Scars of the past

"Hey guys." said Beast boy climbing down the stairs to the swimming pool outside Titan tower. Cyborg, Robin and Starfire laughed aloud and even Raven smiled slightly. He was wearing his uniform. "What's so funny?" said Beast boy curiously. "Dude come on. Go put on your real swimming costume." Said Robin as Beast boy had climbed in. "This is my swimming costume." Beast boy insisted. "Oh most humorous Beast boy. You are joking about how your uniform is a swimming costume. Very entertaining." Said Starfire grasping a piece of the uniform between two fingers and tweaking it up. "Oh. This is just a modified wet suit. It's not my uniform, just looks like it." Said Beast boy as he swam over. "Why do you always wear suits that cover your entire body apart from your face? I can't even remember seeing more than your face. We don't even know what your hands look like." Pointed out Robin as Beast boy had got to them.

Beast Boy stiffened at this comment and turned quickly to the boy wonder "Maybe I don't want you to see anything expect my face. What business is it of yours anyway? You always wear a mask. Do I annoy you over that then? No! Can we please drop the subject." snapped Beast boy. Then he was back to normal but Raven remembered the look on his face for that second, it was a mixture of fear and sadness, the image was seared into her head she had never seen anything near to it on Beast boys face before.

The rest of the team nodded in agreement. Beast boy had never asked them about their little oddities. Starfires cooking and Tamarainian customs, Robins mask and past and Cyborgs inner-workings, Beast boy had never asked any of them, sometimes slivers found their own ways out but he never asked. It was one of the very few requests he had ever respected. Robin looked the green boy in the eyes and said slowly "Sorry. We were just interested." Beast boy relaxed a bit "It's okay." And then quickly changed the subject.

The rest of the day went without incident. Raven pretended to enjoy herself but every time she started to the look on Beast boys face in those few seconds. So this is how Beast boy feels when I do something he doesn't understand. Wow now I know why he is so determined to draw me out of my shell. I'm not going to sleep tonight. They swam for a few more hours, Raven continuously thinking about the possibilities of why Beast boy only wore clothing that covered his entire body. They ranged from the wholly possible He thinks his bodies ugly to the simply insane He is a vampire and if he shows anything but his face he will combust. Every one was more unusual than the last, more outlandish, less likely.

Then she was snapped out of the day dream by a shout "Raven. Come on, you've been standing there for four hours. It's almost nine o'clock." She looked and realised that she was sitting in the dark, cold water. The sun had long passed beyond the horizon and Beast boy was sitting on the pool side waiting for her. "Oh sorry." She mumbled. Beast boy looked at her and smiled "Who are you and what have you done with Raven?" he commented. Raven was thrown by this comment "What?" she questioned.

Beast boy offered her a hand which she pulled herself out with. The smile was still plastered on his face, he passed her a towel and he pointed out "You can't be Raven. Raven never says sorry and you just did." Raven took a second to realise what he had said then it clicked and she retorted "Yeah, well the Beast boy I know doesn't offer a lady a hand out the Pool like a true gentle man." Beast boy clutched his heart overdramatically and rolled his eyes "Oh. To suffer the slings and arrows. But I am a gentleman. If M'lady permits me to prove to her." He said then exaggerated a bowed and offered her a hand. She rolled her eyes and gave him a nudge. Before she knew he was under the water. She only pushed him a little but he was bowed over and so he took a step back, he stepped into a puddle and slipped. He fell to the floor and smashed his head on the edge of the pool then slid in.

Raven took a second to realise what had happened and another to overcome the shock. After the two precious seconds Raven knew that if she didn't act right now he would die she didn't have time to call the others. She dove into the water, the cold of the suddenly freezing water taking away her breath. She dove in and on wards searching for the green boy at the bottom of the pool. She saw him and dived further down to him. She placed her arms under his limp form bubbles escaping from his mouth. She saw that his face had taken on a pale pastel green rather than the full leafy colour he was usually. She swam quickly to the surface and pushed him onto the side. She was lucky that he was the shortest and lightest of the Titans or she wouldn't have stood a chance. She jumped out and ran over. He wasn't breathing. She knew CPR like all the titans and knew that her powers wouldn't remove the water from his lungs. She thought back to the lessons and remembered the first step. She would have giggled at the irony if it were a different set of circumstances. The first step of CPR is to remove any tight clothing. Beast boy's clothes were skin tight. She waved her hand and the clothes ripped apart in a blur of black. She hoped that this would be enough to revive him, it was he shuddered for a second then coughed up a large buckets worth of water. Raven looked at him as he looked up for a second whimpered "thank you." then slipped back into unconsciousness.

