Nuisance. That was what she was. A huge migraine in the shape of an overly hyper five year old with pink hair. The devil incarnate.
At least that was what he thought now, as he glumly stared at the ever growing pile of paperwork in front of him. If only that idiot hadn't gone and burnt down the whole left wing of his division (thank Gami no one was injured) he wouldn't be completing the meticulous task of filling papers for replacement. That little nuisance with horrible pink hair…
"Yay! Now the bimbo's gone away, Yachiru and Snowball can play!" Speaking of the devil. But there was something wrong. Did the equivalent of a five year old just say 'bimbo'? Not that it wasn't completely inaccurate in referring to Matsumoto; the woman did seem to be air headed at times-but still…a five year old saying the word 'bimbo'? He had a strong urge to laugh and another to beat some sense into Zaraki. The nerve of him, teaching a five year old how to swear. Then there was the matter of driving the little nuisance away. Toshiro sighed heavily. One more job on his to do list.
"Lieutenant Kusajishi, you will return to your squad immediately and refrain from making uncouth remarks," he said, trying the diplomatic approach. Yachiru continued to stare at him.
"But I wanna play with snowball!" she wined. Toshiro twitched. He had to use all his self control at not going Bankai on the little girl. What was he supposed to do? Well, he could always shove her in a sack and carry her back, a voice in his head answered, sounding mysteriously like Matsumoto. Twitch. How was he supposed to get her in there? You could always force feed her sake, the voice that sounded like Matsumoto replied, winking at him. As if her drunken presence in his life wasn't enough, the damned woman had to invade his mind. Somewhere in his inner world, Hyorinmaru laughed. Having an annoyingly powerful ice dragon for Zanpakuto did not help either, especially when said stupid ice dragon was prone to laughing at him. The little tortures of afterlife. Once again forcing himself not to wander off task, he thought of the perfect plan to get Yachiru back to her own Division-and completely chew off his dignity.
The proposal? Tag, you're it. With that in mind, Hitsugaya Toshiro shunpoed narrowly avoiding the pink ball of death. Then, his life got even better.
"Ken-Chan! Snowball played with me! Do you think Snowball wants to play with you?" Yachiru sang. 'Snowball' twitched. Playing in Zaraki's vocabulary was the equivalent of a duel to the death. The man himself skeptically gave the short Captain a once over.
"As if he could even slice off a chunk of my hair!" he growled. And that was how Hitsugaya Toshiro, otherwise known as 'Snowball' got stuck in a duel to the death with Zaraki Kenpachi, the most violent bastard the world has ever known. Please, if anyone feels that something is off, do not hesitate to review.
The opponent was short, and limber. Hard to cut. That didn't matter to him, for he was the great Kenpachi, the strongest in history. No one would ever defeat him, much less the child prodigy. And that was how, dear friends, he got careless. He actually let the tenth Division Captain almost decapitate him with that long chain he swung around. Le Gasp. The apocalypse. It was then that Hitsugaya's fate was decided, Zaraki was never letting a golden sparring partner like this go.
And it was all because of that nuisance…
A/N: Yes people! This is a Yachiru/Hitsugaya! Eventually anyways, when both are older. Right now, however, the unfortunate Shiro is stuck fighting the most bloody Taicho out there and not playing tonsil hokey with Yachiru. I bet you didn't see that coming. Once again, we remind you that this will not be normal Shiro/Yachiru; there are no time skips, and Toshiro doesn't magically get tall, and hot, and Yachiru doesn't exactly get a Rangiku style body either. So are we clear?
Parody Thingy:
The sword was jagged with misuse, perfect for the purpose. Slicing a midget up. The midget in question, however, had proved his worth when he dodged nearly all his attacks and blocked the rest. But he could tell the midget was tiring. Soon, he would be dumplings served on a golden platter.
Hitsugaya: GAHH! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PSYCHOPATH! WHOEVER'S CAUSING THIS WILL DIE! DIE DAMMIT DIE!
Pie: *looks around lazily* Want more popcorn Pixie?
Demon-Pixie: Why not?
Hitsugaya: *twitch* Bankai Daiguren Hyorinmaru!
Demon-Pixie: I think we may have gone a little far this time Pie…
Pie: To hell with it! There's a good fight here, and I'm gonna use it! Bankai Akane Ayumu!
*Insert battle scene where Pie almost kills Hitsugaya*
Hitsugaya: That's another crazy bastard that wants to kill me…
Pie: *twitch* What was that? Get back here you aardwolf so I can kick ass!
Demon-Pixie: *too used to it to be bothered* Where was that popcorn again?