of hope in her eyes. A hope that would be lost once she knew the truth.
John felt the tears slide down his face. While he could never regret loving her, he did regret his inability to give her the life she deserved...the life he longed to share with her.
With his tears came a fierce determination. He could not encourage her further...truth be told he had taken things too far tonight, but he would certainly fight for her behind the curtain.
He loved Anna Smith, and by some miracle she loved him. Suddenly his bed was very warm, as he imagined the life they could share together. He imagined them together in their own little cottage. Him coming home from the Abbey to find her reading on the sofa, her large belly the center of attention as he kissed her in greeting, and worked to make her comfortable.
His smile overtook him as his imagination ran wild. He would make this happen, he would fight for her. And once he told her the truth about his past, if she would still have him, he would work tirelessly to make her the happiest woman in the world.