Raven picked the now naked Boy up and rushed inside.

Cyborg was making a large mug of hot chocolate for each of the members when the door to the outside opened behind him. Just Raven and Beast boy coming in, about time. He turned to ask them if the wanted a cup of hot chocolate too. As he saw the sight he dropped his cup. Raven was standing in the door way dripping wet, her hair lay limp and scraggly over her shoulders, in her arms lay a naked Beast boy breathing faintly and limp, the entire room was coated in dark energy and the things nearest Raven were melting slowly. She looked at him for a second then said "Get Robin. I'll take him to the med bay." Then she turned away towards the med bay and ran.

Raven lay Beast boy down on the med table. For the first time she realised two things, first he was still bleeding from the head quite profusely probably the reason he had fallen unconscious again. She quickly fixed his head with a burst of magic and a well placed hand. Then she noticed the second thing, he had been completely naked since she had saved him. Before she had not known if he was okay or not but now there was more certainty that he was going to be fine she wasn't so distracted. She tried to avert her eyes but her eyes were drawn to his body. They started off at his legs and slowly worked their way up. This may be the only time I get to see him without a full body suit on might as well put my mind to rest justifying her actions in her own mind. She stared up his legs, they were muscular and very hair, she looked up and absorbed every detail of his chest, and it was also very hairy and muscular. His wiry frame was almost entirely muscle and sinew. She glanced over him a couple of times absorbing every small detail and processing it. His hands were tipped in small well tipped claws, his toes ended in stronger harder looking talons and the toes were opposable. She turned to get a chair when something noted itself in her mind. It was a hint of something just under his left elbow. A tiny, little, almost unnoticeable purple sliver. She lifted his arm and saw that it became large and spread onto his back.

She placed her arms under him and slowly flipped him. She looked at his back for a second, the shock beyond anything she had thought of before. The tiny purple line was the tip of a massive gash that spanned his back, this scar was one of three each leading right across his back. It was the outline of a cane; there were also several old puncture holes in his skin. She saw that on the underside of his arm was tattooed CH- Subject 08578. She stumbled back trying to remove the image of those blazing scars from her mind.

Beast boy mumbled quietly. Despite herself she walked over and flipped him, only when she got close did she understand what was being said. He wasn't saying anything but the noise said more than any words could, he was quietly screaming, the air slowly escaping. His eyes winced and he roared under his breath. The screaming then continued with quiet sobbing. The crying wasn't in itself scary, it was the fact she knew what it was over, it wasn't human it was a kittens cry and he didn't want her to know.

Beast boy sat up suddenly and screamed. Then he realised where he was and stopped instantly. He looked over and saw that Raven was in the corner. "Hey Rae. I got hit didn't I? What's happened?" He looked down and saw he was nude. He smirked and crossed his arms in mock anger "Aww Raven couldn't you hold yourself back until I was awa…" then he blanched as much as he could. He looked over and the look on her face confirmed his fears. He put his hand over his shoulder and touched his back gently. Then he stood up and looked around, not finding what he was looking for in her eyes, looked at her one second more then disappeared.

Beast boy didn't transform he disappeared as far as Raven could tell. She looked for him with her powers but couldn't find him. He had not life force in this time, space or even universe as far as she could tell. He was gone completely. She had driven him out of existence.

She spent the rest of the day searching for him; she checked the rocks, the pool, her room, the living room and the basement. At the end of the day there was only one place in the tower island that she hadn't checked. His room.

Raven walked over to the door of his room and knocked. There was no answer so she knocked again. She knocked one last time then entered anyway. She scanned the room and knew he wasn't there. He's really gone. Was all that went through her mind. Over and over each time becoming louder. She sat down on his bed looking around the room. It had a lived in look, it was disorganised and messy. It was his room. Anyone who went into the room knew that it was Beast boys.

