Disclaimer: Okay so all the characters were created by and belong to Tolkien and the music was written by Joss Wheedon. I only take credit for writing the lyrics.

If you haven't seen the 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' episode 'Once more with feeling' then this probably won't make much sense. For those of you who have the name of the song copied is starred next to the title.

All the directions are in brackets so I guess it's just a matter of using your imagination.

I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it

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Living in the Shire *Going through the motions*

(We see Bilbo coming out of the front door at Bag End. The sun is shining and he surveys his surroundings)

Bilbo: Every single day is all the same

I go out and smoke my pipe

Whatever happened to my fame?

Spending money left, spending money right (Bilbo gaily chucks money around him)

I've been getting looks for writing books but I am just a crook

For I've been living in the Shire, wishing that I weren't

I really want to leave but I. daren't

I've been really brave and seen the world

But now I find that I'm back here (Stood outside Bag End, he cocks a thumb back)

That when I give a wave to my friends they kind of give a sneer (Bilbo waves and two Hobbits hurry away)

Hobbits: (We hate to disappear) (Bilbo shrugs)

Thanks for being sincere

(Shot of the Lobelia and Otho Sackville-Baggins dancing in front of Bag End)

Together: (We had lots of fun when he was gone and we hope there's someone)

Lobelia: (That can make him leave the Shire) Otho: (Make him leave him in the Shire)

Lobelia: (Make him go away)

Together: (We would like a word Bilbo (Bilbo disappears with aid of the ring) -hey?)

(He reappears walking down the road towards Hobbiton)

Bilbo: I will feel this way forever

If I don't get out of this tether

And get back out there whatsoever

I don't want to be.

Staying in the Shire getting old and crazed

I just want to be

Out there were it's free

And find were I can live my last days

(Bilbo with his arms spread, panoramic sweeps of the Shire)

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I've got. absolutely no idea *I've got a theory*

(Gandalf, Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin are all in Bag End. Gandalf is stood by the fire, thinking while Frodo pours some tea. The other three Hobbits are sat round the table)

Gandalf: I've got a theory, that it's a ring

(Looking puzzled) An Elvish ring? Naa something isn't right there

Sam: (Looking excited) I've got a theory, that it's a dark lord

And we're all stuck in some really scary nightmare (expression changes to terrified)

All together: I've got a theory we should work this out

Just actually what this brooding evil's all about

Pippin: It could be wizards some evil Wizards (Stands up to find Gandalf glaring at him)

Which is ridiculous, cos they are immortal and maiar good, sent from the west and I'll be over here (Sits down again)

Merry: I've got a theory it could be dragons

(Room is silent)

Gandalf: I've got a theory.

Merry: They're not extinct like everybody supposes

They've got these big teeth and breath fire through their noses

And what's with all the jewels?

What do they need such shiny beds for anyway?

Dragons, dragons it must be dragons

Or maybe dwarves?

Sam: (holding on to Gandalfs robes) I've got a theory we should work this fast

Gandalf: We need to learn some things about the past (Starts to leave but stops on hearing Frodo)

Frodo: I've got a theory - it doesn't matter

We'll take this thing out of the shire

This evil ring that I've acquired

Adventures - we've never been on

But we will fight, we will go on

Hobbits: We know we're only Hobbits

But we will go and try and stop it

Frodo: We'll go on this trip

We will fly

Merry and Pip

And Sam and I

Hobbits: We'll take the ring out of the shire Gandalf: (They'll take the ring)

Hobbits: We'll strive through ice and through fire Gandalf: (They'll strive through ice)

Hobbits: There's nothing we can't face

Merry: Except for Dragons

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I will be uploading the rest in the future if you are at all interested in reading