I'm Not that Girl – Astrid
By Jordyn Potter
The sun had fully set over Berk, and night had come. The lights in the village twinkled in the distance, but Astrid had turned away from the path that would led her home. She had a lot to think about. At least all was quiet and peaceful here in the forest, except for the occasional chirping cricket. And although she was surrounded by long dark shadows, she wasn't afraid because the moon casted soft beams of light through the canopy above to light her way. Still, Astrid was lost in her thoughts, the events just a few hours ago still playing through her mind.
She'd never expected Hiccup to do something like that with her tonight. It was reckless, and stupid, and absolutely crazy, breaking that dragon out of captivity and releasing it into the wild. Definitely something normal Vikings didn't do; it went against everything they stood for, but… she just couldn't leave the poor creature alone. And to her complete surprise, neither could he.
Astrid gazed down at her hand, and traced the edges of her palm, remembering the way his hand had held hers. His cheeks colored when he realized he'd been holding it for too long. She couldn't help but feel again the same slow burn that filled her cheeks. Those sweet green eyes gazing at her…
What was wrong with her? She never felt like this before. Was she…? Was she really?
Hands touch, eyes meet
Sudden silence, sudden heat
She pressed her hand to her chest, almost timid, feeling her heart beat a little harder. She couldn't stop her from imagining what it would've felt like to hold his hand just a little longer. The thought momentarily exciting her.
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy…
Then she closed her eyes, her shoulders slumping.
But I'm not that girl
She tried shaking her head of these thoughts, scolding herself. She could remember dozens of different faces look at her with surprise and disgust. Each and every one of them had been painfully burned in her memory. But even so… his one face smiling at her seemed to make the rest of them disappear. And it was impossible to deny the tiny smile that was temporarily brought to her lips.
Don't dream too far
Don't lose sight of who you are
Don't remember that rush of joy
He could be that boy…
I'm not that girl
The path widened, and she came to a small pond, the air alit with dozens of softly glowing fireflies. Coming closer to the water's edge, Astrid peered down at the surface gently lapping at her feet on the shore. Her rippling reflection gazed back at her with sad blue eyes.
Every so often we long to steal,
To the land of what-might-have-been
But that doesn't soften the ache we feel
When reality sets back in…
She hugged her arms trying to rub warmth into them, but it seemed useless. She sighed and, turning away, her feet made her walk along the shore, the pace slow and methodic as her thoughts turned to Heather.
Blithe smile, lithe limb,
She who's winsome, she wins him
Her hand drifted up and curled one of her untidy blonde locks hanging down the side of her face around her finger, and she sighed, her heart clenching.
Black hair with a gentle curl,
That's the girl he chose
She gave a faint chuckle, the smile forced on her lips.
And heaven knows…
I'm not that girl
She stopped and blinked, surprised to find herself fighting back a small wave of bitter tears. She wiped them quickly and shook her head, her voice quaking slightly.
Don't wish, don't start
Wishing only wounds the heart
She shook her head harder, trying to drive the fact in her head. Hiccup likes Heather. He likes her charm, sophistication, grace. Heather was every guy's dream! And Astrid was… was just…
I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl
She bit her lip, a burning growing in the back of her throat despite how hard she fought to keep it down.
There's a girl I know,
He loves her so…
Her eyes stung as she shut them tight. A single tear spilled over. She took a deep breath and sighed.
I'm not… that girl…
And, feeling rather numb and empty, Astrid headed down a path that would take her back to the village. Back home to reality, where everything was back to normal… back to the way things were before they ever helped that dragon escape…
Back to the way it should be. Like nothing changed at all.