My Darling Nadia

A Nadia: Secret of Blue Water Fic By CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun)

Nadia is the property of Hideaki Anno and GAINAX.

Note: This fanfic is an alternate version of episode 34 of the series. Spoilers may follow

Nadia was feeling utterly dejected. While Grandis and the others packed up the Gratan, she sat next to their hut with her head down and her arms wrapped around her knees. She felt like such an idiot. She'd been mooning over Hamahama and he had been engaged all along. She supposed she should have seen it earlier if only she hadn't been so blind. She sighed deeply. The sooner they got away from here the better. She wanted to forget all about this as soon as possible.

"Nadia!" a familiar high-pitched voice called. Nadia looked up to see Marie staring back. "Nadia, have you seen Jean?"

Nadia scowled in response. "No," she responded bluntly.

"Come to think of it," said Hanson. "He hasn't been around for awhile. Sanson, have you seen him anywhere?"

Sanson shook his head. "His things are gone though. Isn't he in the Gratan?"

"No," Hanson replied.

"Idiot..." Nadia muttered. "Wandering around when we're supposed to be leaving..."

"We should probably go looking for him," said Hanson.

Nadia stood up sharply. "Fine. Let's get this over with." She stomped off fuming.

Hanson, Sanson and Marie just stared at her as she left.

"She's scary," said Marie. Hanson and Sanson nodded mutely.

As the sun began to set, Nadia was growing frustrated. Where was that idiot hiding? She was going to give him such a smack when she finally found him. He was probably goofing off building one of his stupid inventions again. Just then she noticed a familiar figure in blue slacks and suspenders off walking in the distance. He had a large bag slung over his shoulder.

Finally, she thought to herself as she darted off towards him.

"Jean!" she called. "Jean!" He didn't respond.

He's ignoring me! That jerk!

It was only when she finally stepped in front of him that he stopped. She put her hands on her hips and scowled at him "Just where do you think you're going?"

"I'm leaving," Jean replied bluntly.

Nadia, still scowling, raised an eyebrow. "Leaving?"

Jean nodded. "Yes. I'm going back home to France."

"You're going to walk to France?" Nadia asked sarcastically.

"Of course not," Jean replied, still sounding cool. "I figure once I get to the coastline I should be able to get a boat, or I could always make one."

Nadia clenched her teeth. Her patience was growing very thin. "Quit talking nonsense! Everyone is waiting for you!" She grabbed hold of his arm to drag him away.

"I said I'm NOT GOING!" Jean snapped, wrenching his are from Nadia's grip. Nadia just stared, taken aback slightly by his reaction."I'm not going anywhere, if I have to go with you." he growled, causing Nadia to recoil as if she'd been struck.

She stared wide-eyed at him before she managed a response. "What do you mean by that?!" she said, her fury returning.

"I mean, I'm sick of you!!" Jean retorted. He looked away from her and stared at the ground. "Everytime, it's the same thing. 'Jean, I hate you!', 'Jean, you useless idiot!', 'Jean, you pervert!' until you need something and then you start in with 'Jean! I need you to build something. You can do it. You're a genius.' And everytime I fall for it thinking that somehow things have changed. Well, I kept my promise and now I'm leaving. Go see if you can get Hamahama to buy your act!"

Nadia's response was quick as she smacked him across the face.

"How dare you..." she said, shaking with anger. "You know full well..."

"Oh, that's right," Jean responded coldly, a hand pressed to his face where she struck him. "I forgot. So is that why you came looking for me? 'Well, I didn't get what I wanted but at least I can use Jean for awhile to get what I want until something better comes along'. Is that it?"

Nadia grabbed him roughly by his shirt. "How dare you... How dare you insult me like that when..."

"When what?" Jean shouted back. "When the person you loved dumped you for someone else?! Well, I already know what that feels like!" Tears began to well up in his eyes. "You want sympathy? Where were you when my heart was ripped out?!" He slumped to his knees, his shirt slipping from Nadia's grip, tears streaming down his face. "I don't care anymore! Just leave me alone!"

Nadia stood there silently, stunned. Her anger gone all she could do is stare at Jean, who was sobbing in the dust. Had she truly hurt him this badly? As she thought over the past couple of days she remembered how she had been particularly cold to Jean, berating him over little things as if to reassure herself in her mind that he was of no consequence and that her new love was far more important to her. She remembered the pain she felt when Hamahama had told her of his engagement and she hated the idea that she might have inflicted that same pain on someone else, especially someone close to her.

"Jean..." she said quietly as she knelt down in front of him. He kept his face hidden from her.

"Jean," she said again placing her hand gently on his shoulder. "Jean, please look at me."

Jean slowly raised his head to look at her.

"I know..." Nadia began, stammering slightly. "I know I've been fairly mean to you lately. I've been selfish and I hurt you. And... I'm sorry."

Jean opened his mouth to respond but Nadia placed a finger to his lips to silence him. "I know I've said that before. And I know I'll probably have to say it again. You've done so much for me and I've been fairly ungrateful at times." There were tears welling in her own eyes now. "You've cared about me and I took advantage of it and then tossed it away. You have every reason to hate me and leave me behind..." She put her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. "But, please... I'm asking you to stay. I... I don't want to lose you because I was stupid. Please... I don't want to be alone again."

It was Jean's turn to be silent. He could feel Nadia's tears soaking into his shirt. He slowly put his arms around her.

"No, Nadia," he said at last. "I'm sorry. I was so busy thinking about myself... I forgot about your feelings too." He paused. "Can you forgive me?"

Nadia nodded silently. "I guess... I guess we're both still pretty bad at this kind of thing," she said with a weak smile.

Jean smiled back. "I'm sure we'll figure it out sooner or later."

"So this is where they've been," said Sanson as he scowled at the two shillouettes off in the distance.

Grandis nodded. She had been watching the whole exchange from a safe distance. She took a drag off her pipe.

"Pfft. Wasting our time... I thought we were supposed to be getting ready to leave," said Sanson.

Grandis glanced over at him. "I think that this was more important." She looked back towards Nadia and Jean. "No matter how much you want it to be, love isn't easy, it seems. It hurts but somehow you can't live without it."

Sanson said nothing.

"Still, I suppose those two have a better shot at it than most," said Grandis before turning away. "Let's go. They'd probably want a moment alone. It's best if they don't know we were watching."

Sanson and Grandis turned and walked back through the village towards the Grantan.

Ever since I finished watching "Nadia" I've had quite a few ideas for fanfics based on the series. This seemed like the easiest place to start. I wrote as basically a replacement for the actual music video montage heavy events of episode 34 (hence the title). Whether or not this is actually an improvement is up for debate, I expect.

-CCS