She picked up the pillow and smelt his scent. It was musky but earthy. Tears welled in her eyes and she picked a piece of paper up off the table. Might as well put my thoughts on paper. She pulled out a pen with her eyes still streaming she wrote.

And so I wander these empty halls.
Footsteps echo of the darkened walls.
I try to remember a better time, a time more free.
A time of laughter, a time of glee.
I try to think of the darkness reason.
I think over this darkest season.
The horror strikes the darkness falls.
It closes filled with your voices calls.
And so I realise, now I see.
That the darkness is because of me.
I cry, I cruse, Tear my skin.

I try to not care but I cannot win.

I walk the halls of you, long gone.
I walk this road forever on.

She put it down and placed her head back in the pillow crying his name. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up expecting Starfire or Robin. It was Beast boy still naked. His hand was on her shoulder and his other hand held the piece of paper.

She threw her arms around him not caring how he managed to pop back into existence so fast. He smiled and whispered in her ear "Sorry for leaving you. I just needed to know where you were willing to go to find me. I needed to know that you loved me. Like I love you."

Raven pulled back tears of joy forming this time. "Where were you?" Beast boy smiled "I turned into a microbe; I was in the corner of your eye." Raven looked him in his eye and he shrugged "Hey. I'm not cruel. I wouldn't…Couldn't ever leave you. I love you too much to put you through that pain, thinking it's you fault."

Raven smiled; angry that she had been manipulated, surprised that it was Beast boy who had manipulated her but more than anything happy that he loved her.

Beast boy picked up her hand and placed it on the scars "So…you still want to know about these? I'll tell you if you promise not to tell the others." Raven thought for a moment knowing her next word may change their relationship forever. Then nodded slowly and said "Yes. Tell me."

Beast boy stood up and walked over to the drawers. He opened the top one and then pulled the bottom out. Beneath was a secret draw. He pulled out a book. He walked back and sat down next to her again. It was a scrap book with a news paper clipping stuck to the front. The heading read "Animal protesters free over 100 animals from inhuman conditions thanks to witness." It showed a picture of him looking thin, there were bald patches on his head and he had a defiant look on his face. He opened the first page. It was another head line "New research lab opened to find out about rare diseases."

Beast boy showed her page after page. Each one was grimmer than the last. From what she could tell the lab had started off with great intensions but was taken over by a major corporation who used it to experiment on animals. He pointed out the date he had been caught on. He could even put a product to each scar. One was a mascara test, they had wanted to find out if it was poisonous or not. Another had been caused by an experimental lipstick that had burned him on contact, stripping the hair and flesh.

This was leaving out the obvious mistreatment that had been an every day occurrence there anyway. The clips showed the cattle prods and sticks that had been used to keep the animals under control. She sat and took it all in without a word knowing how he felt. The emotions flowed off him in a way they had never before. Usually his emotions were quiet, shades of pink happiness. The strongest she had ever felt was a black he had fallen into when Terra had betrayed them. But even that was a simple pastel colour compared to this, this was an entire painting of emotions. It was a painting in dark colours with blood on the brush and the picture portrayed of a murder.

The tale finally ended with him being rescued by a group of Animal rights activists, starved, almost dead for an infection in one of the cuts and half mad with pain. He walked over to the wardrobe and brought out a cage. "I spent two years in this cage…" He placed it back and finished the story with "… Now you know why I like to wear a full body suit. I look like a twisted monster under it." Raven's arm shot out without her knowledge and wrapped around his neck then her head lent onto his shoulder all by itself. "No you're handsome. It's not you fault that you have a few scars. We all have scars some are physical, some are mental. But all shape who we are. They show you're such a caring person. Most people would be bitter if they had scars like that but your not. You help people."

Beast boy looked into her eyes just like before. This time it seemed he found what he was looking for and placed his arm around her. "Why should everyone suffer because of one group of Bastards cruelty." Raven climbed out of his chest and said "I'm so glad that you're such a good person. Otherwise we would be enemies then we couldn't go out."

Beast boy walked over to the wardrobe and picked out a uniform then put it on. He smiled. Raven walked to the door, stopped and smiled. She turned and said "Come on. If you're going to be my escort to the Pizza shop you can't just stand there."

Beast boy walked over and bowed with the exact same style as at the pool. She took the offered hand and slipped her arm into his. They then stepped out to go have a pizza as their first Date.