He was tempted to laugh at the irony of it all, here he stood on the edge of the railing that he once tried to convince a girl to jump off, manipulating her into seeing how her problems were not worth losing her life for but this was different. Teetering on the edge of life and death. His head was full of throughs while the pain killers flowed through his body. Everything felt numb and cold and empty, one strong breeze and the raven haired boy would be swept off the edge.
Muttering to himself, Izaya tried to pin point the thing that had finally push him over the edge
It started a week ago shizuo had walk up to him, bringing to light Izaya fears
"This is over"
"Huh"
"This has to stop" the blonde continued
"What do you mean shizuo-chan" Izaya turned with a innocent twirl in his step
"This cycle of fighting each other will go on forever, it has to stop, I don't care what you do, your not my problem, it's over" shizuo said with a emotionless gaze
"Huh" Izaya was beginning to get confused
" don't act like you don't know, I won't be your plaything any more, it's over"
With that he turned and walked away leaving a rather confused flea behind him.
He first felt denial believe this was all a joke and that shizuo would fight him again but it never happened,
then he felt anger
Then bargaining
And depression
And at last acceptance, now it was his fate to walk through life as empty and lifeless as a dying flower
He laughed at this memory, shizuo-chan had done the one thing he said he would, he killed Izaya not physically but by taking the one thing he could rely on, the one thing that he could find comfort in, conflict, fighting.
The sound of footsteps came near
"Izaya, what are you doing" the boy turned on the railing to face the last person he expected to see, the beautiful shizuo.
"Shizuo" the boys stood there is silence on a rooftop above the city
"I'm not here to fight, I just have a question"
"Ask away, shizuo-chan" Izayas voice sarcastic trying to cover the underlying emptiness in his tone.
"What did you get out of organising all those gang wars and plots"
Izaya froze
And shizuo continued "do you even understand what you made people go through, did you ever feel about how it affected everyone, or do you not care"
"I-I" Izaya stuttered unable to answer. Seeing his response, shizuo just offered a sad smile and turned back towards the way he came, waving over his shoulder "doesn't matter" his voice unsettling calm "farewell flea"
And then he started to walk away,
Izaya let out a startled noise as he couldn't bring himself to speak above a mere whisper, his voice shy and sad, as he began to speak, shizuo turned around to face the last thing he thought he'd ever see, Izaya crying .
"do you know the feeling of utter sadness, or how it feels to be completely empty, stuck in a world where everything seems shallow and dead, like someone wiped all the joy and colours away, it hurts, the hollow feeling that constantly coats my mind, it never leaves, that constant pain that slowly drowns you, each wave bigger then the last" Izaya had always been one for dramatics, raised voices and grand gesture but now his voice was quite, barely a whisper above the sound of rushing wind "of course you wouldn't know how it feels when Everyone and everything thing becomes louder, crushing you with every look and every glance, like a silent countdown until you finally lose all control, letting yourself lose who you once were and all your problems takeover you thoughts disintegrating your last life line, they stand there a constant force like the fact that all I'm good for is selling secrets and pulling strings, that if I died I could easily be replaced and no one would care, the Fact that if someone wanted too kill me I would let them, the fact that I love the one person I'm meant to hate" izaya whispering louder words that had been silently spoken in his mind, "I can't do this, it's killing me"
a shock shizuo standing in front of the man as he snapped, tears that once that fell from his anger filled eyes staining his face that only showed a expression of utter defeat as the reality of his words hit him full force. Raising a hand to his mouth to stifle a sob that threatened to break the silence. The realisation of what he had just done "I'm sorry for wasting your time, shizuo" and then he began to step towards the edge, lowering his eyes away from shizuo as he stepped backwards.
"What are you doing Izaya" shizuo questioned with a surprising about of panic in his voice, Izaya didn't bother to answer, letting the wind push him of the edge. His eyes looking over shizuo one last time, the blond dashed towards him as he fell.